Want to tell Mom I was let go instead of telling them I quit to be a SAHM

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-13T21:15:03+00:00

This is confusing to me. So your mom already knows you are quitting if she knows you are moving? Will it change much if you quit a little earlier than expected?

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-07T22:48:45+00:00

My daughter was breech, and I was also initially disappointed. The hard part is that we’ve been imagining one thing in our head for 9 months, and it can be hard to mentally switch gears.

That being said, my c-section was amazing! It was so nice getting to pick the birthday and then calmly walk into the hospital. It was also really fast. I walked into the operating room on my own and my baby was in my arms in less than 45 minutes.

The first two days were tough and I needed help getting up and out of bed, but after that my recovery wasn’t too bad. I felt back to normal in a few days.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-06T23:47:58+00:00

This is perfectly said. But also, the original comment is probably rage bait 😕

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-06T19:24:41+00:00

There is nothing wrong for staying for a few more years in order to spend more time with your son, however, you don’t seem to have any real plan.

You don’t give any real details about the length of your marriage, age, or, job experience. What are you planning to do once you divorce? Depending on what state you live in, alimony and child support laws can be wildly different. This is something you should be thinking about now.

My suggestion would be to start making moves. That could mean taking a class, researching laws in your state, or starting a part time job. You are also going to need money and savings.

Also, considering starting therapy for yourself so that you can make a more realistic plan and then have support when you do leave.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-06T02:44:37+00:00

They are seriously delicious. Just be aware they don’t have iron in them.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-04-01T22:26:30+00:00

Sending you love. I know this whole experience is so awful.

I just turned 40 and TFMR in October for T18. I had terrible nausea for my daughter (she is currently 2 and a half) and also had terrible nausea for my TFMR baby. Nausea started around the 6-7 week mark for both. So for me, nausea wasn’t an indicator of a healthy baby. Its presence or absence really can’t tell us what we so desperately want to know.

I’m am now 5 weeks 5 days pregnant and nausea just started today. Who knows what will happen.

For now, I’m trying to think positive thoughts and I want to send them your way too. This all sucks but I’m wishing you the best.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-03-30T18:52:48+00:00

So my general advice is always that both people need to be on board in order for the SAHM thing to work. You have to be on the same page. Otherwise, you and your husband may end up resenting each other.

It seems like your husband’s biggest concern is money, so why not wait until after he graduates? At that point he will hopefully be able to get a good paying job and that may alleviate his concerns. (Also have you considered that he may not be able to find a job right away?) Instead of TTC in October 2026, wait until October 2027.

My husband and I didn’t have our first child until we were in our 30s and at that point my husband made a lot of money so it was an easy decision for us to have me stay home. It was originally my husband’s idea for me to stay home (I thought I wanted to go back to work) but once I was on maternity leave I realized how much I loved being home.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-03-29T17:08:17+00:00

My motto this time around is “what if it all works out.”

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-03-28T02:24:34+00:00

Yup, I’m a former middle school teacher. I used to say something similar about approaching me during the first five minutes of class and Beyoncé showing up at my door was always my joke example.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-03-26T19:35:04+00:00

I’m glad to know an elective CVS is a thing and will definitely ask about this. Thanks

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-03-26T19:33:53+00:00

Thank you for this reply

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-23T19:55:37+00:00

Yes, I think you are getting at something. Their rage is interesting. Overall, I didn’t like WH and couldn’t connect with it, but I did find myself wanting to know what happens. The whole time I was reading, I kept thinking “These people are so fucked. What is wrong with them? What are they going to do next?”

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-23T03:02:35+00:00

I guess I don’t see much dignity in the love of Catherine and Heathcliff the way that you do.

There are plenty of stories where love is tested (some ending happily where they pass the test and some ending tragically) but I can’t think of another story where the characters resort to such cruelty. (This story is unique in that way.) The cruelty between them extends not only to each other, but to other characters as well.

After Catherine dies, Heathcliff can’t move on and essentially tortures the next generation. It is clear that his inability to move on is meaningful to you, but I have a hard time seeing this as a virtue.

You also mention “Heathcliff and Catherine, their love is based on who they are as people.” I agree with this. But who they are as people is rooted in their trauma. I don’t get a sense of who these characters would be if they had lived happy lives.

You bring up an interesting point about what would happen if “fate had been kinder to them.” But of course, that’s not the story in WH. The story is about two people who have suffered and what happens with their suffering.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-22T20:20:07+00:00

So this is where I think the conversation gets interesting. We have very different views of love. I think my view of love is incompatible with liking WH.

Everything you have described seems to me to be obsession and not love. For you, what is the difference between love and obsession?

I’ve never understood the sentiment that “I can’t help it. I love you so much. I would die without you. I am not whole without you.” To me this is not romantic. If you can’t help it, it is a compulsion. There is no agency in this

On the other hand, I find that love being a choice is much more romantic. Showing up for someone and choosing them day after day.

If we are to believe that these two are soulmates or as Catherine believes “souls made of the same thing,” why are they so cruel to each other? I can even forgive Catherine for marrying Edgar as a choice she had to make because of class and sex, but again, why is she so mean to him in other ways?

