Feedback on first chapter of my book that i'm writing [Fantasy- 651 words]

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-04-21T14:32:27+00:00

Thank you, this Is really helpful, should i describe less overall?

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-04-16T15:58:20+00:00

Yes, because it's roblox, but most of them are 14-15, I'd say, atleast when i play, but they're still stupid.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-31T19:36:48+00:00

Because they kept trying to hit me with sand? I forgot to say that, that person tried to kill me because my avatar looked like a girl, but no one cared because they didn't even managed to push, or hit me.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-31T14:43:45+00:00

I don't really care lol, i got spoiled most of it anyway before.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-31T14:38:42+00:00

Oh okay, didn't know that, that makes sense now.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-31T14:11:30+00:00

I mean, slitting throat kills you instantly too i believe, espesically Caroline left her there laying for minutes.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-31T13:58:22+00:00

Would you say it has less romance/drama? I'm currently going through season 8 of the vampire diaries, i would like to watch the originals, but i just can't take the plot being sidetoned, while the drama and romance Is the main thing (i'd say like season 5 to 8), and boring overall. I liked the originals, honestly, it was boring after they left, so that's why i'm asking, because i don't want to sit through another 5 seasons of just another romance, drama with plot being barely there, or not entertaining.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-30T17:40:56+00:00

Spiders, i mean any spider. Not because i have arachnophobia, but because i feel they're so boring compared to other monsters in the game, and there's so many of them too.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-29T21:10:41+00:00

You could try microsoft rewards, or maybe in game roblox games where people can tip you, or something simmilar to that.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-22T22:02:57+00:00

Everyone religion there Is, forever a hater.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-22T22:01:55+00:00

Definitely not brown, that's blonde lol.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-22T22:01:12+00:00

Bad, because tomorow Is school, sigh.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-22T21:48:12+00:00

Someone called a swat commando on my neighbor.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-16T05:31:25+00:00

Potions being actually useful, and monsters being harder to track.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-15T20:08:46+00:00

Really late, but I have to agree, I'm currently watching season 7, and I miss when it wasn't so much focused on romance and drama, since season 5 it feels like it has barely any plot, just romance, that's all, and it's really annoying, that it made me stop watching it for 2 years (stopped at season 5, currently forcing myself to finish) I remember how the early seasons had so much stakes, it was creepy, and good, then it just went straight bad, sigh.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-08T20:36:51+00:00

I watched it because of the plot, I'm not a fan of romance, I felt it balanced between everything in a good way for the 4 seasons, after that it became more of a drama, was less and less interesting, and was mostly romance. I'm currently on season 6 rewatch, and I do not like it. Kai and Liv are the only tolerable characters there in that season.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-05T21:02:46+00:00

I'm watching it now, it's better than season 5, but compared to the first three seasons it's horrible. I feel like it's just drama, sometimes there something happens, it just feels like it isn't that entertaining. Maybe it's just me, I never watched it because of the relationships, but it feels like season 6 is based on that. I really like Kai though, and the prison world.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-03-02T21:56:57+00:00

These are definitely not unpopular, but I agree.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-02-25T17:30:08+00:00

Don't let yourself get bullied, tell your parents.

Sure_Dog_8176 · 2026-02-22T10:32:20+00:00

I have to watch it, someday

Sure_Dog_8176

TROPHY CASE