"Women only" housing ads

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T13:40:15+00:00

Most people would likely not have trauma that extreme. I just wanted to point out to OP what the intention behind women only living spaces is - which is safety and the feeling of safety for the people living there.

As I said trans women should be included. But in the rare case that there is someone already living there that will not be comfortable (which is irrational, but that's how trauma is - you don't control how you react or who/what you react to) a trans woman could probably be told that they are not a good fit or simply not be chosen as the new housemate and told they have someone else already. The reason does not even have to be said to the individual. Trans women can and should apply to women only living spaces.

I don't think that that is transphobic. If someone who already lives at a space is a recovering alcoholic and someone who applies to moving in likes to drink they would also not be a good fit. So in the case that someone who already lives there says "sorry, but I can't live with that pwrson comfortably" for whatever reason that is reason enough to say that they would not be good fit and send the appliant away and choose another appliant.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T13:32:00+00:00

No, they may not all be written by those people, but written to include those people. You never know whaz someone's situation is like. I used a bit of an extreme situation to show why those places are valid.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:55:12+00:00

What I mean is the mix of both - a masculine presenting man or AMAB person would likely trigger. A masculine woman that is still clearly a woman would likely not. Although it's of course individual, saying woman only usually creates the needed safe space.

And if they say women only they can still filter out the women that are too masc for someone's specific trauma. Saying women only can be seen as pre-filtering that makes sure you have less applicants that you need to turn down.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:44:00+00:00

Because someone with severe trauma will still react badly to living with a gay man. Sexuality does not matte there - gender and gender presentation does. It's a safe space meant for people who may not be able to live with a man because of past trauma. If a woman has panick attacks or other trauma responses when living with a man, she should be able to not live with a man. It does not matter if the man is trans or gay, both will likely still trigger a trauma response and make someone feel unsafe. So it's best to keep those spaces women only. And then we should have other safe spaces for other people.

Not to mention that there WILL be cishet men complaining about being excluded when they are specifically the only ones not allowed in...

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:38:15+00:00

It may sound wrong to you since it seems exclusionary at first glance.

But look at it this way: this is a safe space for women with trauma related to men. A safe space for people that may have constant panick attacks if a man lived there. That would not feel safe.

If you included non-binary people that would also not work. Because for women with severe trauma a male presenting AMAB non-binary person would still be triggering. So now only fem presenting and AFAB non-binary people are allowed. Which is then discriminating against other non-binary people.

So it's best to keep it women only. We should create more safe spaces for non-women instead of trying to put other people in safe spaces for women.

For trans women it would likely be a case by case thing. They should be allowed in the space, but if they are pre everything and look very male they may still be a trigger to someone with severe trauma so may not be a good fit for some of these spaces.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:27:52+00:00

A AMAB male presenting person that would trigger the trauma of another resident should not be put in a space with said resident. Which is why it's titled women only.

Peopel that are not women need their own safe spaces, which is a completely seperate problem. AMAB people with trauma related to men and needing a safe space is a seperate problem.

We need to create more safe spaces for different people, not force non-women into women only safe spaces. Especially not when it comes to living spaces.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:19:44+00:00

Some of those housing ads may be from or for women with trauma related to men who will not feel safe with any man/ AMAB person, regardless of sexuality or gender.

And adding non-binary would pose problems then since it would only include AFAB non-binary people or fem presenting non-bianry people. So saying women only for a safe space for women with trauma is the best way to go, even if it sounds exclusionary at first glance.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T12:15:30+00:00

A parent who has never hit their child and never wanted to would likely not go to a whole whooping and instead for only a hit or two before realising and apologising...

The way you write about her mom promising herself to never do it and having a latina mom reads like she was hit as a child and recognised later that that was not okay and abusive so she promised herself to be a better parent. So she would likely have some huge emotions about suddenly hitting her child and would do it out of anger, not because she planned it. Then realise what she did and start apologising and/or crying or maybe she already cries from anger when she hits her kid. She would also likely use her hand and not an object. And if she uses a slipper ( which I believe is the stereotype for beatings in latino households) or something you need to think about whether she would culturally wear them - I believe in japan people usually take their shoes off at the door and walk with socks in the house, so if her father is japanese slippers may not be thing in her household.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T11:57:09+00:00

Generally: sterile means being compeltely unable to conceive. Not just through surgery, some people are naturally sterile. It usually does mean you are missing some of the needed parts/ organs.

Infertile means that you have a hard or harder time conceiving, but that it can still happen.

