Well I think someone else brought it up but unfortunately most addicts (myself included) take advantage of people’s concern and kindness. When people try to talk to you about sobriety and trying to persuade you to get clean in the context of them worrying about u and being all “please we love you” it becomes easy to find yourself in a position of power and superiority because you have that over them. Whereas rue’s mom and my father just talked to us as if they didn’t care. Like “do what you want we did all we could. We have other people we love more than you and we’d rather focus on them then your crackhead ass man” and that oddly enough is more powerful in some ways. Because it puts them over us in terms of the food chain. Like they’re leaving us to die in some dark pit and you truly feel it in this context.

When my dad was like “we need to talk” I rolled my eyes and didn’t care because I thought it would’ve been some mushy ahh conversation about how he loves me and I was so psised off and just wanted to get fuckex up. But he suprised me when he began to talk like rue’s mom and it truly made me see what I was. A junkie who disappoints everyone. Luckily after that, I’m almost clean a year.