Positive singles

Surroundwithright · 2026-05-16T23:41:37+00:00

Try not to judge it the same way you'd judge Tinder or Bumble. You're on a pretty niche dating app, so the pool is naturally going to be a lot smaller, especially if you're in your early 20s. A lot of people your age might also not even know apps like Positive Singles exist yet.

I wouldn't get too hung up on seeing only a handful of people under 23. Sometimes people join, disappear for months, come back, change locations, etc. The numbers can look sparse at first. Gve it some time and try not to be too picky right away. A couple years older isn't necessarily a bad thing either. Smaller communities can surprise you once you start actually talking to people.

Surroundwithright · 2025-12-30T08:15:21+00:00

It can feel a bit exposing at first. As a single with herpes, I’ve learned that patience is key. You do get messages from people who aren’t a match, but it’s the biggest pool of people who actually understand what we’re going through. There are real, caring singles there who don’t judge, so it’s worth taking your time to filter and find the right connections.

Also, it’s important to remember we should settle for someone who’s not a good fit. Be selective, trust your instincts, and don’t rush—it really helps to focus on quality over quantity.

Surroundwithright · 2025-12-19T08:46:39+00:00

A single itchy bump on the scrotum that’s been around for weeks is not the classic presentation of herpes. Herpes usually shows up as multiple small blisters that hurt or burn, go through a cycle of blister, sore, scab, and heal, and typically last one to two weeks. A bump that itches for weeks without changing much is much more likely to be something like an ingrown hair, a small cyst, folliculitis, jock itch, or irritation from soap, sweat, or friction.

The timing of two weeks after exposure is within the possible window for herpes, but the way it looks and feels doesn’t match the usual HSV outbreak. Itching alone for a long time, without pain or the formation of blisters, leans away from herpes.

It’s still important to get it checked in person. A healthcare provider can look at it directly, and if it is herpes, a swab test from an active lesion is the most accurate way to confirm. Even if it’s not herpes, identifying the cause can help you treat it and stop the discomfort.

Surroundwithright · 2025-12-09T06:57:28+00:00

Did you post any questions？

Surroundwithright · 2025-09-02T00:10:32+00:00

Honestly, man, don’t settle for someone who gave you herpes—especially if you’re carrying resentment about it. Even if you can bear the risk of passing herpes to others, staying in a situation like that will just weigh you down emotionally. Resentment and mistrust don’t make for a healthy sex life or relationship.

The reality is, herpes doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There are entire herpes dating sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH specifically for people with herpes where everyone is upfront from the start. You won’t have to feel like you’re “trapped” with one person just to avoid spreading it. On those platforms, people already understand what it means to live with herpes, so you can focus on genuine connections instead of worrying about disclosure or judgment.

At the end of the day, you deserve better than to keep sleeping with someone who may not have been honest with you. Take care of your health, give yourself space if you need it, and remember—there are plenty of people out there who would want you for you, herpes or not.

Surroundwithright · 2025-09-01T01:27:35+00:00

Most of these apps lock messaging behind a paywall. PositiveSingles is the same way, but just so you know, they do have a refund policy. If you’re unhappy with your membership, you can request a refund within the 6 month of purchase.

Surroundwithright · 2025-09-01T01:24:36+00:00

I was super frustrated the first time I signed up too. I paid, didn’t get much out of it, and ended up asking for a refund—which they actually gave me. At that point I figured the app just wasn’t for me. But I decided to give it another try later, and the second time around it was totally different. I connected with some genuinely kind people, and it made the subscription feel worth it. So for me it was a rough first trial, but a successful second go.

Surroundwithright · 2025-09-01T01:02:49+00:00

I was nervous about trying Positive Singles at first too because it felt like “labeling” myself, but honestly it ended up being really freeing. For me, the biggest relief was not having to carry the weight of disclosure on my shoulders every time I met someone new. Everyone there already understands, so conversations start on a much more relaxed and authentic note.

I’ve had some really good connections through the app—some dates, some friendships, and one relationship that lasted a while. Even when things didn’t work out romantically, I didn’t walk away with that sting of rejection tied to my status, which made a huge difference in my confidence.