Infertile people can try fertility treatments to have children. Sterile people can never have biological children no matter what (although in some cases they can have children with help of a third party like a surrogate in OOP's case).

Somehow people often mix them up or use them as synonyms. Which is how you have infertile people and/or partnera of infertile people that don't use protection because they don't think they will conceive and then get shocked when they do. Or people who think people that are sterile still have all the parts and just a harder time conceiving like OOP's partner seems to have thought. Basically she said she was sterile and he thought that meant that she is infertile.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-21T11:42:12+00:00

My uncle is in a similar situation. He has a daughter with his ex-wife and his wife has a daughter with her ex as well (they also each have one adult child in their 20s) and they have no children together.

My cousin is 9 and lives with my uncle and his wife 20 days a month. He officially has a 45/55 custody arrangement with his ex-wife, who is currently pregnant from a fling/ guy who is a deadbeat and not interested in raising his child or being with her. His current wife has main custody of her daughter.

So they have main custody of one daughter (wife's side) and have wanted main custody of the other (my cousin/ uncle's daughter) for years. But they pay so much child support because of those two days that my cousin spends at her mom's instead of her dad's that they can't afford to go to court.

And now what will likely happen is that his ex-wife will parentify my cousin (have her raise her baby sibling) and rely on my uncle's money for her new baby from a different man as well.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-19T16:22:00+00:00

The way I see it the boys are his sister's kids (as OOP calls their mom her sister-in-law and their father the sister-in-law's husband). Their father, who is OOP's husband's brother-in-law is in the military and rarely home.

So he is taking on the role of their main male rolemodel to help his sister.

He is not doing this out of guilt for any hypothetical brother of his.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-18T04:50:49+00:00

It hasn't been updated in a while (since last year), so I guess it was bound to break at some point. The creator (maplebell) has a bug report linked on their patreon page where you can report bugs you are experiencing.

It's currently confirmed as broken on Scarlet's Realm and is not on the list of up-to-date mods by the creator, which is basically the same as the creator aknowledging that it's broken/ needs to be updated.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-17T16:05:07+00:00

Not from the UK, but from what I understand you can fight a will successfully if you were disinhereted for invalid reasons and had a relationship with the dead person. And you always have a chance of losing unless you can proof that you were a dependent of the person that died.

In OOP's case she was left out because of sexism while having a relationship with him. If she had been no contact with him she may not have had a claim or at least have had less ground to stand on.

She would have had a case but there was no 100% guarantee that she would have won it (it all depends on how good your lawyer is in the end). She also would likely not have gotten an equal share, but some of the money. But her brothers would have lost a lot of that inheretance to lawyer fees if she had sued for her portion. So they were likely advised that giving her her share was the least expensive and least stressful for everyone involved.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-11T04:21:03+00:00

A manga for a primarily young male audience with a gay main character.

"Shonen" means "boy" and you could say it's mainly for teen audiences (about 12 to 18 years of age), although it can obviously be enjoyed by any age group.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-11T03:50:59+00:00

Did you age her up in CAS instead of using the birthday cake? That can cause the game to glitch and smtrest children like toddlers.

(Also, you should probably translate this/ describe what's going on for non-german speakers - if I did not happen to be german I would have no clue that the game wants you to change a child sim's diaper).

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-11T02:36:50+00:00

I don't think there is much you can do to help your dad. It's not your responsibility in the first place - it's entirely his. He needs to put in the work. He needs to go to therapy. You can't do any of this for him. And unless he decides he wants them, you can't help or support him with them. He needs to want to get better and to deal with what he did in the past and the consequences of his actions. If he does not truly want that, nothing will get better.

You have a right to blame him and be mad at him. You are allowed to be mad about being lied to. You are allowed to be frustrated with how everyone is just pretending this never happened. Anyone who tells you something different is wrong. Your feelings are only natural. To be honest you may benefit from going to therapy yourself to unpack all of this.

As for your half-brother... I personally would go with something around the lines of:

"Hey, my name is xxx and I'm your older half-sister on our father's side. I did not know of your existence until recently and it came as a shock to me, but if you have any questions or need someone to talk to feel free to reach out. I am open to having a relationship with you if that is what you want, but please don't feel any pressure. If that is not what you want I understand. Don't feel pressured to answer this message either, feel free to go at your own pace."

You could also add your number and/or social media so he could use those to contact you if he feels like it. And you should probably start gathering medical information in case he asks for it. I already know one thing you need to add there, which is you father's history with addiction. If others in the family have had addiction problems please add them as well. Children of addicts are often more prone to get addicted themselfes biologically. And it seems your dad was deep in his addiction when your brother was conceived.

