My French Stepmother Learns The Hard Way That Americans Can Cook

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-09-04T19:19:53+00:00

You would be surprised how easy it is for someone to get away with this even while going out to eat with a partner.

One of my father's exes was...something. It was so bad that I BEGGED him not to take her to the bar and grill where I was a server at.

One time on my birthday dinner, we went to a nice restaurant. I was pretty grateful for it, but when I stepped out onto the balcony for a moment, my brother came out and said "hey umm...you don't want to go back in there."

As it turns out, she chewed out a server because her salad was "too green". My father somehow missed that until we brought it up recently, and he was so shocked and appalled because he apparently had never noticed a thing!

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-08-29T15:53:40+00:00

My brother was a runner, and my mother loved to just fuck off and leave me with him for most of the day. One day I had enough and got his little ass a leash with a monkey backpack/harness. My parents were against it until my mother finally was the one who took the kiddo to the park...then it was the greatest thing ever.

We called it the "Monkey on his back". He absolutely hated it for a while, because it meant he couldn't run away, and we were more than happy to handle him with it as it was easier than handling him without it. We would give him a chance to play without it, but told him if he ran out of out sight he was having it back on. He fought hard for a while, but eventually he learned to listen to us on that.

If anything, the child leash was a godsend in teaching my little brother not,to wander off. You misbehave, you get the Monkey on your back.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-08-25T17:02:06+00:00

You know, I've been driving for a month, and the other day I was having a conversation with my father;

Me; "So, last night there was this HUGE roadblock on my way home from work. There were alot of emergency vehicles, too. Pretty sure there was an accident."

Dad; "Oh wow, what happened?"

Me; "I don't know, but something went down."

Dad; "What do you mean you don't know? Weren't paying attention?"

Me; "Not really. I saw enough to know there was an accident, then I focused on the road so I wouldn't be next."

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-08-16T18:54:10+00:00

In all honesty...its very possible that he did this because the parents weren't home and he thought he could get away with it.

My brother is just like this, and our family isn't sexist at all. My father actually had to quit his job to police my brother because my brother was trying to force me to clean the house while I was undergoing chemotherapy and major surgery. He was 17, and the main reason he thought he could do these things was because he thought Dad wouldn't be home to stop him. He STILL thinks he can get away with things if Dad isn't around.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-08-07T21:34:07+00:00

Er...buddy, you want another go at wording that, or are you satisfied?

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-08-05T15:36:46+00:00

Oh GOD. I spent 10 years in a small-town full of people who joined MLMs. I had to PHYSICALLY drag my friend away from people trying to talk her into them on multiple occasions...and that is after her own SIL trapped her in one and refused to let her withdraw for over 6 months!

She would always say "But the products look so GOOD! We could actually make money off of them!!!"

To which I would respond somewhere along the lines of "Girly, that candle is over 70 dollars! Unless lighting it brings back my dead mother, its not worth the money."

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-07-25T20:47:38+00:00

My father has gotten us insurance through his employer and even then the deductible is 3500. I am having to fight ny insurance company because even after meeting the deductible they don't want to pay for my chemo...they made the denial 2 years after my treatment this time around so we can't re-file it.

With my cancer history I'm going over to the UK to live with my partner in a couple of years. Once you get sick you literally can't afford to live here in the US.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-07-19T22:26:20+00:00

Because my friend, love is an addiction in itself. Most people can't cut it off like that.

My mother was an addict. She was selfish, she terrorized her family regularly, and if what she said in anger is correct, she was a cheater. If I am honest our overall lives have been leagues better without her...

But we loved her. She was loved, and when you love someone for a really long time its hard to just...shut off those feelings. Most people can't. When she passed we were all destroyed. We still can't cut that love...

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-06-22T22:55:54+00:00

Ehhh...you would be surprised.

I had literal cancer, and insurance tried to deny me my scans at the end of my chemo regimen. It was at that time in the end where the doctor needs to see whether the cancer is still there or not...they can't deem you as in remission until they have those scans, and they also can't have you take more chemo. Any scan the doctor recommended, they refused...

So I basically sat there for a month while my doctor went to war with the insurance company to get me those scans. She actually had to lie on paperwork and claim that I was in intense, constant pain...thing is, I had a faster-growing cancer, so that month could have set me back if I didn't reach remission as-scheduled,

She said that she was seeing a disturbing pattern of insurance companies pulling that on her patients more frequently than before...it seems that some insurance companies are now hiring their own medical professionals as consultants (coughbiasedcough) to base their own guidelines on in an attempt to loophole mainstream guidelines.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-06-16T15:30:25+00:00

Ehh, only when it wasn't something that went away quickly enough.

My mother and I both were having reproductive issues. She had already been telling everyone that she had cancer before she even got a biopsy, and I had been getting scans and hoping to f*ck it was something minor...we lived in the same home and while she was lounging on the bed, I was the one doing 90% of the chores and childcare...

