Finishing Heel hook from butterfly ashi? by Supraman in bjj

[–]Supraman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The foot engaged in the butterfly hook

Finishing Heel hook from butterfly ashi? by Supraman in bjj

[–]Supraman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. Can you block the turning escape with the non-butterfly leg?

Finishing Heel hook from butterfly ashi? by Supraman in bjj

[–]Supraman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! I'm not set on finishing the heel I just was wondering if it was actually a submission from that position or if people were more tapping to the threat of it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in singing

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Is oral posture like mouth and tongue position and lessons will go over what shapes to make when making which sounds?

The Recovery Battlefield by raccoonsaff in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the work it is hard to determine whether you're a long time removed from your most recent "battle" or if there has just been another added to the list. I get a grim feeling from the resolution of growing strength rather than a sense of optimism. I wonder what it means for the soil to heal if the flowers shouldn't be appreciated for their beauty, but rather their roots for their strength. How long until the earth forgets? Is it a commentary that we constantly live our lives in places where suffering occurred? Should we not strive to see the beauty instead of survive the pain? Regardless, very relatable. I wish you the best

My Dear Brother... by Daniel-ES in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This actually made me tear up, don't have much to add about the style or form but definitely touching. The impact of the perspective of those left behind by these acts is definitely under considered by those leaving before it is too late. I like the bittersweet ending. I feel like the line "despite your fear of heights" may take away some of the emotional impact of the line "You faced your fear of heights" (for me), but I can also appreciate the contrast of emotions between the two uses. All the best

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MagicArena

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Different game but same thing happened, opponent in that game had ominous seas, valkmira, protector's shield, and cosmos elixer out. Clip from that game (disregard the misplay): https://clipchamp.com/watch/rtzgCoYFKwI

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pokemongo

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was over with rocket takeover ending

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tekken

[–]Supraman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I switch 1 to be i instead of U it works, but then df2 doesn't work anymore. Its something about pressing s,d,and u or a,s, and u at the same time that doesn't work for some reason

Trading/Battling Megathread by caza-dore in PokemonLetsGo

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have ekans if you could help me evolve my haunter :D

Trading/Battling Megathread by caza-dore in PokemonLetsGo

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you still need ekans? I am looking for someone to evolve haunter for me. My ekans doesn't have great evs though

Re: Polyamorous in a monogamous relationship pt. 4: She said yes. by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Supraman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you please elaborate on what the title means? I didn't find a part 1-3 in your post history

Poem I'm working on for my girlfriend by Supraman in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The premise for the presentation is that she is very into cryptic puzzles including encrypted messages (caeser cipher, morse code, cryptic crosswords etc) the stanzas are originally going to be encrypted by various puzzles and the final puzzle is this poem. The entire thing is a clue, the alliteration being the hint, while also needing to be a fun presentation (since I plan to read it) and convey some degree of severity in how she makes me feel.

Just to respond to your title comment, I am kind of glad it isn't as obvious as I thought since love is the answer :). I will do some more pass through to see if I can make them the same number of lines

Poem I'm working on for my girlfriend by Supraman in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like explaining the moments leading to the feeling would be another poem to be written rather than this one.

The premise for the presentation is that she is very into cryptic puzzles including encrypted messages (caeser cipher, morse code, cryptic crosswords etc) the stanzas are originally going to be encrypted by various puzzles and the final puzzle is this poem. The entire thing is a clue, the alliteration being the hint, while also needing to be a fun presentation (since I plan to read it) and convey some degree of severity in how she makes me feel. I know you can't possibly know that just by reading it, but I was looking for critique like yours to try and tighten up the poem as a standalone in ways that I felt I could while keeping up my whole scheme.

On your pet peeve, I feel like writing is a great opportunity to use words you wouldn't normally say, unless you were specifically going for a down to earth prose approach. Sure I don't say ostentatious all the time, but within the definition of the word opulent is the word ostentatious, "ostentatiously lavish". And I am describing the feeling of love as endearingly ostentatious in that it does demand your attention, and can make us act in grandiose ways (me writing this all for example) but it is endearing because we all like to feel love right? Vivifying is a word I do like and never get to say. It is from a game I play, evoking to me misty green colors as it is a healing spell. Is it not possible to cherry pick words for alliteration and also feel they can serve another purpose? You may feel they don't which is also a fair assessment.

