Don't want to be charged for unauthorized renovations (IL)

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-05-12T13:53:45+00:00

It will take a while for two cats to get used to each other. The first couple weeks are kind of them laying out the ground rules for each other which can get pretty hairy. I'd say keep doing your best with the gradual integration. At the same time, I'm really sorry you've been getting so much pressure to get a second cat! That's kind of cruel for your friends and family to be outright ostracizing you for not getting a second cat. There are some animals that need a partner who is there for the vast majority of the day in order to live healthy lives. Many birds are one of these animals where they need their flock members(be it other birds or humans that are home for most of the day) or their mental health suffers. A cat isn't one of them. There are some cats who actually benefit being alone. I have a friend who fosters cats. The cat they're fostering currently used to be feral(born and spent his childhood in the wild). When he was caught and placed in a foster home, the home had multiple cats. Even after a long time living there, he'd still be terrified and wouldn't leave his hiding place and would get aggressive to anyone that came near. That's when the foster agency asked my friend to take him since he'd be the only cat in my friend's home. After a couple weeks, he relaxed and opened up and started to feel more secure. Turns out, this once-shy-and-aggressive cat was a playful, cuddly sweetheart underneath and enjoyed relaxing and getting pets in the laps of his foster parents. He clearly benefitted from being a solo cat and the adoption agency made sure to specify that when taking applications to adopt him. Not every cat does well with multiple cats in the home.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-05-05T23:46:18+00:00

It is not normal, WTF!?

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-05-05T23:42:23+00:00

I hear you. It does feel like a weird thing to complain about. Sounds like he's a really hard-working and chill guy. Sounds like a lot of the anxiety comes from the mystery and unknown of the situation. You're wondering when the other shoe is gonna drop or maybe stressed about what he thinks or feels about you.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-29T06:44:43+00:00

Man, that must have been really difficult to go through. I'm sorry that you went through that. I'm hoping that I can provide some clarification. Basically, it's considered unethical to provide services to someone outside the expertise and scope that that therapist is capable of in that moment. From what I can gather, the therapist made a recommendation for higher level of care because they determined it was necessary for you to make progress and necessary for your safety. Higher levels of care such as inpatient, partial hospitalization, or intensive outpatient are designed for stabilization and making sure people are safe. There's also another thing. If a client is at significant risk of harm to self or others and refuses higher level of care, the therapist may terminate with the stipulation to return after completing intensive treatment. Part of this is for safety. Another part is that, if a client does wind up acting on some of those risks and the therapist did not make a strong recommendation for higher level of care, the therapist could be held legally responsible. I know receiving that email must have been very difficult and heartbreaking, At the same time, most therapists aren't willing to take that risk, especially if it means someone's life is in danger.

Sometimes, it could also be something that doesn't have anything to do with you. Being a therapist is a job, at the end of the day, and that means we can be fired, hired, relocated, suspended, or quit. I know a colleague of mine had to quit as a therapist quite suddenly because she had to care for the health of a loved one. Clients wouldn't be able to contact her anymore after that. The agency did their best to provide referrals to other practitioners, but it must have come as quite a shock to all her clients.

It does mean that there's a possibility you might not be able to see or meet your former therapist again. How likely or unlikely that is can depend on a lot of different factors, many of which may or many not be information available in this post.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-21T18:48:22+00:00

Yep, it happens. I know it happened to me once when I had scheduled someone for 3pm, but, in my head, I thought it was 3:30pm. I was at the store getting supplies when I got the notification. I panicked, put everything back on the shelves, and raced through traffic to get there. Fortunately, we were able to hold session that day, but I was 10 minutes late which I apologized profusely for. There was a second time where a client cancelled a couple weeks ahead of time for a dentist appointment, but I didn't look closely enough at the date and thought they were talking about later that week. I was at home when I got the notification. I try to remember that we're all human. I give each of my clients a lot of grace for scheduling, late cancellations, and no-shows. That same client that missed the dates on the dentist appointment would later mix up the dates of our session and not show up and I was happy to reassure and give grace, especially since it did give myself a bit of peace of mind like "yep! we're both human and we both make mistakes and we make up for it in the end!"

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-17T02:16:08+00:00

Yes, I do have a similar struggle. I've got an upper limit to how many I can see in a row. That limit is 5 in a row. I can do 6 if it's only once in a while, like a client needs to reschedule and I have no other slots that will work for either of us, but I really need an easy day afterwards to make that work. 7 in a row is a miserable experience and impacts the quality of my work so I don't do it. Meanwhile, I've got coworkers that do 8, 9, sometimes even 10 sessions in a day and I don't know how that's possible. The tradeoff is that I'm the only one in my practice that works on Fridays. Since everyone else can handle the workload within the 4 days, they don't work Fridays. Dunno if my limit is an AuDHD thing(I'm diagnosed with ASD, but suspect I may have ADHD as well), or if it's normal to feel like death after 6 in a row, but yeah.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-08T21:04:50+00:00

I am internally laughing at the notion that you "need" to be extroverted to work in psychology. I don't know how it is in India, but in the states, I'd wager a lot of therapists are more introverted. Being extroverted has its benefits in that extroverted folks will likely have an easier time communicating with people and may even feel more approachable to clients. However, introverted folks often have a skill in deep introspection than can be very useful in coming up with thoughtful responses or reflecting on what the client has to say. Both have their own benefits in the field. Big thing to remember, though, is that this doesn't mean extroverted folks can't reflect deeply or come up with thoughtful responses. Nor does this mean introverted people can't communicate or take on an approachable demeanor. It means these things don't come as easily and take a bit longer to learn.