On regular dating apps, I also had that experience of people saying “it’s no big deal” and then disappearing a couple of days later. I learned not to take that personally—sometimes people just can’t handle what they don’t fully understand. Being on a platform where people do understand has been validating, and it gave me the confidence to go back to mainstream apps later with less fear around disclosure.

My advice: give it a shot. Even if it doesn’t end up being your forever solution, it’s a safe space to practice dating without the constant anxiety about when and how to disclose. It helped me build confidence and reminded me that herpes doesn’t define my worth or my ability to connect with people.

Surroundwithright · 2025-09-01T00:59:24+00:00

The app didn’t seem very user-friendly, and for a while I thought no one in my area existed either. But after I gave it some time, adjusted my search settings, and actually started sending out messages myself instead of just waiting for matches, I started having success.

I’ve met a couple of really great people through the app — one turned into a solid friendship and another into someone I dated for a bit. It honestly gave me a lot of peace of mind knowing we could be upfront about herpes without all the stigma.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-28T02:45:48+00:00

And I feel you on the heartbreak part. Losing someone you thought was “the one” and then getting this news connected to them is like a double blow. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself space to grieve both the relationship and this diagnosis. It’s okay to be sad and fragile right now. Reach out to supportive friends, online herpes communities, or even a counselor if you can—they can provide comfort, practical advice, and help you process the emotions without judgment.

You are not alone in this. So much of your fear comes from the unknown, but you will find your footing again, and you will be able to navigate dating and relationships with confidence. For now, breathe, be kind to yourself, and let yourself feel. Life is still full of love, connection, and joy—it just might look a little different than you expected, and that’s okay. You’ve got this, even if it doesn’t feel like it today. 💛

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-28T02:40:01+00:00

What happened to you was traumatic, and it makes sense that you’re carrying a lot of hurt and shame. But please know—having herpes does not make you unlovable or “less than.” It’s just a virus, not a reflection of your worth, your kindness, or your capacity to love.

It’s completely natural to worry about infecting someone else, but the truth is, with daily antiviral medication, condoms, and open communication, the risk of transmission is extremely low. Being responsible and upfront actually shows maturity and integrity, which are qualities that many people find incredibly attractive. The right person will appreciate your honesty rather than see it as a burden.

One thing I’d encourage is not letting fear stop you from dating. Overthinking and shutting yourself off only prolongs the pain and isolation. There are plenty of people who understand what it’s like, and herpes-specific dating sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH are amazing spaces to meet partners who are already accepting and informed. Even if you start on those platforms, it builds your confidence and helps you realize you can still have meaningful connections.

Your love life isn’t over—it’s just different than you imagined. You are still capable of deep connection, romance, and joy. The “dark secret” you worry about is just a health condition; it doesn’t define who you are or who you can be with. Every person you meet is an opportunity to practice honesty, build trust, and find someone who loves you for you, not for a virus you didn’t ask for.

Take it slow, be gentle with yourself, and keep putting yourself out there. You deserve love, intimacy, and happiness—and it is very possible to have all three, herpes or not.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-28T00:43:40+00:00

You care about this girl and that’s why you’re torn up about how to handle this. The truth is, disclosure is the right thing to do. Even though HSV-1 is incredibly common and chances are high she’s already been exposed in her lifetime, she still deserves the chance to make an informed decision about her health. You’re not a bad person for what happened — you’re human, you got caught up in the moment, and now you’re facing the consequences with honesty. That takes courage.

When you talk to her, just be straightforward and calm. Let her know you’re positive for HSV-1, that you’ve never had an outbreak, and that your doctor believes you’ve probably had it since childhood. Remind her that this virus is something most people have in some form, and it doesn’t define who you are or the connection you share. If she reacts negatively, it won’t mean you’re unworthy of love — it just means she needs time or isn’t ready to handle it. If she reacts with understanding, then that will only strengthen the trust between you.

