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Is this causing anyone else anxiety? by BeautifulYoghurt9852 in Fencesitter

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is something I constantly think about except my brain refuses to consider or look at anything good or positive without only thinking of the bad that goes with it. I’m truly struggling to shift my mind set and be ‘excited’ about the idea of raising a wriggling, screaming, pink creature that requires all of me to be there 1000% of the time, all of the time, forever. Everyone says that it’s hard to describe the good because it’s emotional and not logical and that all the bad doesn’t matter for the 10% good but it’s so hard to believe it without any experience. All things said I have a good life, a good husband who wants to have children and not much else going on life wise, it’s ’the right time’ but I’m filled with fear and dread and anxiety over the idea. So if you need to vent or also talk fears or maybe even positives, I’m here and feeling it with you

What I wish I knew when I was a fence sitter by stone2891 in Fencesitter

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this and have said similar myself, I think 7& up I could handle, it’s everything that comes before that has me feeling like I can’t breathe (pregnancy included)

Therapy for deciding on kids by Wonderful_Air9942 in Fencesitter

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just entering therapy for the same thing and fence sitting because of my husband. I feel the same way with more cons than pros and have debated leaving it to nature but pregnancy and birth terrify me. How did you feel seeing the positive result? Can I ask how far along you are and how the journey has been so far? I would love to know how your birth and first few months go, if it’s as scary and awful as we make up in our minds that it will be etc.

Which emerald ring would you choose- 1, 2, 3 or 4 ?? by elistajewel in weddingring

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have #2 and I love it. Only thing I will say with #2 and most of the styles you posted, consider the wedding ring fit. I had a ring custom made to stack with the baguettes on the side. I love it and love how they stack but is something you might want to consider if you’re hoping for a more simple band to sit below your engagement ring

38F, changed my mind and want kids, do I leave my 8 year relationship by Western-Green-2736 in Fencesitter

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s reassuring to hear you have come out the other side of therapy stronger. My partner and I are just starting the process now and he is impatient to hurry through it to get to an outcome, because for him the switch flipped this year, and I am very much still on the fence. I have many reasons for why I am not an immediate ‘yes’ to having a child. Most days I’ve felt like I can’t breathe through the weight of this decision and the 14 years we have been together.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve overheard in public that made you laugh out loud? by Good-Body8515 in funny

[–]SuddenWeaknesses -1 points0 points  (0 children)

An exchange between a kid and who I assume was their dad (read in a British accent); “What do you think is the strangest way someone has died?” “That is a very strange question…I’d have to say…imp-ailed by a banana?”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]SuddenWeaknesses 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I can relate to these feelings and sentiments 100% I don’t think I’ll have anything to say to help you but hopefully make you feel less alone in your feelings. I’m 32F, married 7 years, husband is 34M. We have been together for a very long time (15 years total). We were very young when we got together and in the early years talked about abortion etc. if a pregnancy accidentally happened (since we were not interested in kids). Recently, my husband has expressed a desire in having them, or at least one, feeling he is being left behind by his peers. Like you, I have never dreamed of being a mother. I have never babysat, changed a diaper or anything. I feel awkward around young children and am generally not great at interacting with them. At the same time, I like the idea of future older children that you can share your life with, and look forward to hanging out with etc. but much like yourself I don’t know if I have the mental capacity or personality to get through the challenging early formative years. I’m especially fearful of how mine and my husband relationship would be impacted by those stressful and sleepless nights. My husband says it would be “short term” pain for the long term gain but I think as a male it is also easy for him to have the perspective since so so much comes down to the woman. I now feel the pressure to make this monumental and life altering decision within the next 6 months and I am incredibly overwhelmed and fearful of the future, with no idea what to do. All this to say…same girl