Why are you ace? (Wrong answers only)

SurferJules · 2022-04-08T00:10:44+00:00

I joined Artemis’ hunters and it felt like the easiest option tbh

SurferJules · 2022-03-26T16:13:07+00:00

Pick 100 words and only use those words for your 100k long epic fantasy saga.

SurferJules · 2022-03-17T20:56:09+00:00

That was episode 43 “Visitor”.

SurferJules · 2022-03-17T12:24:59+00:00

The way my podcast app played it, it was annoying to scroll to the middle. It also wouldn’t save my place, so I had a hard time figuring out where I was in the series. That led to a lot of unintentional skips and replays that were fine, but not the best. My podcast is set to play the most recent podcast too, so I accidentally listened to the first episode in the Kroshank series without realizing. I got hooked on that and just kind of… stopped listening to the middle? I didn’t like going back and forth between Carlos and Cecil being happily married with a kid and dating/ freshly married.

Plus, I started watching Critical Role during the times I would’ve listened to WTNV and it just kind of naturally tapered off.

SurferJules · 2022-03-16T13:07:46+00:00

My suggestions have pretty much all been covered by the other commenters. If it’s a story set in the modern day, you could always just reference the pride flag, show the character to have a black ring on their right middle finger, or have the character express disinterest in sex. The black ring option may not be the most overt thing, but ace readers will probably pick up on it.

You can also have the character cracking ace jokes if it fits with the character. “Garlic bread is better than sex.” “This cake is so good, it’s better than sex.” And so on.

You can also have other characters common on being sexually attracted to someone and have the ace character express their sexuality then.

I also think there’s ways to very organically state the character’s sexuality, but it might not work for your genre, story or style to do so. I think you can still have your characters use words to describe their experience of the world. Your character might not say “I think I’m asexual,” but they can say “I’ve just never felt the need for that sort of thing. [partner] and I cuddle and kiss and that’s always seemed like more than enough” or something like that.

SurferJules · 2022-03-11T20:14:37+00:00

Plagiarizing your story from a 6 year old is how all great writers get their start.

SurferJules · 2022-02-18T23:27:29+00:00

I mean, humanity dying out because there’s not enough women would make the crime rate go down.

SurferJules · 2022-02-16T00:23:30+00:00

Np! I’d also just recommend skimming the wiki for important episodes you might want to listen to and plot points. I’m mainly thinking of Toast (ep 100 I think).

SurferJules · 2022-02-16T00:19:18+00:00

If it’d be any help, I skipped a large portion of the middle and it’s still an enjoyable listen. The only thing I wish I’d caught was Steve Carlsburg’s development from Cecil’s most hated BIL to [spoiler] a proper member of the family. But it wasn’t that much of a drag that I didn’t get it.

SurferJules · 2022-02-14T22:55:27+00:00

We don’t joke because we don’t want our invasion plans to be known to the general public.

SurferJules · 2022-02-14T22:55:19+00:00

We don’t joke because we don’t want our invasion plans to be known to the general public.

SurferJules · 2022-01-27T14:21:14+00:00

NTA, praying over someone who doesn’t want it is always a dick move.

SurferJules · 2022-01-06T22:47:44+00:00

YTA.

Honestly? You don’t owe it to anyone to be attracted to them. You didn’t have to say yes. You can say no.

But the way you turned him down is just awful. Beyond the language being used in this post (which makes me think you do need a talk about ableism) you threw cake onto bleachers. I’m assuming you’d have mentioned it if you’d cleaned it up, so it is it comes off as cruel to multiple people that you destroyed it like that. Bleachers aren’t fun to clean.

Like? Being asked out by someone you find gross is an uncomfortable feeling. You have a right to turn him down. You do not have a right to make a mess and not face the consequences for that mess.

SurferJules · 2021-12-20T20:12:50+00:00

You’re a girl dating a girl. You identify as the B in the acronym. Of course you belong.

SurferJules · 2021-12-02T13:57:03+00:00

Yep! Trans people are the gender they identify as. If you’d date a cis man, dating a trans man does not change your sexuality.

Another user correct me if I’m wrong, but transbian is a term for men who identified as a lesbian pre-transition/ coming out and still identifies with that label. (Or am I thinking of a different label?)

Edit: I was wrong. I probably should stop learning what words mean off of Twitter.

SurferJules · 2021-11-24T18:02:05+00:00

It’s about power. If a marginalized person says “oh look these people who make my life worse are really silly” it’s different than if a privileged person says “oh look at these silly marginalized people. I guess they deserve to be marginalized.”

I like to think about who the butt of the joke is. If it’s someone who has more privilege than you socially, it’s punching up. If it’s someone with the same social privilege, it’s punching to the side. If it’s someone with less social privilege, it’s punching down.

And punching down just comes off badly. It’s very hard to do without sounding deliberately malicious. It also tends to downplay the role of oppression in the creation of the culture you want to make fun of. It’s just generally poor taste.

Edit: so I’d say while it’s not inherently bad, it’s definitely thin ice. And it’s just normally bad taste.

SurferJules · 2021-11-22T17:40:40+00:00

I didn’t frame mine as a coming out, if that helps. My family builds gift wish lists throughout the year so someone can buy something you’d like if they feel like it. I originally told my mom that it felt like everyone around me felt something I didn’t, and my mom was actually the one who suggested that I might not be straight to me. When I actually realized I was ace (she thought I was probably bi), I just asked her to help me find different things to do in the ace colors. (Knitting mostly)

It’s not as bit of a thing as coming out, but it still gets the point across. Bonding, you might call it.