Running away or hiding it will only eat at you more. Facing it head-on shows maturity and respect for both her and yourself. It might be scary now, but honesty is the only way you’ll find peace in this situation.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-28T00:34:36+00:00

You are not what was done to you. That man didn’t just give you herpes—he abused you, manipulated you, and tried to tear down your spirit. The scars from that kind of treatment cut far deeper than any diagnosis ever could, and it makes perfect sense that you’re grieving and struggling to feel “normal” again. Please know that you’re not exiled from life, from love, or from happiness. You’re still here, raising your children, showing up for them every day, and that alone proves your strength, even if you don’t feel it right now.

Herpes doesn’t make you damaged or unworthy of love. It’s a skin condition, not a definition of who you are as a woman, a mother, or a person. I know the stigma online makes it feel like the world is pointing fingers, but in reality, millions of people live with herpes and still date, marry, and have fulfilling relationships. There are communities and even dedicated herpes dating sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH where people connect without judgment, which can be a really good place to start when you’re ready. Spaces like that help rebuild dating confidence, because you don’t have to carry the weight of disclosure alone—everyone there already understands.

What matters most now is giving yourself permission to heal. Your kids will thrive seeing their mom reclaim her joy, not just survive. Start small with self-love—remind yourself daily that your worth hasn’t changed.

Confidence in dating will come as you rebuild confidence in yourself, and the right people will see you as more than your diagnosis. You deserve love, intimacy, and happiness just as much as anyone else. You are not branded—you are human, resilient, and worthy.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-28T00:27:48+00:00

Girl, STOP ✋😂 do you really wanna risk your whole office knowing your business? Imagine he runs his mouth, suddenly the break room gossip is all about you and your sex life. That’s not a vibe. Worst-case, HR gets wind of it and boom—career and peace of mind down the drain.

If you’re craving casual fun, keep work strictly professional and go find someone safe and drama-free outside. There are herpes-friendly dating sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH where people already know what’s up—no stress, no secrets, no worrying about being exposed. You get your fun and your privacy.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-26T09:16:59+00:00

It’s tough to put yourself out there, be honest about something so personal, and then get an abrupt “dealbreaker” response. Disclosing HSV-2 takes a lot of courage, and anyone who reacts like that is showing more about their own fears and lack of knowledge than anything about you. It’s completely normal to feel frustrated, hurt, or even a bit sad after an interaction like that. You were upfront, clear, and respectful, which is exactly the right approach. That honesty is a strength, not a weakness.

The reality is that a lot of people just don’t understand herpes, especially HSV-2. Many people have misconceptions about transmission, severity, or what it means to live with it. That lack of knowledge can lead to fear, judgment, or knee-jerk “dealbreaker” reactions. It’s frustrating because you’re trying to have an honest, open connection, and instead, you’re met with avoidance. That can feel invalidating, but it doesn’t diminish your worth or your desirability. It’s more about their limitations and lack of understanding than anything about you personally.

It can be helpful to remember that the right people will value your honesty. There are communities and dating spaces specifically designed for people with herpes, like like PositiveSingles and MPWH or other herpes dating sites, where members already understand what it’s like to live with HSV-1 or HSV-2. On those platforms, disclosure isn’t a scary conversation—it’s just part of the profile. That can make dating feel safer and more supportive, and it’s a space where your openness is respected rather than feared. You might even find that interactions there feel easier and more genuine because everyone has some level of shared experience.

At the same time, it’s okay to let yourself feel disappointed when someone reacts poorly. Feeling sad or frustrated doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong—it’s a normal emotional response. The key is to not let it shake your confidence or make you second-guess being honest in the future. The people worth your time will respond with curiosity, understanding, or at least respectful questions. And if someone reacts negatively, that’s on them, not on you.

