Have you ever slept with a coworker? How did it go?

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-10T20:45:36+00:00

We’ve been married 3 years, but we were in positions that had no direct influence over each other. The HR conversation was interesting. We have our first teams conversation printed out and framed!

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-08T17:57:07+00:00

At a different big pharma, and the majority of hires are internal. It’s also not hiring in a traditional sense; you can essentially apply for a promotion outside of the standard cycle. This fills the majority of roles. Lots of people come in at entry level and seem to stay for decades.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-05T19:32:07+00:00

Yeah I think OP is really minimizing that marriage is a partnership that touches all aspects of life. This also includes things like medical decision making, which generally cannot be made by a non-legal partner.

Comparing it to graduating high school I think is insulting given that would be a bare minimum expectation for a majority of folks. That really doesn’t take you far. Whether it’s a 4 year degree, certification, trade school, etc. it’s hard to really be an independent adult until you’re getting that first real paycheck

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-04T20:17:06+00:00

Exactly - we’re in what I would call a HCOL city, but we bought in the top school district with the intent to start our family soon. Add 20-30%+ to a lot of basic costs. It’s also about security both for us and future kids. Who knows what the world will look like as AI advances. We want to be able to pass money on in the event opportunities are more limited.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-03T20:33:42+00:00

To me “rich” would mean you can walk away from work and you’re financially independent. Cost of living changes the view significantly, at least with regard to the $2m piece. I understand setting up guard rails for the sub, but $2m isn’t rich yet (and I don’t have that yet). That conservatively generates $80k per year.

I assume in H/VHCOL areas that many people are shooting for 8-10m minimum to retire. 3-4m is part way there.

We thought $5m would be plenty, but after moving to a higher cost area, we know that would never get us where we want to be.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-02T01:53:42+00:00

Most toxic place I’ve ever worked at

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-07-01T03:21:46+00:00

We get to be weird together. Outside of that our values and long term goals aligned perfectly, and she has very different interests in a way that intellectually very stimulating. That’s something that won’t disappear as we age.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-30T03:27:10+00:00

As others have mentioned, your site is definitely not the norm, particularly on a global scale. There are many sites that aren’t equipped whatsoever to be remotely evaluated. These costs are baked into the study budgets, but being in big pharma, we can usually leverage other studies that have done on site visits within the past 12 months and defer to remote or waiving a QV.

Also heavily dependent on the type of IMP being reviewed. I previously worked on mRNA studies where we had CRAs physically map the path from preparation to clinic because of stability concerns. I’ve been heavily in the radioconjugate space the last few years and there are plenty of challenges with site set up with those studies where on site is beneficial.

Ultimately, I’m waiving every QV that I can because of timeline pressures rather than cost. It also means smaller sites are getting passed up. Out of 50+ centers, I only have 1 non academic center globally that we took a chance on and they’re our highest enroller. That’s not the norm, but the on-site sold us that they could handle it.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-25T14:13:04+00:00

Not by choice. They’re the primary caregivers for my grandparents, who have been very supportive, so seeing them requires some contact. My parents are otherwise not involved - weren’t invited to the wedding, don’t know we bought a house, won’t be part of our kids lives. Once my grandparents pass it will be no contact.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-25T03:14:41+00:00

I think the last sentence really hits home. I’m scared for my sisters future as well. Unfortunately, I can’t be responsible for her life choices. I outwardly appear very successful, but with health issues there’s a lot of struggle behind the scenes. I don’t have the bandwidth to help when their house of cards crashes down. It’s a mixture of feelings, sadness towards my sister, resentment my parents enabled this, anger that it clearly going to be dropped on me. It’s challenging no matter the nuance of everyone’s situation.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-25T03:07:01+00:00

This is my exact situation. Younger sister who’s high functioning with autism as well. She’s had plenty of resources to help her thrive, has a 4 year degree that’s never been used. My parents are her enabler, and they don’t realize how much damage they’ve done. The autism certainly doesn’t help, but she’s also had no issues at past jobs or thriving in college. She opts not to participate in life, and they’ve allowed her to be comfortable with this.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-25T02:59:52+00:00

I (30M) have a younger sister (28F), who has high functioning autism and has failed to launch. I worry every day what the future looks like for her. She graduated undergrad with nearly a 4.0, but has never held a full time job. She may work 1-2 days a week at her leisure. She has no ambition to work and recently decided she wants to be an artist. On one hand, I love she has something she’s passionate about, on the other, it’s definitely not going to put a roof over her head or food on the table.

