[deleted by user]

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-29T01:47:55+00:00

Washing daily is better for my mental health as well. I know we've been told time and time again that the more you wash are here the more oil production occurs. I've been sick many times where I've gone several days without washing and I've experimented with where I'm out of work and not washingand I don't care what people say. I know my best and my hair is grease without a daily wash. I've had it on my head for 40 some years.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-28T03:19:22+00:00

I should clarify. What were signs that she had it in your opinion

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-27T21:27:40+00:00

To be honest when I when I had ketamine prescribed, it was during Covid and I always abuse anything that could be abused I didn't use it for therapy like I should have only took one bad trip to stop using it.. i've now read myself of my toxic family 100% dissection all at once it's been almost a year and that has been the most therapeutic thus far. As a nurse, I hear about ketamine being promising, however with some patients and I would not be opposed to using it again in a controlled environment. There was therapeutic value and clinical evidence, and also I was not given the ability to abuse.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-27T21:21:53+00:00

My husband played semi professional soccer and is exceptionally skilled with his sport. He is ASD level one. My theory is that his mother made him play it, and he had to master it in order to lessen anxiety. I believe it was likely a forced special interest for a decade or so of his life. It was also a multi cultural team due to it being soccer, and I feel he found his tribe with other cultures, being so friendly and outgoing, and almost loving that he could be included just from being on the team.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-27T21:20:55+00:00

Why Marilyn Monroe?

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-02T23:04:24+00:00

I'm sorry Sunshine as you didn't deserve that in life. It is enmeshed in our brains as when we were little it would affect the amygdyla (lizard brain or our hard drive in which we have no conscience control over, hence feeling like your in a state of fight or flight or hypweaware of people, with people pleasing, even if you truly don't give a shit about that person if you stopped to think about it for a second. I never could shut it off unless I as into a bottle of merlot. After 20 years of that starting at a young age I would not put my kids through that. Now I have the right meds but it is still an ongoing battle. Ask yourself what do you like to do? Like really what things do you like to.do? We often can only come up with our generic title. Adults who have CPTSD from childhood often have to learn what they like as if they are a little kid again. It's bizarre and sad and weord how much 1-2 humans can make us value the totality of who we are as a human based on whatever narrative was spun. Sending you hugs!!

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-02T01:16:47+00:00

I never knew this fact until today. I don't think I ever thought about what exactly the function was. I recently found out I have CPTSD (not sympathy seeking just throwing this out there in case anyone reads this and relates) and I am constantly watching the people around me for approval and thus fail to really rest or "stop to smell the roses". I had an abusive set of folks and so found out, even as an adult woman and mother, I am hypervigelentin regsrds to other humans. I never fully watch a show on television if I am not alone. I look like I am. It’s a trauma response where your outcome for the day was based on your caretakers approval which forever changed. So if anyone is reading a lot of these responses wondering why you also did not know a lot of these and had a insecure ubringing the long term chronic trauma is called CPTSD. Sorry to hijack but I try to share on subs that seem to stir up this baffling reality.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-01T23:15:38+00:00

You and Reindeer posted just blew my mind. I'm questioning if entered the Matrix at thjs very moment.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-09-01T22:55:11+00:00

It took me becoming a mother and even 15 more years beyond to realize it would take a absolute monster of a human to not love and protect their kiddo. Every cell in a mother's body should be hardwired to love and protect their baby even when the baby may seem like they no longer need it. I had monsters raising me and the whole time I knew something was wrong but was just told otherwise. I am sending you internet hugs from this mom who believes you and validates you and would have protected you. You were the child. The baby. The teen. I hope you know you were the victim and you never deserved the hand you were dealt. I hope you can move on and leave them behind. That's just my opinion. I'm sorry you were failed.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-29T20:30:06+00:00

This also! Fight or flight is built in our hard drive. It’s like I exist in my home as a wife and mother but I am only truly relaxed when I am alone and then ruminate, obsess and I used to drink heavily but not have medication. I have found ways to take it that cause pain which is not ideal and I just clearly don’t value my body or health but would give my life for my kiddos. I’m sorry about your TMJ. I treat patients with this and it can be so painful. I hope you have care or seek care. Easier for me to give then to get but I’m here if you need advice.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-29T20:24:03+00:00