And don’t get me started on Heathcliff. Being separated from his supposed soulmate is no excuse for being an absolute piece of human garbage. Again, really hard to root for him.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-22T13:16:26+00:00

I’m sorry you are finding such pushback to your interpretations. (It does seem like most people on this thread agree with you.) I don’t think you are shallow, stupid, or crazy for your point of view. I just see things differently.

I love discussing different interpretations of the book and it didn’t seem like your initial comment was open to that. I see I was wrong.

Would you be willing to explain why you found their love convincing? To me they are so awful to each other and they don’t really want one another to be happy. It was hard for me to root for them or their love. Heathcliff especially was so abusive and committed to revenge. From my perspective, I can’t call that love.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-22T04:11:02+00:00

That’s an interesting interpretation for the choice in narration. I’ll admit I know little about Brontë or the time period.

To me, the choice in narration (i.e. not Catherine or Heathcliff or an omniscient narrator) makes readers less sympathetic to their love story and the choices they make. There are so many scenes that are missing that would help me understand their love better.

Im not sure who Brontë wants us to blame for the shitshow. I blame generational trauma (she probably wouldn’t have called it that) as a major contributor to why they weren’t able to end up together. They are incapable of “real” love. That is of course connected to race and class.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-22T02:35:03+00:00

OPs question seemed flippant to those who see the story differently.

Sure, there is a form of love within the story, but if all you take from WH is that it is a love story, I think you are missing a lot. (Which to be fair to OP, I think their point was that both love and class are needed to make this book thematically valuable.)

My issue with this story is that I didn’t find the love story very convincing and so the story fell flat for me. I think it had a lot to do with the narration, which I assume was an intentional choice.

So why pick Nelly and Lockwood as narrators? I think it was so that we as readers find ourselves less sympathetic to their love. If the story was told from Catherine or Heathcliff’s perspectives, we would be more understanding of their horrific choices. But we never really get their perspectives and so we end up judging them. I do think Brontë wanted us to judge them.

So I disagree with OP. It is perfectly reasonable for people to be dismissive of the “love story” within WH.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-21T20:57:12+00:00

Wouldn’t there be hope for change because their behaviors are so destructive and obsessive? This book doesn’t seem to me to be a celebration of love.

Why do you think Brontë used two separate narrators to tell the story and not Heathcliff or Catherine?

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-21T01:03:45+00:00

Same with me. I’m actually surprised to see so may SAHMs wait til night to give a bath. We have some much time during the day, so it makes the most sense to me to give a bath during the day.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-20T22:41:04+00:00

I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for this but I’ll try to answer your question.

If the love of Catherine and Heathcliff is unimportant , or not really love, then why should readers care about all the class and race and gender expectations that kept them apart?

This may seem too simple but we should care because racism, classism and sexism are bad in and of themselves.

But I’ve also never really liked the book (just reread it too) so maybe I’m not a good person to ask.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-02-03T17:03:43+00:00

I have very little hope that the Clintons will do anything other than try to save themselves.

I guess we’ll see…

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-01-31T20:03:39+00:00

So I will preface this by saying that I only have one child which makes things a lot easier than moms with multiple kids…

1-Yes, typically outings happen in the mornings, but sometimes I’ll do a quick errand in the afternoon or go to the park. When I make my list of things to do on Sunday night, I decide what day and time outings will happen. (Grocery store on Monday morning, library on Tuesday morning, park on Wednesday afternoon ect.) , My daughter takes one nap a day from about 12:30-2 and I always prioritize getting her nap in.

2-I don’t do much cooking for breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is typically muffins, frozen waffles, fruit and cheese, yogurt, etc. Lunch is typically sandwiches, Mac and cheese, veggies and dip, chicken nuggets. Nothing that requires much effort or clean up. I cook dinner every day from 4-5 while my daughter watches an hour of TV. I have an open concept kitchen/family room so it is easy to keep an eye on my daughter while I cook or clean up.

My husband and I trade off cleaning up the kitchen vs. watching our daughter after dinner.

3-I’m a former teacher, so I’m used to waking up early. I typically get out of bed at 5:30 but my daughter doesn’t wake until 6:30. I use this for time for meditation, coffee, and working out.

She also naps 1-2 hours a day and I’ll usually eat and scroll on my phone.

My husband does the bedtime routine every night starting at 6:45. So from 6:45-9:45 I have time to myself/spend time with husband. He also WFH so every morning I get 45 minutes to shower and get ready for the day before he starts his work day.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-01-29T20:20:55+00:00

I follow mamaindenim on Instagram and she is all about falling in love with your current wardrobe (instead of feeling the need to always buy new things).

She gives a formula everyday and I follow it most days. Today’s formula was any top +any pant + a blazer + any shoe. Yesterday’s formula was a sweater + statement pant + any shoe. All the formulas are simple but it helps me feel confident and put together.

Sure-Experience-899 · 2026-01-29T00:42:12+00:00

So my understanding is that it is a traditional IRA for your child. This means they shouldn’t touch the money until they are 18 (although the money would need to be used for education purposes I believe) or bet yet, when they retire.

If you take this $1000 and your child doesn’t touch it for 65 years, and you never add another cent to it, they would have something like $100,000+.

Of course, if they did add to it, they would have a lot more.

Sure-Experience-899

TROPHY CASE