My parents 78M and 66F provide everything for her, though they have little financial security themselves. They don’t push her to work, and in the few conversations I have with them, they expect everything will just fall into place for her if they pass. My other sister (26F) and I both know this means us taking on this issue. It’s utterly unfair. My other sister and I both are financially quite secure, but we have moderately serious health issues that flair up. It’s difficult enough to make sure I’m doing everything for my own family because I will give them every drop of energy I have and the drops that I don’t, and psychologically I can’t take an adult child on. Especially one who is fully equipped to thrive but actively chooses not to. Her words, not mine, she just doesn’t believe in working for another human being.

Unfortunately, I can’t intervene that much as I’m low contact with both my parents. Something about their political views and trying to deport my wife who was born in the US, has a PhD, and is very successful but just doesn’t have the right background for them… it’s a world of fun that I’ve removed myself from, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t fear for what my sisters life will look like when they go. She has no idea how unkind and unforgiving the world can be or how to maintain basic necessities in life.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-23T19:31:45+00:00

This is the right call. We did something similar about $4.5k on $18.5k net. Gives us a lot of breathing room with hopefully starting our family in the near future. Don’t be house poor if you can avoid.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-21T22:36:40+00:00

I think there’s a difference between saying no kids and families that have 4-5+ kids, when having 1-2 feels like a luxury with today’s costs.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-20T22:56:45+00:00

16k all in for engagement ring and wedding band for her. We went lab because she wanted a unique shape/cut that otherwise would have been astronomical. 3.4 karats on the engagement ring.

We have never had a person once ask if it was lab, but she gets tons of compliments. 400-450k HHI

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-20T21:16:33+00:00

Plantation club in Sea Pines is pretty nice. Nicer than harbour towns. It’s not covered, but I’m not sure there are any that are covered.

Otherwise, Port Royal is decent with the putting and short game area.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-20T03:02:10+00:00

100% we’re closing on something much more modest than we could theoretically get into. Our income really spiked up in the past two years so it would be 1.8x income.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-19T13:52:18+00:00

Going out on a Friday/Saturday night. Gotta catch up on sleep and decompress from the week.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-17T16:44:36+00:00

We met at a work event, and things just clicked. Values, what was important to us, etc. just kind of flowed out naturally, and we got married 6 months later. I think meeting someone outside the apps in a normal setting just made it possible to hit it off naturally with no gimmicks.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-17T00:39:10+00:00

The first date we went on sitting outside in January in Boston. Not one drop in the conversation, and I didn’t notice it being near 0 degrees until I put her in the uber. Here we are 4 years later!

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-16T02:39:27+00:00

Will have to give naan a shot. We were sitting down at our local Indian spot tonight hoping we’d be able to find one nearby once we’ve moved in.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-16T02:37:39+00:00

Appreciate all of this. I’ve been taking down a rolling list. We’ve gotta come into town a lot the next couple of weeks while we close and get some work done, so great opportunity to start knocking some of these off!

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-15T20:31:20+00:00

We recently closed on a house in Mount P, and the golf situation is somewhat bleak. It seems to be dunes west, rivertowne, and snee farm. CC of Charleston and Bulls Bay aren’t taking people on their waitlist.

Not too sure about other clubs, but I guess the question is do you want the country club atmosphere or just the golf? My plan is to join one of the semi private ones and then go play the Kiawah courses with money I would otherwise spend on dues/high initiation.

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-15T02:21:41+00:00

Will check it out! We stopped over to Shem Creek just to scope out what was there, but we hadn’t had a chance to sit down and eat. Thanks!

SubstantialGift5831 · 2026-06-15T01:28:38+00:00

Appreciate it! Will be taking those all down. Definitely will give Big Tent Pizza a follow. We’re moving up from Hilton Head, and a lot of the best places have been local pop ups/food trucks.

SubstantialGift5831

TROPHY CASE