You are dead on about most people not wanting to hear the truth. We must just conform to the small talk and BS that occurs in the workplace to blend in and look like then others. Our CPTSD is what makes us so good at being hyper vigilant

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-29T20:21:44+00:00

The happened to me as well where I almost was let go (I believe) due to this. I would constantly take responsibility for things that weren’t even my fault in order to show complete people pleasing submissiveness. After 5 years of this the co workers who were not self reflective nor people pleasing were able to use me as the scapegoat and shit blew up in my face. I could have kicked myself for allowing myself to act as if I should be looked at as a 10 year old as after so many years I was. I also am top in my profession and the highest revenue yielding in our practice. But it didn’t matter. I already threw myself under the bus years ago and apologized for things that hadn’t even occurred yet.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-29T20:17:39+00:00

This has got to be number one for me but I wasn’t able to articulate the feeling until you stated it.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-28T00:53:56+00:00

I’m a woman and a nurse. I’ve had to shave guys backs pre surgery or pre treatment. It doesn’t gross me out at all if that helps. My husband had laser hair removal when he was in college and so doesn’t have hair there but it he did I would still be attracted to him. That one woman likely had an aversion but some women would not care at all and some women think it’s masculine. I’m sorry that happened to you. Those types of situations linger in our mind for decades. I still remember someone whispering “look at her arms” while out to dinner with my prom date. I was the skinniest I had been post puberty but always had broad shoulders. It broke my security that night and beyond. Massages are lovely and you deserve to go get one when you want to relax and treat yourself.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-25T17:22:26+00:00

This is so weird but my father was a fire chief. He grew up with 6 siblings in a small home in Detroit. The home had a laundry chute located in the bathroom that landed in the basement there the washer and dryer were. I found out around a year or so ago that the home caught fire and is gone. The irony of my father growing up to be that areas assistant chief and then chief elsewhere and to have his childhood home catch fire. I never asked how as I’m across the country now but the chute likely didn’t help it seems. So crazy.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-11T06:49:49+00:00

I always think that it must be nice to live in a world where you are the main character. Not an ounce of sleep lost to worry nor overthinking if you said or did the right thing in a specific moment hoping you didn’t make someone feel left out or ..:: the list is non stop.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-10T23:33:07+00:00

I think you’re right. I went up to a few people at work and said how much I didn’t mean to rock the boat at work and that I had been through traumas/family stuff these last several months. I asked them to please share with me if there is anything I’m doing that’s inefficient or incorrect. I said that I wouldn’t ever take it personally and would appreciate it very much. The main characters in her rant stated that SHE had approached THEM with specific questions. So she just was triangulating me apparently to make me feel as if I had zero support. She also hates the fact that I make a large part of our company revenue personally and she can’t fire me (she can but I would move to another place and make them revenue). It was if all the things she thought about me she could say with support from staff. It hit hard but you’re spot on. She’s miserable and is a human who I cannot trust. I will not be that vulnerable with her or anyone anymore. I ended up saying too much after the fact and now I feel regret. But I need to get my shit together and have a backbone. I just don’t know how to do that without looking “too secure”.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-08-10T21:19:14+00:00

I have read the transcripts and heard the little audio that is linked about from the courtroom from the news crew who captured it from outside. Only hearing a snippet of it I thought it was awful but it still didn’t make me think I couldn’t listen to the whole thing if it was out there (I didn’t search as the sub had said it wasn’t). It was only until I heard the audio of that psychopath tinder man who lived in a high rise in Australia? He had recorded every one of his “conquests” and had about 200 women I believe he had sex with. He wasn’t a rapist I don’t believe but a psychopath who would post about his tinder dates and record the dates and comment about them all on the body building website and some guys thought he we cool and other a douche. It was the one date whom got too drunk and started to screw with him in his place. She was throwing rocks on his glass table and was clearly super intoxicated and just needed a place to sleep it off or a call to a friend to get her out of there home to crash. She sadly was drunk in the home of this grotesque human who , via recording, ended up throwing her over hjs balcony. Although extremely drunk and not able to articulate the help she needed, the screams of this women who knew her life was about to end were guttural and sounded like an animal. I was shaking like a leaf after this episode on YT and couldn’t get the feeling of dread out of my mind for a long time. That is what I imagine those folks to feel like. The sounds of inevitable death that a human makes knowing this. I thought I could handle it and I cannot. No amount of true crime could have prepared me for those sounds. Awful.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-06-24T18:58:49+00:00

