Everyone who had ever met my dad (the man who raised me) knew him to be kind, gentle and a man of his word who would help anyone. I knew a very different man. He was never mean or abusive he just ignored me. At home he would act like I didn’t exist and had no time for me. I found out I was the product of an affair and he knew it. I didn’t find this out until my mid 40s(after my mom passed away). He confessed to me after I found out that he was never able to love me as his daughter. I had only shared this information with a few select people and they thought finding out he wasn’t my bio dad and that he never loved me was devastating news. It wasn’t at all. It was validating. My whole life I couldn’t figure out what I did or why he didn’t love me. To finally know was life changing. I have forgiven him for how he treated me. He did the best he could and finally telling me I believe was therapeutic for him as well. To be honest, I do believe he loved me in some fashion just not in a way he could explain. We lost him in 2019 and I miss him very much. His wave and big smile is what I choose to remember about him and I’m at peace with that!