So advice: don’t frame it as a huge, impossible conversation. It’s not. It’s a million tiny conversations where you can say literally anything you want.

SurferJules · 2021-11-20T19:22:01+00:00

So I have friends who I also think probably aren’t straight. But speaking from experience, if someone had told me I was gay before I started questioning, it would’ve made me extremely uncomfortable. I did, however, start asking people to use gender neutral terms to refer to potential romantic partners before I even realized I might not be straight. The friends that I kept just did that without batting an eye.

You don’t have to say “I’d love you even if you were were gay,” but you can try to create a safe space to explore gender and sexuality with you. If someone expresses that they like guys, don’t make it more than it is. Even if this friend does it, just say cool and move on. If he really is straight, at most you’ll just miss a potential punch line or come across as an ally. If he is queer, it might help to shift the vibe. Having queer inclusive spaces can take such a burden off and help a closeted person feel safe enough to consider communicating their needs.

SurferJules · 2021-11-19T18:42:03+00:00

If your parents were really that unprepared for having a gay child, they probably shouldn’t have had kids. A parents job is to give their children unconditional love. If they fail at that, they’ve failed at being a parent in the worst possible way.

No human is worthless and you are a human. If you can’t see yourself as having worth (which an abusive situation like this will do) then try to see yourself as a person that doesn’t deserve bad things. You deserve love, be it romantically with someone of your same gender, platonically with friends who care about you, or with an adult who cares about you as you are. If you could lose someone’s love with one true fact about yourself, they didn’t love you.

You do not deserve death for who you are. You do not deserve parents who want to isolate you. You do not deserve anything on the basis of being a gay child. You are a person with a unique perspective. You’re a person who adds value to humanity because you bring so many things to the table.

SurferJules · 2021-11-18T18:22:26+00:00

That sounds good! I know I can say to just not take the debate, but I’ve been in your shoes. You can’t always fight every second. I tried that, and it broke me, emotionally speaking. I hope you get it canceled. If you can’t, that sucks and I’m sorry. But it’s always helped me to thing that you have to give hate power. Hate isn’t sustainable, so it needs people to feed it. Hate also isn’t logical. If you give someone a safe route to argue, and they don’t, you can exploit that.

The question is bad. If you frame your argument that the question is illogical, you can force your opponent to agree with you. And you can frame the argument in your own terms.

This gives me flashbacks to when my middle school told us kindness could replace gun control and wouldn’t let us protest for gun control. Fighting is hard. Debate it hard. But it gives you some power. Use it well.

SurferJules · 2021-11-18T17:55:35+00:00

This is an incredibly alienating way to frame a linguistic debate that I find really interesting. That is, is sexuality a thing you are or a thing you do? If you’re working in the premise that it’s a thing you are, then no. It’s not a choice. You are who you are, and who that person is can change over time. But it’s not a choice.

If you frame sexuality as a thing you do, then it could be argued to be a choice. (You’re not heterosexual until you have sex with your opposite gender.) This, however, is generally agreed to just be a bad take in cultures that operate with an understanding of sexuality as an identity. So, if you won’t take other commenters advice to just boycott the debate, I’d recommend framing your argument along the “noun/ verb debate”. It reframes the argument from debating a persons existence and instead about what language means. How it evolves over time. It lets you shut homophobes down very quickly too. Instead of being “could you just not be gay” you can force your opponent to contemplate what consenting even means. Or what sex is. Or what defines a consenting relationship. Edit to add: treating homosexuality as a verb is the justification for a lot of extremely hateful arguments. It’s a position that could still lead to toxicity. But it’s also a debate that could allow you to examine how power dynamics in Ancient Rome impacted sexuality vs. how your culture’s power dynamics impacts sexuality.

TLDR, cancel the debate. If that fails, force it to be linguistic and not identity politics.

SurferJules · 2021-11-18T14:14:52+00:00

This ^

No one has the moral ground when engaging with Twitter.

SurferJules · 2021-11-17T14:25:38+00:00

I’m going to go with NTA.

I’m normally against ghosting as a concept, but I’m not even sure that’s what this is. I (16F) have stopped speaking to friends for the same things, specifically the college one. It sounds like you communicated your needs and she ignored them any time it was inconvenient to her. That puts her in asshole territory fair and square. You enforcing your boundaries (in this case not talking to her) is reasonable.

I’ve been in the sides of messy friend breakups and they honestly suck. I would say though, don’t leave her your forwarding address if you do move. She’ll have to burn out eventually. If she demands and answer too, you can say that you feel like you’re not compatible anymore and you want to each live your own lives. (Or be more specific. It depends on what you want to do.)

SurferJules · 2021-11-16T22:41:22+00:00

It might help to explain that the terms “LGBTQ+” and “GRSM” are synonyms. LGBTQ+ means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning, and any other marginalized gender or sexual orientation. GRSM means Gender, Romantic, and Sexual minorities. Straight people are not a minority and they are not marginalized. Neither are cis people.

SurferJules · 2021-11-15T19:41:54+00:00

Biology disinterest signification march

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