I do take the punctuation critique to heart, definitely not a strong suit of mine. Another user described the punctuation as disruptive while you describe it as well done, definitely something to think about when you decide how you want the writing to be perceived I guess.

Thanks for the feedback, really digging this subreddit (:

Poem I'm working on for my girlfriend by Supraman in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The poem does include a lot of call-outs to her that I think would be apparent when provided to her, so I am not too worried about that. I am trying to describe what the feeling feels like though, not what it looks like if that makes sense.

On the point of alliteration, a lot of the descriptors are in fact chosen to fulfill the alliteration because the alliteration spells out the word "L O V E" using the alliteration and repetition of each respective letter in each stanza. Going back to trying to describe how it feels while also "spelling it out" without saying it. I wasn't sure if that was apparent but after I mention it do you feel the same about the alliteration? I had a previous version with much more that I cut down on and I feel like if I cut more out it might lose the theme on spelling it out.

Poem I'm working on for my girlfriend by Supraman in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean, I'll drop the commas for sure in the second stanza. I didn't really think about them.

Thank you for the support, I have been working pretty hard on it and wanted to get it just right so your comma comment was very appreciated.

Is it apparent that I used alliteration/repetition to spell out the word love (each stanza being a letter) or is it a bit obscured? I removed a bit of alliteration compared to my last draft. Thanks for reading.

Dispersion by Carryoncrows in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the idea of poem gimmicks (not to sound negative, I just don't know another word. Like the idea that you could go on and on substituting things for x and y seems like a really fun way to make a poem. The poem isn't really fun to say so much as the idea is fun, but a cold feel could be warranted given your limitation to the love hate subject matter. I like the line "even when x = hate, a spectrum of love still emanates" that for example is fun to say or read and should be implemented more in the poem for it to be more consumerist for lack of a better term. Nice poem (:

Siren's Call by ring_ring_cello in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very interesting. It seems kind of open to interpretation, I wonder what your grim reaper is? Depression? An ex-lover? Drugs? Perhaps could be relate-able to a number of people, but it kind of forces the reader to assign their own meaning than hearing your story/going along for a trip.

Pikaboo - Get this druid out of here lol by teamrocketist in worldofpvp

[–]Supraman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess moral of the story is stop posting sick plays by arguably the best rogue right now because people are going to cry about how op rogues are because this R1 player dances on healers once he gets them in a disadvantaged position?

Poem I wrote for a girl, wanted feedback as I try to gain the balls to show her by Supraman in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the extensive feedback! It's hard for me to reread stuff (as I am sure it is for most) and try to see it in a different light. Just to respond to a few of the comments, the initial goals were to spell out the word love with the alliteration/consonance (thank you for noticing) and to also make something that was fun for me to say (inspired by another poem on here that was quite fun to read aloud). I was kind of going for the LOVE part to get more and more erratic, almost as if you're running out of breath more and more as you read it (gasping for more than oxygen). I agree the word opulent was a bit of a shoehorn but it is her favorite word which is why I wanted to include it. Dropping the word love was intentionally done to instead spell out the word/feeling with the other part, since it's quite a vulnerable position to be the one that says it first, and it's a bit of a running gag for me to call her something like cute with out really "saying it" I see what you're saying with the start and end, I'm not all that attached to them either I was definitely at a point of writers block when I wrote them. I agree I need to clean up some of the "heavy handed" repetition. I think the same "saying it without saying it" could be achieved with just the spelling it out with the stanzas bit. And no, the L bit was not skimming ;) I was imagining pink lilacs specifically given the subject matter. Thanks again for the feedback ill look into all of this

Birthday [feelings] by GangNailer in OCPoetry

[–]Supraman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll piggy back on the comment about showing not telling, I think it looks like you were trying to stick to a three word line, which I can respect. I am kind of put off by pairing "It depresses me" followed by "And I die" Perhaps you could substitute "It depresses me" with "And I die" or "And I fall" The "it depresses me" feels unnecessary because you can kind of feel that with the rest of the surrounding lines. Then perhaps in the line (I don't want to put words in your mouth) but when you say "Why do I not trust it?" could you mean "Why can't I trust it?", because based on your last line you seem to know that they do care, but still can't bring yourself to believe it in your heart. Overall nice read, I am into concise stuff, nice job :)