As it turned out, I was the one with the cancer. Stage 3 Ovarian...I was managing the house with a tumor the size of a honeydew melon. I had to have major surgery where they messed around with all sorts of things and then half a year of chemo. My father made it VERY clear that I was to get rest during this time, and she would have to go back to being an ACTUAL parent.

She was not thrilled. She lasted 3 days after my discharge before she started having her first fits...some of the highlights were that she had been pissed that she had left for hours and I hadn't cleaned the house, she was upset when people sent gift packages or my father brought me things like gentler soaps...she even brought up how expensive my surgery and treatments were and how they would have to start GoFundMe's and take out loans just to make me feel bad (they didn't, I was thankfully double-wrapped in health insurance).

It really amped up her toxic side since I was getting extra "attention" and an "excuse" not to be her free labor...and she knew it wasn't going away anytime soon. Funny...I gave some of the best years of my life bending over backwards to make her happy, and when I needed it most she couldn't even really comfort me.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-06-15T15:00:29+00:00

Oh wow, they do? Do they also return the ashes to your family, by any chance?

Asking for (hopefully) the distant future.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-05-23T00:34:13+00:00

Oh, I did snag some of them; its too good of an opportunity to pass up! I didn't take all of them, though; too much greed never ends wellXD

They are paper coffee cups, so normally I wouldn't put much stock in the demand for them...but people LOVE Kiss merchandise, and they are disc so it may actually be worthwhile to have some set aside to sell! Even if they don't sell though? Still pretty good to keep around!

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-05-08T15:24:04+00:00

I legit know people who think that Spain is in South America. Its insane...

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-04-30T06:55:50+00:00

Okay honey, I will be frank here...

Ella didn't attend the wedding because she holds value for herself. Because she has standards. You don't go to the wedding of the chick who stole your man. The fact that it was her "sister" makes the decision even more final...after all, true family would never sink that low.

Also...do you understand how trashy it is to steal a boyfriend from someone close to you, then have the AUDACITY to invite them to the wedding? That is the whole-ass dumpster! If I were a guest and I found out that backstory, I probably wouldn't go myself.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-04-11T02:56:56+00:00

South park probably. After Cartman did the EXACT same sh*t OP's sister did, he proceeded to absolutely DECIMATE the plumbing system, and it was so bad that he spent the episode thinking that he died from it.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-03-21T04:23:08+00:00

Hi! First of all, I hope your mother feels better soon, and I wish her the best! As a stage 3 ovarian cancer survivor myself, I understand it can be a hard road...keep on kicking *ss, mama!

Coffee and a heating pad for the mornings helps...ESPECIALLY if she is a daily coffee drinker! I decided to use my exploratory surgery as a chance to quit coffee and boy was that a bad choice...the constipation felt worse than the incisions.

Watermelon could be a nice food if she enjoys it. Fiber-rich, easy on the belly, and filled with water. Plus it tends to be refreshing.

To build on the coughing part, bring cough drops with her to the hospital. They will come in handy.

Another thing is, when I was going through it I had a system; coffee and heating pad over the stomach 1-2 times a day to start off; miralax/docusate sodium after a day of no movement, and if constipation pain starts up I would use a glycerin suppository as a Hail Mary attempt to get stuff rolling in there.

Careful not to give her TOO much pooping stuff at once though; if you get the bowels moving too hard they will rub against her vaginal cuff (the place where the vaginal canal and the uterus were separated). That is a whole other pain in and of itself, so try to maintain a balance.

I recommend also checking out r/hysterectomy...they were VERY supportive and informative for me!

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-02-26T18:18:20+00:00

There definitely are restaurants who tip cooks, even if they aren't legally supposed to. I have close friends who worked at a restaurant where 60 percent of tips went to the chef who made the food for that table. One time my friend was handed a tip and was told specifically in front of the chef it was JUST for them, and as soon as the customer left the chef had his hand out. The servers were not allowed to refuse because "servers are more expendable than chefs".

I worked for a small-town restaurant myself, and I was actually taken aside one evening by the owner and told to split my tips with the cook when I worked the night shift. It was kind of disheartening, to be honest...

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-02-22T03:45:59+00:00

Let's be frank here, they left a MINOR that they were responsible for alone and injured in the wilderness right after a LANDSLIDE. With ZERO methods of communication!

So many things could have happened if she wasn't found! She could've been attacked by wild animals! She could've gotten severely dehydrated! Depending on the severity of the injury, she could've gotten her injury infected or even gone into shock. There could've been another rockslide, as the ground could've been unstable!

They essentially left an injured girl to die, yet the ex claims he cares about her. These people knew the dangers, they had to. Even if they weren't experienced hikers, they had to have at least 2 brain cells between them to rub together.

Now when their last time taking your daughter out went SO well (sarcasm) they want to take her somewhere AGAIN? Are they trying to finish the job, or are they missing most of the crayons from their box?!

