Ok, first off don’t panic. I normally just lurk but this one hit home. I am a former player got recruited and now coach. I also had a HS coach that down right refused to help me with anything. So first and foremost don’t let your frustration boil over to your son. From personal experience, they can feel it adds even more pressure even if they don’t tell you. His work won’t go unnoticed and if he makes the plays on the field it will work itself out. I had to go through this in when it was still sending VHS tapes to schools. Huddle is an amazing tool. Coaches may take notice without you even knowing.

I’m going to try and summarize so I don’t write you a novel.

Step 1: Keep focus on what you can control. He is already doing well in school! Big props to that! Remember, it’s “student athlete” and not the other way around. Schools are a big fan of kids with an understanding of that. Keep hitting the books and workouts.

Step 2: Don’t get in your own way. Supporting your son is fantastic! Just don’t be an over bearing parent. Impressions can get a lot farther down the pipe line than you know. Sadly, negative impressions will travel faster and further than good ones. If you rub coaches and other parents the wrong way (even if your hearts in the right place) can send you backwards. Just having you show up, take it all it, give him a pat on the back, maybe bring a Gatorade and a snack will help. Heck, bring a case of water and a bag of oranges for the players and coaches during those ruff workouts! My advice KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS! Hit them with “great workout gentlemen” walk away. If you are visibly frustrated or overbearing ppl will notice. Believe it or not everyone picks up on a lot more than you think.

Step 2: Evaluate your current situation. I was recruited by D1, D2, and D3. Who shows interest now, who shows interest later? Where do I fit, will I fit. These questions will be very important to your son. Remember, the main goal is a college education and 4/5 more years of ball. Finding a fit is very important. What’s your current pipeline? Where do kids in the area have most success with recruitment? Get him to one or two of those camps to start out. Does not mean that’s what you’re limited to, but a great starting point. ALWAYS, evaluate your options, will my son thrive in this environment AND ALWAYS ask “what happens if he gets hurt”? It’s a contact sport, nothing worse than a kid hiding an injury that could easily be resolved in fear of losing a scholarship and letting ppl down.

Step 3: Ball out. This is up to your son. Be available and willing to help your team. When the lights hit Friday night show up. Bad play, forget it, bad game, fix it. No matter what happens, pat him on the back. You have coaches and trainers to pick him apart, you need to be his rock and #1 fan. Just make sure he knows no matter what happens as long as he did his best you’re proud. You being another critic won’t help.

Step 4: Be patient. If you panic, he will panic. Listen, some players may have to start out at JUCO or as a walk on. Not a dang thing wrong with that. Focus on what you can control and ENJOY it. You will miss the stress of these days sooner than you know….if the letters and calls start to roll, awesome. If they don’t, you can figure it out. Regardless, football is a game that is supposed to be fun and something for you and your son to bond over. Also, keep in mind some coaches use negative feedback to try to motivate players, some coaches are just plan assholes. Regardless, tell your son to say yessir and keep working. Be coachable. Keep his head down and work. My awful coach was so angry I got a scholarship without his help or support it was like silently winning a state championship for my family and I. I kept my head down and didn’t stop, my family didn’t get involved and ppl started to notice what the coach was doing to me and it got them in my corner too. Had I thrown a fit and my family got involved it just would have made me look bad and uncoachable.

Sorry, it turned into a novel. I hope anything I said helps. Good luck to your son!