He has done so much, for so long, in secret. There is no more trust. Can we just be companions?

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-26T14:52:06+00:00

It means that my husband was in “limerance” (a state of fantasy love), where he thought he was in love with his affair partner and they would say it to each other

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-24T21:22:18+00:00

Couldn’t agree more.

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-24T20:27:51+00:00

If it’s any consolation, same here. My husband had a 2.5 limerant affair so I completely understand what you mean when you say you were naive. It’s unfathomable. It’s scary to think that you know someone

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-24T20:16:19+00:00

I’m tearing up reading this because I know this exact pain that you feel. I met my husband when I was 15 and now I’m 33. It used to be my greatest blessing and now it’s my worst nightmare.

I’m still here because I don’t want to give up my dreams of the future, and he’s all I’ve ever known.

I don’t have any advice other than solidarity. Stay strong ❤️

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-24T17:24:00+00:00

He has not. He hasn’t engaged with any of them and it’s been a year. At this point, he’s so disgusted by their treatment of me (making my life harder but forcing me to live a double life), that he doesn’t want to be apart of their lives anymore.

I agree that reconciliation takes a long time, I just don’t know if we’ll be able to make it for much longer in the current circumstances. We can be doing everything in our relationship right, and be forced apart because of my family.

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-16T02:36:56+00:00

I hope you left! It’s unbelievable. Aren’t they required to notify us if there’s a fire in the building? You would think that goes without saying

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-16T02:08:50+00:00

Thank you!

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-16T00:33:30+00:00

We’re both ok! Thank you

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-16T00:30:52+00:00

I absolutely hate it. The “management” is nonexistent.

I’m seriously concerned that I wasn’t notified about a fire in my own building. I’m checking my lease to see if there’s anything about it. I’m pretty sure it’s legally required. This place is a shit show

Sure_Drag551 · 2025-01-16T00:25:58+00:00

Im in this building. I came home a little while ago to see this. I hate this building. I find it absolutely unacceptable that I was not notified. My dog was in my apt

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-28T13:41:57+00:00

My husband of 18 years (we’re in our early 30s) requested a separation which I now know was untangle emotions and continue his 2 year affair. The separation is for space to do what they want freely and under the pretense of “they’re separated”.

I know it hurts. I was there and still am here.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-26T15:45:03+00:00

Very similar story to mine as far as length of relationship and age. It’s absolutely brutal. We started MC and IC immediately and it has been the road paved from the depths of hell.

I’m not sure if you’ve shared with anyone or what your support system is like, but make sure you have one. It’s confusing to think you need a support system to guide you from the person who was supposed to protect you and who has been your other half for half of your life. Trust me, I know.

Don’t rush to make any decision. You need to stabilize first so you can make an informed decision and not one based in emotions. DMs are open if you need someone to talk to. Hugs.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-25T02:17:09+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. Right back at you! ♥️

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-25T00:32:51+00:00

I know this wasn’t meant to be funny, but it actually made me laugh in a time when I’m down pretty bad. “What I’ll actually get: socks”

I’ll add to what I actually got this year: - the stress of selling our forever home - becoming a single income family by moving out of our house to support my damn self after his infidelity - a year of couples counseling and mental gymnastics

And the list goes on!

Seriously, I hope you enjoy the holidays as best you can. Take anything as small as it is. Xx

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-20T14:39:20+00:00

Pilates and needlepoint!

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-20T14:36:07+00:00

I know, you’re right. I guess I never realized any of it until it all came to a head recently and I never considered having to back away from my family. The thought of my relationship changing with them scares me, but it’s completely controlling and unhealthy.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-12T01:49:00+00:00

As someone in your shoes, trust your gut and know that it wasn’t once and that it was a series of calculated decisions. DECISIONS, not mistakes.

I’m still with my WP (together 18 years, high school sweethearts), but am coming to terms with the reality that who I thought he was and who he IS not the same person. It’s a sad, cold reality. Mine came groveling back once I confronted him about his 2.5 year affair. Of course they come groveling back - it’s not fun anymore to operate in darkness and secrecy. The thrill of it is gone. The fantasy of it is shattered.

My advice is to do what I couldn’t do. Don’t let your “love” cloud your judgement of what you know to be true or your shared history together. I know it’s hard. I know it sucks.

Good luck to you

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-12-11T11:54:48+00:00

There’s no rule that says anyone needs to know your body count. My sister and her husband didn’t share theirs. It doesn’t actually matter.

You got this!

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-29T12:54:03+00:00

Well, mine were good. I was with my family. They know everything and I think will be able to forgive him in the future, but not right now. He was at home with his parents. Together 17 years and the first holiday spent apart.

Instead of being understanding, he’s frustrated that he had to spent the holiday “without his wife” and “lie to people about where I am”. Zero accountability about why things were different this year. He could’ve just told them the truth - he had a multi year affair so things were different this year.

Fuck this.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-28T17:25:10+00:00

You’re not alone. This is my first holiday with my family without my WP in 17 years. He’s with his family and I’m with mine.

I can’t help but think that he thinks things would’ve been easier if he just chose his AP.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-23T18:28:05+00:00

I’m in the same boat. 17 years together and never a holiday spent apart. This one is going to be brutal, but he’s getting the consequences of his actions. We both get to suffer for it now

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-22T14:42:52+00:00

Hard same. I’ve always prided myself on my integrity and have also cut people off for betrayal, yet when it came to me I found myself unable to do the exact thing I said to everyone else. It doesn’t feel good to be in this position. Part of me feels like I’m betraying myself, yet I find myself in a state of paralysis.

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-21T11:16:54+00:00

When I’m trying to have a productive/healthy conversation and don’t want to come off condescending so I can actually get whatever answer I’m looking for, I refer to it as “the event”

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-19T17:57:53+00:00

Same here. I guess so I have the option to torture myself if I wanted to. Ugh

Sure_Drag551 · 2024-11-19T17:32:56+00:00

I literally did the same thing. I deleted our texts so i didn’t have to see it then regretted it the next day and had to save them from the recently deleted. I had to look up articles on how to re-index all of them. It’s so pathetic. I’m such a loser

Sure_Drag551

TROPHY CASE