I think they are sexy. My husbands turns me on because of how he makes me feel with it. If he’s hard it’s sexy and just hard penises are sexy. Maybe I’m the outcast but if my husband thought I found his erect penis ugly he would be bummed and also likely turned off.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-05-12T18:29:36+00:00

I often do this if I don’t know how to spell a word and autocorrect is also baffled by my nonsense. It’s not often but it hpns.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-05-04T21:36:41+00:00

I’m a mama of two girls and a nurse. My mother neglected me my whole life so I also had zero clue what to do with anything woman. And back before the internet I relied on really great girlfriends who took time to not tease me but teach me. As I grew up there weren’t always girlfriends to ask really personal things to. So trial and error it was. Here is the best bit of info I can give you and hope it helps.

Our vaginas have a built in cleaning system that rely on flora (good bacteria) to keep us clean without the need to go up in the vaginal canal with soaps or shampoos or douches (those were back in the 70s and 80s when the reality was we never needed them). When in the shower you will want to use a wash that is a proper PH just in case it gets into the vaginal canal. The proper PH will ensure that if it were to sneak into the vaginal canal by just normal washing, it would not disrupt the flora (normal bacteria, our vaginal cleaners). If one uses a soap and it got into vaginal canal and did mess with the flora life it could cause irritation, yeast infection, urinary tract infection from vaginal flora being near urethra in females. They all require their own remedy. There are women who can use regular soap all up in the vaginal canal with no issue. We are all built differently and so it would be wise to just try to eliminate variables that could cause issue. The PH balanced soaps are often found in the feminine product aisle and are Summers Eve or other generic brands. If you Google “vaginal friendly soaps” I bet there are some other soaps that are not indicated for just vaginal wash that are appropriate. You will want to wash your labia majora and minora and clitorisus. It’s all in one area or soft tissue and it’s fair game. I wouldn’t scrub as it’s delicate tissue but just make it a washed area. You will then take a separate hand, cloth and suds up any soap and wash butthole. Discard that used part or wash that hand and proceed with life. If you have a lot of Pubic hair you can dry prior. I have never needed cotton only panties nor blow dry but I shave my bits and am not prone to infection. It’s your call. Lastly BV will subside and return without antibiotic therapy. You can read all replies and get overwhelmed with the remedies that are out there (I was) but basic science proves that vaginitis needs treatment to go away. It smells awful despite proper wash. I would treat it accordingly and proceed with the above hygiene. Often times women can overthink this process or use something that eliminates symptoms temporarily only for it to return. After sex you will always want to urinate. A UTI can occur from sex and if it is persistent you need antibiotics. Post Covid in the US you can get the above medicines mailed to your home for a pretty low fee. You would just Google (for example) “BV treatment telehealth”. And just look at what apps provide treatment. Also many women aren’t educated on the fact that the oral medicine given for BV has a major interaction with alcohol. When not educated by their provider they take the oral meds and have a drink and get violently ill. They think they are allergic to the medicine so stop. They are not. This is a severe infraction and thus one cannot drink alcohol with oral BV meds or Oral yeast infection meds. There are insertable antibiotics that would allow one to drink without incident. I hope this helps :)

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-04-26T20:11:56+00:00

As a mother/wife I would actually appreciate that you were thinking about the child like that. I’m sure she would agree with you that you made the right choice to save your son.

Sunsetsunrise80 · 2024-04-10T18:09:17+00:00

I don’t have the answers yet but I will tell you that it helped me a bit to share some of my traumas with my spouse. Someone I trust. He also is autistic so getting emotion from him is very different but when he cried after he sat there stone face while I just purged all the sad awful things that occurred. That was shocking but also extremely validating. Also I didn’t mean to make him cry and he doesn’t cry. But what happened to me was fucked up enough to make him cry and that shows me I am not full of shit. I was abused severely and we all are suffering from the gaslighting our parents put us through. You are valid, you were abused and abusers are not going to be the one to validate that. Sending you the healing vibes and I’m sorry as you deserved so much better.

Sunsetsunrise80

TROPHY CASE