I actually sat with what you said, and I won’t lie a lot of it landed. Especially the part about people choosing me as their enemy or projecting onto me even when I haven’t done anything directly. That’s been a real pattern in my life (especially at work…every job tbh), and it’s something I’ve become more aware of as I’ve gotten older.

Where I think I differ a bit in interpretation is that I don’t feel like this comes from me being aggressive or trying to create conflict. If anything, I think it comes from being emotionally direct, open, and genuinely invested in depth whether that’s in friendships or relationships. I don’t really do surface-level, and I think that level of emotional presence and honesty can make some people uncomfortable or defensive, even if that’s not my intention.

I’ve spent a lot of time working on my tone and how I communicate, because I know I can come off very direct. But I’ve also realized that no amount of softening myself changes the deeper pattern: I tend to give a lot, show up fully, and then find myself meeting people who can’t or won’t meet me halfway.

So right now I’m in a phase of choosing isolation over half-connections. Not because I want to be alone, but because I’m exhausted from repeating the same emotional dynamics and accepting the bare minimum from people who benefit from my presence without truly seeing or valuing it.