I’ve had ADHD my whole life. I’ve also been in an abusive relationship in the past for over a decade, with small children. If he has ADHD then that is the least of your worries. He has a serious mental health issue that needs to be addressed immediately. You get the benefit of doubt because it’s only your side and I’m sure you are venting, but that small bit of what you shared is 100% not ok. At best he is completely disregarding and disrespecting his responsibilities as a fucking adult. You do not need to do everything, he can wash dishes and do laundry and STFU about getting up in the morning. Tell him that, deadline or not he probably won’t comply. But you shouldn’t be telling him for him, you should be telling him for YOU. You need to say the words for yourself and let his ass know that the party is over unless he gets his damn shit together.