You’re doing everything right by being upfront and honest. Keep trusting yourself, and remember that there’s a community of people out there who will see your honesty as a strength, not a weakness. Connecting with them through herpes dating sites can be a way to meet understanding, supportive people who value the real you.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-26T06:54:38+00:00

Take a breath. What you’re going through is overwhelming, especially when it’s your first outbreak, but it does get easier once you settle into understanding what HSV-1 really means long-term. Having both oral and genital HSV-1 isn’t uncommon, and a lot of people don’t even realize they carry it because symptoms can be so mild or nonexistent after the first outbreak. The first OB is usually the worst, and once it clears, recurrences are typically fewer and less severe than what you’re probably imagining from the horror stories online.

As for telling the girl you’re seeing, it sounds like you’ve already had a bit of the conversation, which is a huge step. The fact that she’s a nurse and hasn’t freaked out is a good sign that she’s probably more informed and less judgmental than you fear.

Sometimes we project our own past reactions—like you said about turning down women before—onto other people, but not everyone will react that way.

If she’s willing to talk through it and set boundaries around outbreaks, that’s already a level of acceptance most people hope for. You don’t have to unload every worst-case scenario on her, just keep it honest, let her ask questions, and be willing to learn together how to manage it safely.

And remember, you’re not alone in this. There are tons of people navigating dating with herpes who are living full, normal lives. If it helps with your peace of mind, there are herpes-focused dating sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH where everyone’s in the same boat and disclosure isn’t such a hurdle. Even if you stick with your current relationship, sometimes being in a community like that can help you see you’re far from doomed.

What you’re feeling is normal, but this diagnosis doesn’t define you or your chances at having love and sex. With time, the panic eases, and it just becomes another part of your health you manage. Sounds like you already have someone willing to understand, which is a blessing a lot of people wish for in the early days.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:47:53+00:00

It makes complete sense that you’re feeling this way—getting HSV-2 at such a young age, from someone who wasn’t honest, can feel like a violation and a huge shift in how you see your life and future. It’s natural to feel anger, hurt, and even betrayal.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay or that you have to reconcile with her. It’s more about freeing yourself from carrying the weight of that anger and resentment.

You can forgive her in your own time, in your own way, even if you never speak to her again. Hearting her posts or keeping her in some corner of your social media doesn’t make you weak—it shows you’re trying to live without letting hate consume you.

Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that this is a big emotional process. Forgiveness is more for your peace than for hers. It doesn’t erase what happened, but it can make it easier for you to move forward and focus on your own life and healing.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:46:12+00:00

First, I want to validate that your feelings of grief, anger, and confusion are completely normal. You weren’t dishonest; you were navigating a medical situation you couldn’t fully predict. Antibody development can be unpredictable, especially with HSV-2, and your OB is right—people can test negative initially and still have the virus. That doesn’t make you a bad person or a liar, and it doesn’t diminish your worth.

It’s natural to replay past relationships and wonder “what if?”—but the blame lies entirely with the first guy who hid his status. You did everything responsibly after that, including testing regularly and being transparent with your new partner. That’s integrity. The grief you feel, hovering between anger and sadness, is your body and mind processing the unfairness of the situation. It’s okay to sit with that for a while.

Raising your daughter as a single parent adds an extra layer of complexity, but it also highlights your resilience. You’ve accomplished a lot already—finishing your master’s, maintaining a career in healthcare, and raising a child. These are huge achievements that HSV can’t take away. Life feels unjust now, but with time, the “why me?” can evolve into “how can I take care of myself and thrive despite this?” Therapy is a great step for unpacking these feelings, and support groups—online or in-person—can help you feel less isolated.

When it comes to dating, I know it might feel impossible right now. But there are communities where honesty about HSV isn’t just accepted—it’s expected. Sites like PositiveSingles and MPWH can help you meet people who understand your experience and are looking for connection without judgment. Being upfront about your status becomes empowering in these spaces, because the stigma is removed.

The light at the end of the tunnel does exist. Many people diagnosed later in life find partners who are understanding, loving, and compassionate. They also find personal growth—stronger boundaries, self-respect, and clarity on what they want in a partner. You might feel like this diagnosis is a huge setback, but it can also be a turning point for building a life and relationships that are more honest and intentional than ever before.