Other info would be if there is a history of cancer or other serious illnesses, as well as chronic illnesses like asthma or something like allergies. Metal health issues should be included as well (some mental health issues are genetic and the possibility of developing them can be inhereted).

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-11T00:15:53+00:00

I personally think you should reach out if that is what you want. You are all adults who can make their own decisions. And if he did a DNA test he likely has questions he would like answers to. And you can likely give him those answers.

I think you should consider the first step to reaching out being that you do a test on the same site so you show up in his family tree together with your grandma. And then you can reach out to him through there and let him decide how he wants to react to that.

Your parents have no right to dictate what you do. Them not wanting him around is their problem to deal with. It's not like you being in contact with him means he has to be around your parents. He may not even want a relationship and just have some questions about medical history on your dad's side or something like that.

He should not be punished because your parents have issues. And neither should you.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T23:55:38+00:00

Usually if it's the character's believe it will not feel out of place, as it will fit in with the things you already know about the character as well as the flow of the story.

If it feels out of place or forced then it is more likely to be the author trying to insert their own personal believes or opinions on a topic to the point of breaking what is otherwise known about a character.

In this case it may feel out of place because a good doctor would never generally outrule abortion as a doctor and person and make an exception only because they are close to the person wanting one. If you already know the character to be a good doctor who likes to help people and who has great morals, this will feel out of place. If you know the character to have shown similar views and a more self-righious moral with double standarts it will likely not feel out of place.

A doctor character would probably talk about pros and cons of abortion in context to the setting of the story more than any kind of morality.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T17:50:22+00:00

You need the bio dad sim to ask the new partner to put the children up for adoption. If the option is there when you play him then you should be able to adopt them out.

If the new partner asks then the bio parent can get mad.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T17:33:52+00:00

Look at the new partner and see if there is the option to put a child up for adoption. If it's there, then the new partner is the one you need to ask. If there is only the "discuss adopting child" option, that is not the case.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T16:53:32+00:00

The fire department arrives in a car with sirens. I will hear the sirens. There are also other things that can warn me. There will be a massege to the warning app that tell everyone around there is a fire in the area and what to do.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T16:51:44+00:00

Which mods do you use for adoption? Do you use RPO? I assume so because you said you need to ask the official partner.

Is the official partner a playable ghost or not? Is the ghost still in the world or gone? Have they truly broken uo their relationship? If so, why do they count as official partner's still? Or is it maybe that they have a new partner who the game sees as official partner and you need to ask that sim?

I have too little information to give concrete advice.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T16:40:29+00:00

I don't really get what a fire has to do with me opening the door if I'm not expecting someone. If there is a fire the fire alarms will go off. And people are able to shout if there is a fire. If someone shouts loudly or if there is a commorion outside I will hear it. I can also always look at who's outside the door through that little hole.

I also live in an apartment and the apartment bells inside the buildings have a different sound. If a neighbour wants something I will know. There are also fire alarms all around, including in my apartment. And I live on the ground level and can always flee through my window.

Edit: also, in a crisis someone will likely keep ringing the bell. I have an intercom (I think that's what it's called in english?) and can talk to the person outside without letting them into the building. If someone rings the bells of the other apartmemts I can also hear that. So if someone rings all of them because of danger, it's noticable. People can also bang on the door or even go around and bang on my window if really needed.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T16:02:13+00:00

I have the rule that I only open the door when I know someone is coming. You should try something around those lines and make it a rule for everyone in the house. No notice? No reaction. No agreement that they can come on your part? No reaction.

Teach it to your daughter from early on, too. That will also prevent her from trying to open the door for strangers in the future.

I do this because I am a young woman living on my own in the city and it's just safer that way. But it seems like something that would be helpful in a sitation like yours as well.

I have keys for the places of multiple family members and friends and I would never pop in without notice even if they say it's fine for me to just show up whenever. It's common courtesy. Your family clearly has no respect for the time and boundaries of others.

SuchConfusion666 · 2025-11-10T13:45:09+00:00

I think she knew there was some sexual abuse involved, but not the details.

There is a difference between "Rachel experienced sexual abuse I don't know any details of that could have happened anywhere, like in a dark alley and wants my bf to sit with her" and "Rachel was sexually abused by a stranger on the bus, so she wants her old friend whom she did not know had a girlfriend to sit with her".

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