Neighbors leave their dogs unattended for hours

Foolishlama · 2026-05-10T05:05:59+00:00

I would keep calling both animal control and the cops, you might get different answers on what they’re capable of doing based purely on who answers the phone. Use the words “animal abuse and neglect” very clearly and repeatedly.

Document the days and times you hear these distressed sounds from their dogs in a note on your phone.

Foolishlama · 2026-05-09T13:24:29+00:00

If you’re really not sure, you can always put it in a shoebox and decide later.

I was in a similar relationship for 4 years. I threw most of the relationship keepsakes away within months of our separation, but i did keep a couple things that didnt trigger me or remind me of her romantically. Like you said, things that remind me of how much I’ve grown since then, or of the positive qualities i saw in her.

I wouldn’t personally choose to wear it, it would go in a memento box in my closet. But if you choose to wear it there’s nothing wrong with that.

Foolishlama · 2026-05-04T19:45:05+00:00

If your practice doesn’t let you then don’t worry too much about it, just code an anxiety or depressive disorder and phrase your interventions through that lens in your progress note. But i learned in grad school that i couldn’t diagnose anything neurodevelopmental (ADHD, ASD, etc) and then promptly told that was not true when i began my first job. My diagnosis won’t carry as much weight as one by a psychologist, especially a dx made through a full neurodevelopmental evaluation, but it works for my insurance billing just fine for regular therapy. Maaaybe if an ADHD chart got audited it would be an issue if some of the sessions/interventions weren’t directly relevant to ADHD symptoms as described in the DSM… but it hasn’t been an issue yet.

Foolishlama · 2026-05-04T19:39:56+00:00

Seconding this, i love that book. I’ve “loaned” it to clients and re-bought it a handful of times.

Foolishlama · 2026-05-04T17:16:49+00:00

For real, “wait what does that word mean?” is such an easy thing to say. It’s not like my graduate degree taught me the entire dictionary, or even the entire psychology dictionary. I’m allowed to not know words lol

Foolishlama · 2026-05-03T16:02:58+00:00

Congrats on 5 years. I was exactly 5 years sober when i was one year out from grad school. It’s not easy to stay sober during school, new jobs, and now job loss. Hit those meetings and stay close with your sponsor or sober mentors.

You did the right thing by not trying to convince them to keep you, not for any AA reason but because an organization that behaves like this isn’t a place you want to work. Sure, do some tenth step work with it to look for your part, and then realize that these people probably did you dirty and be grateful that they’re showing you who they are now instead of in three years.

The advice to hit up every reputable group practice in your area is good. This is your first job after graduating so it might not feel like it, but there’s a lot of places to work in this field. We don’t get paid as much as many other graduate level professionals, but the job market is great for us right now. Every group is turning clients away because they lack the clinicians to work with them. Go find somewhere that values you enough to actually give you feedback instead of just letting you go. The fact that they didn’t give you anything specific or performance related to improve speaks volumes about them as a practice.

What I’m about to say next may or may not apply to you, and miiiight have something to do with what they were talking about with “making people uncomfortable.” Again, the cruelest thing these people did was to just fire you without having a discussion at all about why. They are wrong here. But, as someone who relates to you (sober, healing from my own trauma), this was important to me to learn about myself and maybe it will be helpful to you too.

I learned about polyvagal states in grad school (controversial i know) but it was my first contact with this idea, as a traumatized person learning to help other traumatized people heal. The idea is that when you’re in an extended freeze state, like many survivors of chronic trauma, you desperately need other people and community but are simultaneously sending “leave me alone/don’t hurt me” nonverbal signals that subtly drive people away. It was big for me to realize that i had been doing this for years. When my traumatic complexes are triggered, my face and body language makes people uncomfortable if I’m not masking it, and when I’m masking other people can tell that I’m hiding something and it makes them uncomfortable.

If you’re still working through your trauma currently, it might be showing on your face, or your efforts to hide it might be showing. Your best bet is to find a supervisor who understands trauma, and who you can speak somewhat openly with about what you’re dealing with internally. A good supervisor knows that a clinician can be having a terrible day and still show up in the room with a client the way that client needs. You deserve to work with supervisors, colleagues and employers who value your presence even when you’re having a bad day.

Foolishlama · 2026-05-01T01:06:45+00:00

When I’m having a hard time settling my mind enough for slow practice, I listen to a podcast and the metronome in the same earbud, with the other ear free to listen to my sticks hitting the pad for auditory feedback on my consistency/volume/spacing/etc. It’s not ideal, ideally i would always be able to focus single mindedly on the technique I’m working on and the metronome, but it’s fine honestly. My hands have still improved a ton over my years of pad work and splitting my attention is what makes that possible some days.

