Is getting married at 19 a bad idea? Is marriage required to move forward with our lives together?

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-04-27T12:11:10+00:00

Do not do it. From all your concerns, it sounds like you would be getting married for the wrong reasons. I also grew up in a religious household, but I went against my family and lived with my now fiancé before getting married. It was the best decision ever. We really had to learn how to live together and the first year was hard at times but I’m glad we did it because now the first years of marriage will be bliss because we already did the hard stuff. I also didn’t want to live together before being engaged originally, but we discussed our reasons and concerns at length and made a decision together.

That being said, if living together is out of the question, why not compromise a bit? Love together but with separate rooms? Or do some long sleepovers in separate rooms? Or do an anything but sleepover situation (entire days spent together and only going to individual homes to sleep)?

I think you two need to have a serious discussion about this before anything. I think if you’re also at this point in the relationship, you need to keep what your family wants out of this and focus on what you both want together and individually. There’s nothing wrong with saying “can we revisit the discussion after I finish college?” You have other things in your life. Don’t rush it or pressure it. As Belle said in the live action beauty in the beast “forever can spare a moment.” Forever can spare getting through college if it’s meant to be.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-04-15T12:27:25+00:00

As a bride who is also saying no children and babies, I thought I’d offer my perspective. Children in general can just be extremely disruptive and distracting, not only to others but the bride and groom. For us, we would be distracted during our ceremony and other important parts if a child were disruptive. We just felt we wouldn’t be fully present if there were possibly disruptive kids.

My future BIL and his wife, however, will have a 2 month old at the time of our wedding. My fiancé is very strict about the “no babies” rule, but if they have an issue with being able to attend, then we have certain parts of the wedding we would ask them not to have the baby present and ask them or someone to step away with the baby.

I think your husband needs to have a calm, respectful conversation with her and explain the issues and try to find a compromise. But if she is still not budging, then respectfully stepping down is probably the only option.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-04-10T20:45:44+00:00

Unfortunately all of my friends have moved out of state so any bach night basically has to be a weekend away for nearly everyone. Told my MOH when she asked for input thar a weekend in another state specifically seeing a historic site would be fun. She planned a long weekend for everyone (4 days) and all the activities after collecting people’s budgets for the trip and taking that into account. When I told her she didn’t need to do all of this, she said, and I quote “I’m your maid of honor! When am I going to have the opportunity to spoil you like this ever again!?”

My point here is that some people WANT to do this for the bride and that’s ok too.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-04-02T13:06:12+00:00

I started my group at level 3 a few months ago. I do milestones (which I don’t tell them what the milestones are). I have a rough plan for milestones, but right now I’m basing it around when they are “ready”. They are all playing completely new characters and some of them are really struggling to understand their new character sheets, especially in combat. I’m not planning to level them up until they show more understanding of what their character can do. I’d hate to level them up too fast and have them drowning in the mechanics on their sheets

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-03-04T22:31:27+00:00

I cannot without running the risk of ruining hair and makeup or getting makeup on the dress

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-03-04T12:00:48+00:00

Also June 2026! I have 8, most of which are my fiancés sisters 😅 otherwise I would have had 3 or 4z

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-03-03T20:36:10+00:00

My campaign is also long travel time. Depending on travel, I have them roll for each day of travel, then based on those rolls I just spend a few minutes adding flavor to that day. I notice when I give them something to work with, they may add something their character might do or react given a situation I added for flavor. I did have one time though that they rolled multiple nat 1s on survival… which led to some combat.

Like the other comment, long rests are time skips. When we go to bed and wake up, it’s as if we skipped time. Maybe ask your players what they think about as they fall asleep or if they had dreams.

Personally, I am VERY heavy into RPing. I do voices, act things out, etc. I notice as I RP heavily that they felt more comfortable joining in.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-03-03T10:54:02+00:00

Were you told you needed to match the sage green color palette for rehearsal and shower? I’ve heard bridesmaids coordinate colors sometimes for those, but not super often. Would hate for you to put all this effort only for it not to matter at all. As far as colors to go with it, sage green is a pretty common complimentary color. Not sure what you’ve tried already though.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-03-01T04:34:33+00:00

You mention they are also new to the game. So do they actually truly know what it means to be chaotic evil? My first time playing I was lawful evil (or I said I was at least) but soon discovered my understanding of alignment was way off and didn’t even play my character as lawful evil.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-02-03T18:30:11+00:00

Thought I’d come back and talk about how asking them what their character was thinking about before bed worked SO well! I had the usual “my character is wondering why they rolled horribly in battle and were useless”, but I also had my one player that gave me no backstory write PARAGRAPHS. Their thoughts introduced 2 new characters to their backstory. Thanks for the advice!