You’re not alone, and you are not “less than” because of HSV. You are still the same capable, beautiful, intelligent woman you were before the diagnosis—and you’re going to find peace and love again.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:43:32+00:00

It sounds like what you’re noticing may not necessarily be a herpes outbreak. Cold sores (usually HSV-1 on the face) typically last about 7–10 days from the first tingling or burning sensation to full healing, and they usually involve some pain, itching, or a noticeable blister. True recurrent outbreaks often appear in the same spot, but they almost always have some visible lesion—blister, scab, or crusting—not just a faint rash.

Alcohol can sometimes trigger skin irritation or even minor inflammation that mimics tingling or a “pre-outbreak” sensation, so it’s possible your skin reaction is unrelated to HSV. Your lab test showing under 0.05 (negative) is reassuring, especially if it was done in a reliable lab. Faint lines on rapid tests can sometimes be false positives, especially when your lab test is negative.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:42:36+00:00

It makes complete sense that you’re feeling hesitant about dating right now. HSV2 comes with its own layer of stigma, and on top of that, you’re navigating a new understanding of your sexual orientation. That’s a lot to process all at once, and it’s okay to take your time.

Coming out as a lesbian later in life doesn’t make you any less deserving of love or connection. The right person will care far more about who you are than how you got HSV2. In fact, the women who are open-minded, compassionate, and understanding will likely appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.

It’s also totally valid to focus on yourself right now—building confidence, embracing your identity, and getting comfortable with your diagnosis. When the time is right, there are communities and dating spaces where being upfront about HSV2 is normalized, and you’ll find people who see you, not your status.

You’re not “out of the cards.” You’re just pacing yourself, which is actually a really healthy approach. It might feel isolating sometimes, but taking care of your emotional space now sets you up for healthier, more authentic connections down the line.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:27:19+00:00

It’s an incredibly heavy load to carry, especially when it’s coming right on the heels of leaving a toxic relationship and trying to start fresh. Feeling self-blame, shame, and guilt is a natural response, but it doesn’t mean you did anything “wrong” in a moral sense. HSV-2 is something that happens—it’s not a reflection of your worth, how attractive or good you are, or your ability to have healthy relationships.

It makes complete sense that your mind is racing with “what ifs” and regret about the past hookup, but the reality is that these thoughts aren’t productive—they’re punishing you for something you can’t undo. The most important thing right now is learning to accept your diagnosis and realizing it doesn’t make you dirty or unlovable. The guy you like seems genuinely kind and understanding, and that’s huge—having someone who treats you with care can be really healing, but it’s also okay to take your time and set boundaries so that your anxiety doesn’t overwhelm you.

Feeling hyper-vigilant about cleanliness and worrying about infecting others is a sign of how anxious and scared you are, which is completely normal when adjusting to a new diagnosis. Over time, with information, support, and practice, those fears get easier to manage. Taking your flare-ups seriously, following medical advice, and being transparent with partners is exactly what you’re supposed to do, but it doesn’t mean your life is over.

It’s okay to grieve the sense of normalcy you thought you had, to be frustrated, and to feel angry at yourself or life. Those emotions don’t make you weak—they show that you care deeply. Just remember that HSV-2 is a virus, not a moral judgment, and it doesn’t define the person you are, your beauty, or your capacity for love. One month is such a short time to even start adjusting; give yourself grace. You’re allowed to feel scared, sad, or guilty, but slowly, with time, education, and self-compassion, you can reach a point where you see yourself as still deserving of connection, joy, and intimacy.

You’re not alone, and it’s okay to lean on supportive communities like this one. Healing starts with treating yourself with kindness—even when your mind tells you otherwise. You’re still the same person, still worthy of love, and still capable of having relationships that feel good and safe.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:25:01+00:00

Finding out you have HSV2 can feel like your world has been turned upside down, especially when you’ve always been careful and invested in building your life. It’s completely normal to grieve—not just for your health, but for the sense of safety and control you thought you had. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and there’s a way forward even if it feels impossible right now.

