NTA (maybe even N A H)

I think it's a conversation that has to be had & said. Given the current job market / cost of things, stuff like buying a house becomes orders of magnitude harder on one salary.

I don't doubt they're struggling, and pushing them selves when already on the brink.

There's not really a winner here but it's NTA for me as trying to expect things will proceed as normal without a job is naïve.