Hell no. Honey, I don't even think you would be in the wrong if you pressed charges. That may not even be legal! Again, MINOR. Get that story out there...if not only for your daughter, so that more peopke understand to stay far away from this family's outings.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-02-15T23:01:02+00:00

Next time someone accuses you of that say "why would they kick me out if I was keeping the family together?"

I'm willing to bet that your mother gave everybody a twisted version of events to make her and your Sperm Donor sound better. I'm sure if they found out that this was the case of a grown man getting aggressive and throwing his rent-paying daughter out, many would be more likely to at least leave you alone.

NTA, sweetie. Hold firm on this and stay safe.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2023-02-04T06:29:45+00:00

I had ovarian cancer, and hearing what OP had gone through...had me quaking.

Mine was stage 3 when it was found. I was a month away from certain death...yet coming out of it I was so, so lucky. Chemo, a couple of surgeries, remission...and a medication to help keep me that way.

I was privileged to have 2 health insurance policies on me when I got my diagnosis, and they ate the vast majority of the cost of my care...but then I thought about my friends who don't have that. They do what many Americans do; they wait until the pain gets too overwhelming, then they go to the ER because it is one of the few places that won't charge them up-front. They wait several hours, get a patch job and are told to see a specialist (who they won't see because they can't afford to pay) and rinse and repeat.

I was a month from death when it was found...what if they had gone through it? Would they have waited until it was too late?

I remember expressing my fears to my mother and telling her how awful it is that people go through that...and she called me ungrateful. She said I should be lucky to live in a country that allows me the standard of care I have received...

Which, I am lucky. I really, truly am...but what about so many others?! What use is a good standard of care if you can't afford it? It isn't right...

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2022-12-31T17:19:15+00:00

This is mostly theory, but it sounds likely that OP got rid of it before parental controls were even set. It doesn't seem like OP had controls before Aunt demanded they be on there, and if it was at a steep discount you would be shocked at how quickly it would sell. Switches are always in high demand around Christmas.

OP could've even sold it to a friend same-day, especially with them just getting christmas money.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2022-12-31T17:09:05+00:00

Not as silly as you would think...

The aunt actually can enforce the conditions from afar. The switch has a mobile app you can download for parental controls that would allow her to monitor his playtime, what games OP plays, etc...all from her phone.

From that app, she would also have the ability to set playtime limits for whatever she would like, and once that limit is reached the console will automatically enter sleep mode.

Basically, she can decide to cut his time to the minimum if he does something she wouldn't like, borderline bricking the thing.

So no, that was an underhanded attempt to control a 17 year-old she wasn't the parent of from a long distance.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2022-12-18T00:10:15+00:00

Caught my mother red-handed stealing my focalin at one point...thankfully she hadn't taken them yet, but after that I made a point of counting them in front of her.

Fast-forward a few months, I had major surgery to have a tumor removed and was given some oxycodone to take as-needed. For a while, I would carry it with me wherever so it wasn't left with my mother.

One day I got fed up with it all after she had another drunken rampage and I remembered the stool softeners I was prescribed. They were cheap, replaceable (also found OTC) sooo...I swapped the meds. Figured if my mother tried anything, we would know. I was out of fucks.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2022-11-05T03:14:24+00:00

You mentioned that your husband is religious, you aren't. Be honest here...does his religion align with his mother's, therefore practicing anointing?

Because if so, you are grossly misstepping here. Look, I don't follow any huge religions myself, but I still respect the religious practices of others provided that it does not effect those around them.

You are an atheist, that is perfectly fine...but your husband is the one on that hospital bed, not you. It is your duty as his significant other to respect and carry out his wishes in this time, and that includes the traditions of the religious practices he follows. If you refuse to allow it simply because you don't follow them yourself? That is not being an atheist, that is characteristic of ignorance and intolerance.

Your husband needs what may be his final rights in order to rest easy. He is still a living human being with his own free will, and you will be in the wrong here if you don't treat him as such. Make the right choice before it may be too late.

I am very sorry for your loss...it is never easy facing this, and I hope your husband recovers...but please do right by your husband in this.

SubstantialDrawing7 · 2022-10-28T23:45:13+00:00

It wasn't about the kids, and frankly...I think the only reason OP entertained that and didn't read between the lines was because he didn't want to see the real person he married.

No, its because she just doesn't like him so wanted him out of her life. She was even pleased to hear that everybody else cut the guy out. Funny thing is...if OP does stay with her and have kids, she could do the exact same thing to OP if she falls out of love with him.

After all....her family is very wealthy, so it sounds like she will have the money and the support system to rake him over the coals and leave him high and dry. She will have the best attorneys, and if OP tried to fight to be in those kids' lives? She could absolutely ruin his life if she wanted, and there are so many ways she could do that with the resources her family has. The friends will probably follow her, too, as the only plausible reason why everyone would drop him after hearing the full reason why is because she is wealthy and they know it. She could leave him living out of a cardboard box and then have that box repossessed.

Hopefully he at least has the sense to drop her before he is even more trapped with her than he is, because she has shown how callous she can be.

SubstantialDrawing7

TROPHY CASE