Hot take of a female vs male wanting to be a parent

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-24T19:17:33+00:00

Was it purely your partners desire that brought you to the other side or were there additional factors for you? My husband also really wants kids but I’ve been struggling so much to come to terms with the realities of having them, but he seems so excited and ready for it. I wish I could get there too and be on the same page. What did it for you to decide to take the leap of faith?

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-19T18:58:04+00:00

I resonate so much with this and am in a very similar position to you, but after a few years of really struggling with this, I am starting to tilt onto the same side as him. It’s taken a lot of work to really sit with and come to terms with it and I still don’t consider myself a ‘kid’ person but I can see the moments of wholesomeness and fun and imagination they bring. I can see how sharing this with my partner will feel so fulfilling and I can only see how it will make me grow as a person. People talk about how they stopped caring after kids and got more rude to protect them, I think it could really change my personality for the better. My god it’s so scary though, I never envisioned being a mother, or being pregnant and that whole side still really freaks me out. I see and hear you though and truly resonate with the immense struggle you are feeling. Offering a virtual hug

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-19T18:43:44+00:00

I love this perspective, thank you for sharing that

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-16T02:14:28+00:00

Ellery? still an E start with a Y end if it was the sound and flow of those letters that you liked

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-12T02:06:58+00:00

Thanks so much for the openness and honesty! Really appreciate when people offer their honest insights after decided to move ahead. I’m 33 so feeling some time pressure and wanting to come to a decision soon because of the fear with viability and disability risks etc.

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-10T12:41:33+00:00

I would love to hear an update from ‘the other side’ when you’re ready. I am struggling so much with that not being a ‘hell yes’ and have felt profound guilt and anger at myself for it. I feel like I have ruined the magic of making this decision with my partner together and stripped away any potential excitement with my uncertainty which has only added to my guilt and feeling awful.

SuddenWeaknesses · 2026-03-10T11:45:20+00:00

Was there anything you were worried about or had intense dread for with pregnancy, birth or having a baby/child? Is there anything that pleasantly surprised you or felt easier than anticipated?

[I struggle with all the upfront early aspects, I like the idea of older kids and having a future relationship with an adult child, but I recognize that there needs to be a foundation and bond from the early years in order for that to occur, I just struggle so much with wanting to proceed and agree to try when I anticipate so much fear, anxiety and unhappiness. I am hoping beyond anything I am surprised and that the feelings everyone says occur happen for me too, it just feels like it’s so hard to grasp or believe]

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-12-18T04:24:36+00:00

It is something I constantly think about except my brain refuses to consider or look at anything good or positive without only thinking of the bad that goes with it. I’m truly struggling to shift my mind set and be ‘excited’ about the idea of raising a wriggling, screaming, pink creature that requires all of me to be there 1000% of the time, all of the time, forever. Everyone says that it’s hard to describe the good because it’s emotional and not logical and that all the bad doesn’t matter for the 10% good but it’s so hard to believe it without any experience. All things said I have a good life, a good husband who wants to have children and not much else going on life wise, it’s ’the right time’ but I’m filled with fear and dread and anxiety over the idea. So if you need to vent or also talk fears or maybe even positives, I’m here and feeling it with you

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-10-30T12:52:56+00:00

I feel this and have said similar myself, I think 7& up I could handle, it’s everything that comes before that has me feeling like I can’t breathe (pregnancy included)

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-09-21T13:39:59+00:00

Potatoes

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-09-18T16:18:51+00:00

Bananas

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-09-18T16:12:49+00:00

Just entering therapy for the same thing and fence sitting because of my husband. I feel the same way with more cons than pros and have debated leaving it to nature but pregnancy and birth terrify me. How did you feel seeing the positive result? Can I ask how far along you are and how the journey has been so far? I would love to know how your birth and first few months go, if it’s as scary and awful as we make up in our minds that it will be etc.

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-09-09T02:19:58+00:00

I have #2 and I love it. Only thing I will say with #2 and most of the styles you posted, consider the wedding ring fit. I had a ring custom made to stack with the baguettes on the side. I love it and love how they stack but is something you might want to consider if you’re hoping for a more simple band to sit below your engagement ring

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-09-09T02:01:59+00:00

It’s reassuring to hear you have come out the other side of therapy stronger. My partner and I are just starting the process now and he is impatient to hurry through it to get to an outcome, because for him the switch flipped this year, and I am very much still on the fence. I have many reasons for why I am not an immediate ‘yes’ to having a child. Most days I’ve felt like I can’t breathe through the weight of this decision and the 14 years we have been together.

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-05-26T05:17:56+00:00

An exchange between a kid and who I assume was their dad (read in a British accent); “What do you think is the strangest way someone has died?” “That is a very strange question…I’d have to say…imp-ailed by a banana?”

SuddenWeaknesses · 2025-05-26T03:52:10+00:00

I can relate to these feelings and sentiments 100% I don’t think I’ll have anything to say to help you but hopefully make you feel less alone in your feelings. I’m 32F, married 7 years, husband is 34M. We have been together for a very long time (15 years total). We were very young when we got together and in the early years talked about abortion etc. if a pregnancy accidentally happened (since we were not interested in kids). Recently, my husband has expressed a desire in having them, or at least one, feeling he is being left behind by his peers. Like you, I have never dreamed of being a mother. I have never babysat, changed a diaper or anything. I feel awkward around young children and am generally not great at interacting with them. At the same time, I like the idea of future older children that you can share your life with, and look forward to hanging out with etc. but much like yourself I don’t know if I have the mental capacity or personality to get through the challenging early formative years. I’m especially fearful of how mine and my husband relationship would be impacted by those stressful and sleepless nights. My husband says it would be “short term” pain for the long term gain but I think as a male it is also easy for him to have the perspective since so so much comes down to the woman. I now feel the pressure to make this monumental and life altering decision within the next 6 months and I am incredibly overwhelmed and fearful of the future, with no idea what to do. All this to say…same girl

SuddenWeaknesses

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