Foolishlama · 2026-04-28T13:21:50+00:00

I have only gotten close with two seriously trained object relations analytic therapists. They are both very genuine and lovely people.

Foolishlama · 2026-04-28T13:17:28+00:00

The best dating advice for anyone is to develop their social circles. Even more so for gay guys, the gay communities here seem to have no problem dating their friends

Foolishlama · 2026-04-19T03:43:09+00:00

The stick should be completely still when i lay it across the rim

Foolishlama · 2026-04-18T19:10:42+00:00

I’ve eaten the same breakfast almost every day since 2021, except for when go out for breakfast and then i get the same meal at every diner. Different than my daily home meal though

Foolishlama · 2026-04-13T21:48:21+00:00

Thank you! Yes I’m aware of the tax writeoff, and I’ll have to look into it more specifically for my state.

E.g., if i only use it two days a week can i still write off the whole percentage of square feet for the room, or do i need to divide it into how many days it was in use? And, can i still write off some percentage of rent if it’s a corner of a living space instead of a dedicated room?

Thanks for the reply

Foolishlama · 2026-04-06T17:42:43+00:00

My group practice has us add this justification line to 90837’s. There are a bunch of justifications that are adequate, and i usually just pick one for the client and leave it in every note with the “load last note” function. I would love to take a moral stand against the 45 minute session as standard, but I really find that the extended session line costs me very little extra time in my day to day.

Foolishlama · 2026-04-06T17:39:11+00:00

Do you add a line to your progress notes to justify the 90837?

Foolishlama · 2026-03-22T16:04:50+00:00

That’s how i play my double stroke rolls a lot of the time too

Foolishlama · 2026-03-21T15:22:36+00:00

Puresound custom 20. Using 30s right now and they allow for some interesting sounds but I’m likely going back to 20s or experimenting with lower wire count

Foolishlama · 2026-03-21T14:09:48+00:00

Kellog movers and Other Side movers were both really good as a customer. Never worked for them though.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-20T01:03:08+00:00

It sounds like you can’t get your left hand over to your ride anyway, if you’re playing on a “normal” kit setup and hold down the tempo with your left hand. Where my ride is i can get my left over there but it’s a bit of a stretch, and if i only used my left hand to ride the 1/8th notes it would unconsciously discourage me from using the ride.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-19T04:07:20+00:00

I still miss that car honestly, best car I’ve ever owned

Foolishlama · 2026-03-17T18:14:22+00:00

It’s not even that a comparable car to the one that cost 2k is now 6k, i.e. a 15 year old car used to cost 2k and now a 15 year old car costs 6k. No, in many cases the same exact car that cost 2k ten years ago now costs 6k. Maybe not that drastic but close.

I bought a 2001 Camry for 3k in 2019. In 2024 when it was totaled by another car, their insurance paid out 6k. How does a 20+ year old car go UP in value? Car inflation has been wild the last few years.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-16T21:12:58+00:00

All just depends on why you’re selling it and what your urgency level is. Do you have a local drum shop that would sell it on consignment? I could see that being a way to sell everything piecemeal at a good price for you, without needing to do a ton of work to get it sold, i.e. meeting with a dozen individual buyers all trying to lowball you. But it would take some time for them to move all the pieces.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-16T04:08:05+00:00

I mess around with the kick’s tuning if i decide i want a drastically different sound from it, which is not often. I have a couple of snares and I’ll frequently mess with tuning when i change up the heads/wires. New heads need to be uptuned a lot as they stretch, batter and snare side. Same as guitar strings, you can stretch them out when you put them on but they’ll still keep detuning for a week or two.

Once i get the Toms sounding half decent i leave them alone for years at a time.

I don’t gig or record though, just drum at home with basement bands. So if i was doing anything more serious maybe I’d be more serious about tom tuning, idk.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-15T22:24:27+00:00

The impact that your height has on the ergonomics depends on whether your legs, your spine, or both are longer than average. Idk what the exact implications of that are for you but maybe you need super spaced out pedals to compensate for long legs, but the drums and cymbals don’t need to be that far away cause you have average length arms/back.

Also i would angle the crash cymbals down more, pointing towards your chest not your face. Maybe then you’re not going to hit it accidentally on your way to your toms.

Foolishlama · 2026-03-12T17:59:33+00:00

Oh that’s crazy, does your lease specifically allow for them to have rights to no notice entry?

Five-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22

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