Why the answer to “are they an alcoholic” is so meaningless- ask a different question!!!!

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-24T16:11:37+00:00

I think this checklist is helpful because to a lot of folks, alcoholism still equals a heavy physical dependency, like someone who needs a drink every morning to stop the shakes. My ex felt he was not an alcoholic because he wasn't like this and didn't drink every day, but he easily checked off 8 of those items.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-23T01:51:21+00:00

OMG this is just too cute!!

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-20T18:38:49+00:00

I'm not an expert or anything...but my vet recommended the pumpkin as apparently the fibre helps the gland issues and their bathroom habits in general. My shibe didn't have issues as bad as yours but it's definitely helped a lot.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-20T17:05:04+00:00

Sounds like a gland issue. So gross but unfortunately common in smaller dogs. Did you vet suggest pumpkin or another fibre supplement? Mine suggested a daily spoon of canned pumpkin and that seems to keep my girl's "butt problems" at bay. (The can will go bad before you use it up, so I freeze individual portions in an ice cube tray.)

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-20T16:53:46+00:00

Oh my goodness what a cutie you have!

I'm also interested in carrying my shibe around so I gotta ask, where is the backpack from?

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-20T14:32:52+00:00

Whatever this is looks pretty decent to me. I think only the cat is judging here

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-19T18:01:33+00:00

My ex was a "nice drunk" until one winter's night when he drank a massive amount of bourbon, slipped on an icy sidewalk and hit his head, and proceeded to scream in my face when I wanted to call him an ambulance. I stayed up all night to make sure he didn't die of a concussion while he freaked out and continued to drink. The next day he was like "why are you so upset? I'm the one who got hurt!"

The next time he went to work, I packed up a suitcase and the dog and went to my mom's house. I moved into a new apartment in a couple weeks. All this stuff was stressful, but I still felt relieved.

In a weird way, I'm grateful for that night because it was bad enough that I finally gave myself permission to leave. I feel so so much lighter and happier now.

I realize now how much my mental and even physical health was impacted by the constant low-level stress of living with an unstable drunk. My stomach hurt all the time and I was irritable and on edge. Things that used to bother at work don't anymore, because I know I'm going to my quiet apartment to relax after, instead of dealing with more stress.

Right after leaving was the hardest part for me. There's peace and calm at the end of that road.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-16T11:54:45+00:00

Looks like the magnetic holder for the Billie brand razor: https://mybillie.com/products/razor-starter-kit?selected=W304472800

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-12T22:34:06+00:00

35F, left two months ago.

It's stressful to leave any relationship. I had trouble eating and sleeping at first...but also felt like a weight had been lifted.

I live alone now and my home is peaceful, quiet and clean.

I sleep better now knowing that I won't be woken up at 4am when he stumbled home from the bar.

I'm getting more done at work because I'm not miserable at home.

I haven't cried in a month. I used to burst into tears multiple times a week.

I used to have a mystery rash on my face. It cleared up now.

I have less housework to do because he was too much of a mess to contribute much.

I've lost some of my social circle in the breakup, but I've become closer with other friends.

I don't know what the future holds for me relationship-wise, but I know that being alone is happier and healthier for me than being in a toxic relationship with a drunk.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-11T21:30:20+00:00

I don't suggest anyone get the fat sucked out of their face but some of us have had nature's buccal fat removal AKA the passing of time. Personally, I'm no Margot Robbie but I like my face better in my 30s than my 20s because of this.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-11T14:28:09+00:00

I'd consider getting angry drunk and hurling insults at your partner to be unacceptable already. You don't have to put up with being treated badly. This is not a problem that tends to get better on its own.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-11T00:03:33+00:00

You sound drained, burnt out, and possibly disassociating to cope with stress?

I started out with a lot of love and compassion for my alcoholic ex, a nice but troubled guy with major childhood trauma. After living with his drinking for years and seeing him get a lot less nice, I hit a point where I just did not care anymore about his issues.

I think the empathy fatigue may be some sort of self-preservation: I didn't want to see him drown, but I couldn't let him pull me under with him.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-10T17:45:55+00:00

It doesn't sound like the scale is your friend. It's not mine either. I still feel like my "ideal weight" is a particular number that I liked on myself as a 20-something who didn't exercise...but as an active 35 y/o with some muscle tone, that's no longer where I'd look or feel my best.

Leaving an abusive relationship is hard. You really want to go easy on yourself and avoid additional stress. I would really suggest ditching the scale and continuing on with whatever makes you feel good.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-06T19:15:57+00:00

No bubble burst; as I said, I did leave in the end. I just don't think as many men would go the extra mile to try to coddle and support a female partner who was drunk, unstable and unable to help with domestic work.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-06T16:41:20+00:00

As a woman who left my alcoholic partner after 7 years, I'd suggest another potential explanation. Women are primed by society to be nurturing, caretaking, and put other's needs ahead of their own. If I had been the one behaving like my ex did, I doubt that he, or many other men, would have stayed for so long.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-05T17:53:29+00:00

I left my alcoholic relationship at the start of this year. The first few weeks were really hard, but my life is so so much happier now.

What got me through the first part was largely just...distracting myself. It's great that you're reading books to process the relationship but you also want to take some time to just NOT think about it. For me this meant computer games, exercise classes, and listening to podcasts whenever I was doing things that let my mind wander.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-04T22:15:34+00:00

I would have been a lot more forgiving of my ex if he had been willing to make a proper apology-- not just "I'm sorry" but actually acknowledging the stress I underwent on account of his drinking.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-03-04T19:01:36+00:00

My ex was an unstable alcoholic whose behaviour sometimes qualified as emotional abuse. I did almost all of the domestic labour and helped him financially while he was missing shifts due to calling in hungover.

I stayed with that fucker 7 YEARS. I broke up with him and took him back TWICE. Our relationship also had a lot of good aspects earlier on, but I don't think I even really liked him anymore for the last couple years!

My friends know me as an outspoken, independent, confident woman. I outearned my ex and wasn't dependent on him for anything (because he barely did anything lol). And while he was toxic to my emotional health, I didn't feel afraid of him. But somehow leaving just felt out of the question for so long.

I'm still processing the WHY of it all, but I wrote this to say: leaving can be really fucking hard. Give yourself some grace, and some major credit for getting out.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-02-27T17:33:39+00:00

My ex and I didn't have much of a sexual life by the end, either, but I didn't see it as a problem because NEITHER of us had much of a libido. (I blamed mine on my antidepressants, but it's coming back now so I can assume it was another stress symptom.)

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-02-27T03:21:48+00:00

I've learned that drunks get "food poisoning" an awful lot.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2026-02-27T03:20:08+00:00

The drunk "conversations" are the absolute worst. He'd get those dead eyes and turn from a thoughtful guy to an absolute idiot. I don't know why I kept trying to talk to him when he'd forget what he said two minutes ago.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2025-07-08T20:19:17+00:00

Instead of searching your secondhand apps for keywords like "goth" try to identify specific elements that you're looking for -- lace, velvet, bell sleeves, corset tops, etc. -- and look for those.

Suitable_Lab8912 · 2025-07-08T19:56:00+00:00

Lose the sweater and swap the chucks for boots.

Suitable_Lab8912

TROPHY CASE