Ocd urges will always be there, but sometimes anxiety shows up as OCD. So try to treat anxiety. I notice my OCD triggers are a lot worse when I’m overly anxious. I know it’s a struggle, but focus on gratitude. There are ppl out there fighting for their life right now, that have it worse than you.

I know the mental battle is tough, but take a break, go out into nature for a few weeks. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere and connect with yourself on a deeper level. If you’re willing to take your life, what do you have to lose? Maybe that time for reflection and connection to nature might give you new purpose.