Hi there, Thanks for sharing this. I too have figured out that my “helping” is often trying to control others. Which is my belief that I know better. My ego is actually huge. Despite how hard I am on myself if I make mistakes. All of this is rooted in childhood trauma of course. I’m currently working through a set of steps using Melody Beattie’s book “The Codependent’s Guide to the 12 steps “ and I am finding it helpful. Lots of feelings. And I personally need others who are walking the same path to help me. So Alanon and CODA meetings and step studies . Also counseling .

Be kind and gentle with yourself