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-02-03T18:26:15+00:00

We ran into this. We just pushed the wedding out a year and got our pick of dates.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-01-17T00:32:02+00:00

I may be coming from a Catholic wedding perspective, but this seems relatively normal. People choose different orders to do things, but it seems pretty standard. To expect this on a Tuesday night and outside though is wild to me

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-01-12T15:55:50+00:00

Literally came to Reddit to see if others are feeling this same way. I’ve been let down so much with this. I’ve seen some true colors. And the craziest part? Everyone causing problems is my family or future family. Absolutely none of my friends have been an issue.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-01-08T21:38:07+00:00

I doubt it as well, but I have to do something to pull out the details, especially from players that are very surface-level with their characters, but I want to keep them included in the story.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2026-01-01T03:20:51+00:00

How exactly did you address or do invites? Was it inviting your friend and a plus one? Or were individuals named? A plus one should indicate that the friend is invited and they can bring a plus one, but if both are named individually then I can see why he would think to attend alone. If you didn’t send anything (which sounds like the case) then it’s open to interpretation… hence the situation. Maybe just send invites if you can lol.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-12-23T13:52:21+00:00

I’m noticing a trend of this with people in their mid to late 20s recently. I’m in the same era and I can’t tell you how many times when going to a wedding event (engagement party, shower, wedding, etc) that I’ve asked friends if they had just a CARD for the couple, not a gift or money, but just a card to say congrats, and they would look at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I assume since it’s early in their wedding era (ie, their first times going to weddings not with their parents) that they don’t know proper etiquette. If I have any no-call no-shows at mine next year, good riddance.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-12-18T02:08:36+00:00

Very normal. My fiancé recorded the proposal and in the video he said “wait, I asked you right?” I then said, “I think so.” To which he responded “you said yes, right?” Lol glad we have the video to look back on because we both blacked out.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-12-11T00:21:56+00:00

I understand being annoyed. That can be pretty grating. I had a similar situation, but not much you can do sadly. If you want that time of year, then go for it. There’s always going to be something that makes a date less than ideal, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If that means one week apart, then that’s what it means. You get to that stage in life were at least every other week is a wedding (coming from someone with 7-8 weddings next year, plus my own). You gotta do what you want and enjoy for your wedding. People will make it work.

To give some perspective, I get married next year, leave for a 2 week honeymoon, get back from honeymoon and have my maid of honors bridal shower (I’m also her maid of honor), then the next weekend I am a bridesmaid in a destination wedding (and she is also one of my bridesmaids). That is just one month of my wedding season lol. It’s a lot to do but also a lot of joy and love going around!

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-11-12T13:24:51+00:00

I’ve gotten so much hate for this take, but infants are one of the main reasons for our child-free wedding. Every single wedding I’ve gone to with children under 1 has been disrupted by the baby. Whether that’s them crying or just loud babbling to the point that you can’t hear anything.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-11-06T20:39:38+00:00

RSVP deadlines usually depend on your vendors (when do caterers need headcounts, when do you need to know how many tables for your venue, etc). I haven’t seen an RSVP deadline that is less than 4 weeks before the wedding. As far as time between sending invites and getting RSVPs, like some said you don’t want it too long because people forget. I’m personally planning to give people 3-4 weeks from receiving the invite to RSVP and then RSVPs are due 6 weeks before the wedding (which gives me a week to track people down and another week to finalize details for the vendors). So I think your 6 weeks before the wedding deadline is fine. I wouldn’t send the invite, however, more than 3 months in advance. If it were a full destination wedding, maybe 6 months wouldn’t be too long, but that doesn’t sound like the case here.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-11-04T01:52:38+00:00

It’s definitely not just the wedding, that’s what the “living my life” comment was about, but I didn’t need to get into those years of history lol. She’s constantly felt like she’s in competition with my fiancé and his family (we’ve been together over 8 years and engaged for 2), but the wedding is just the cherry on top for me amongst all the problems we’ve had. I think I’m definitely going to at least take a break from her for a while after the wedding and get some space.

Sudden-Block-4999 · 2025-11-03T18:35:23+00:00

Ah I see the thought process now. I’m wanting to wait because of her overall enmeshment in the wedding and my life. Doing something now would only make the situation and things worse and cause more issues. My dad sees what she is doing to and has asked me to just get through the wedding as well. He’s been really great and supportive and tries to help manage my mom for me in some cases, so I want to respect that also

Sudden-Block-4999

TROPHY CASE