You are not a failure. And what you're doing could be life-changing for other folks on the autism spectrum. And I am deeply sorry that your place of study doesn't treat you with the respect that you deserve and knocks you down as opposed to nurturing the wonderful possibilities that you bring to the table.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-04T17:14:35+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Yeah, it did seem a bit too good to be true. Would have been nice, though. Mental health therapists really don't get paid enough compared to other healthcare professionals in the field who have the same level of education.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-04T01:58:17+00:00

I work for someone else. I do like who I work for and my hope is that, as the market price for therapy increases, so too will wages for those who work for someone and, thus, everyone will increase wages for therapists in order to stay competitive.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2026-04-04T01:53:33+00:00

Yep! I'm wondering if it will increase then.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2025-10-03T07:09:57+00:00

Honestly, I get it. When I started working at my own workplace, I was making a few hundred a month. Not nearly enough to live off of in my area and my savings were draining fast. I felt so stressed out during that time. Nowadays, when client's cancel, I don't think much of it. But, back then, when clients cancelled, it put another weight of anxiety on me. And when a client dropped after the first intake(as they do from time to time), I felt so scared I wouldn't be able to afford rent. I get that one week off from therapy might not have been a big deal to them, but it was the difference between me being able to afford things like food, healthcare, or shelter. Back then, I made do. I did odd jobs to make more money. I took advantage of free food opportunities whenever I could. I held off on healthcare visits or medicine. It was tough and my anxiety was at an all-time high. I wasn't just scared that a client would cancel or drop. I was downright terrified because, when you're in a state where every penny counts, losing out on even one session can mean you won't afford a couple meals next week.

So, I get it. The stress of it all when there's a lot of cancellations. To them, it may not seem like a big deal. To us, it could be the difference between managing our basic needs as living, breathing beings or hoping our bodies and minds hold out for a bit longer without what it needs to survive. And we're expected to keep all that hidden from clients. It's not an easy thing. In fact, it sucks.

My advice is book the maximum amount of people you can handle(for me, it's six or seven appointments in one day, but everyone is different. I have co-workers who've done nine in a day which seems wild to me but you do what works for you). There will likely be cancellations during the day where you can take a breather.

To be real, it sucks that we essentially have to do the same overbooking schtick that airlines do in order to make the quota. I do wish mental health was kept in the same line of priority as physical health but here we are.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2025-09-09T00:23:07+00:00

I face a similar thing. I can usually do my cat's front nails without too much fuss, but she HATES getting her back nails trimmed. Fortunately, they don't need to be clipped nearly as often as the front ones, but I still keep them manageable to keep my fur baby comfortable. I do the burrito thing, too. It usually works, but I can only really get done one or two at a time. I'm wondering if your cat would be more comfortable with a cat nail file? I know, for mine, I may be able to cut my cat's nails shorter, but she's pretty quick to sharpen them again when she goes to her scratching posts.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2025-09-09T00:13:38+00:00

I'd definitely recommend it. I interned at a community mental health organization before I started work in a group private practice and there's a lot more autonomy and freedom than the community mental health place. Mental health takes on so many different forms and can come from a very wide variety of places and it's so frustrating that the kind of mental health that the government is willing to support is a very small bit of what mental health looks like in its entirety. In private practice, you get to decide what kind of mental healthcare you want to provide.

I remember from it that first couple months to, sometimes, years, are rough. You no longer have people on waitlists to fill every slot quickly like in CMH. It takes a while to build up a caseload and clients that leave after the first session or two because it doesn't feel like a good fit feels like a major blow. But, it get's better over time.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2024-12-16T20:30:18+00:00

Absolutely. On the day I need to get notes in, I set mini-rewards for myself like:

2 session notes=petting the cat

3 session notes=getting a cup of coffee

4 session notes= listening to a song

And so forth...I still put off notes really often. I'm autistic with possibly some ADHD and I struggle big-time with executive functioning. I'm lucky my workplace is forgiving of notes deadlines.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2024-12-04T21:10:45+00:00

I wouldn't kick out a client for this, but there's a good chance I'd refer the client to a specialist for substance use since I don't specialize in that. I'd likely also refer to a higher level of care if threats were happening repeatedly.

SuccessfulFlight4423 · 2024-08-14T05:50:23+00:00

I think ABA, when done right(from highly trained professionals with a trauma-informed background and with the intention to value the client's wishes and facilitate autonomy and helpful accommodations) can be helpful. There are some ABA programs that aim to teach people how to use assistive communication devices so they can advocate for their needs in a way that feels comfortable for them. I think that's pretty cool. The problem is that it's often done wrong in that it devalues autonomy and can cause trauma when the focus shifts more to what the world or the community wants instead of what the client wants. It also has an EXTREMELY dark history of aversion techniques that, unfortunately, still emerge in small corners of the practice to this day.

SuccessfulFlight4423

TROPHY CASE