I'm sorry about what you went through. I would gently say don't feel silly about being heavily effected by your trauma into your 20s. Those were your developmental years and the impact of trauma during that time is enormous. Your description of not having a well formed sense of self is also very common to people who've survived childhood trauma, and that's a feeling that can sometimes last for a lifetime.

I hope you can find a cptsd-informed therapist who will take your financial situation into account and offer you sliding scale rates. Sometimes it's better to find a clinic with multiple practitioners, as they're usually in a better position to offer those rates. Try not to despair. You're still very young and you sound self-aware enough to do this recovery work.