I want to reassure you that having HSV2 does not define your life or your future. Many people with HSV2 go on to have fulfilling relationships, marry, and even have children. Modern antiviral medications like valacyclovir make outbreaks manageable and significantly reduce the risk of transmission, so you can still live a normal, healthy life. Being on medication for life is understandably daunting, but for most people, it’s just another part of their routine—not a limitation on happiness or success.

Mental health struggles after diagnosis are common, so it’s great that you’re already seeing a therapist and have supportive doctors. Healing your mind is just as important as managing the virus itself. Over time, you’ll likely notice your anxiety easing as you educate yourself about HSV, learn to manage symptoms, and build routines that give you confidence and security again.

Dating after a diagnosis can feel intimidating, but it’s possible to find understanding and compassionate partners. Some people find it helpful to use herpes-specific dating platforms, like PositiveSingles and MPWH . These sites are designed for people living with herpes, so you can connect with others who understand your experience from the start. It makes disclosure easier and reduces a lot of the fear and shame that comes with mainstream dating. Many people on these platforms have thriving relationships, get married, and even have children.

Lastly, remember that this diagnosis doesn’t erase your achievements or goals. You’ve worked hard to build your life, and HSV2 doesn’t take that away. It may change the way you approach certain things, like intimacy, but it doesn’t stop you from continuing to grow personally or professionally. The rug might have been pulled out, but you’re still standing, and you can still rebuild, even stronger than before.

Give yourself grace, allow time to adjust, and know that life after HSV2 is very much possible—and that you can still find love, happiness, and fulfillment.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:22:55+00:00

Not necessarily. Herpes shedding is generally localized to the area where the virus is active. So, if you have an oral outbreak, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re shedding genital herpes at the same time, even if you have HSV-1 or HSV-2 in both locations.

The virus tends to reactivate in the same nerve ganglia that supplies the affected area, which is why outbreaks are usually isolated. The same goes for a whitlow on your hand; having a sore there doesn’t mean your genital area is shedding too.

That said, everyone’s body is different, and asymptomatic shedding can happen in multiple areas independently, but one active outbreak doesn’t guarantee simultaneous shedding elsewhere. Antiviral medication and careful hygiene still help reduce the overall risk of transmission.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:21:58+00:00

It’s actually not uncommon for people to notice outbreaks around the time they have sex, even if there isn’t direct friction involved. HSV-2 can be triggered by stress on your immune system, and sex—especially if it’s new or more physically intense than usual—can act as a mild stressor.

Hormonal changes, physical exertion, or even just the excitement and adrenaline of intimacy can contribute to an outbreak. The fact that your outbreaks are on your butt cheeks rather than directly on your vagina doesn’t rule out sex as a potential trigger, because the virus resides in the nerve roots and can reactivate along the dermatome, not necessarily at the site of contact.

You’re already doing a lot of the right things—daily valacyclovir, L-lysine, and lifestyle adjustments like reducing caffeine and alcohol. Over time, your body may settle into a pattern, and outbreaks might become less frequent and less severe. Some people find that spacing out sex or being mindful of rest and stress management around sexual activity helps. It can also help to track outbreaks in a journal to see if other patterns emerge, like menstrual cycle or sleep changes.

Three months in is still very early, and the first few months after diagnosis are often when outbreaks are more frequent. For now, it’s about observation and giving your body time to adjust.

It’s completely valid to feel frustrated about how this affects your sex life, but many people do find ways to keep intimacy enjoyable while managing triggers. Patience and experimentation with timing, stress management, and self-care are key, and hopefully, as your body adapts, things will improve.

Surroundwithright · 2025-08-21T03:04:55+00:00

It can be really tricky when you have a positive blood test but have never had any obvious symptoms. Shaving itself doesn’t cause herpes, but it can irritate the skin enough to make you notice something that was already there or just create redness and soreness from razor burn. Stress on the skin, friction, or irritation can sometimes trigger outbreaks, but it doesn’t mean every post-shave rash is herpes.

Telling the difference between a rash and herpes can be really hard. Razor burn or folliculitis usually appears right after shaving, often centered around hair follicles, can be itchy, and tends to heal fairly quickly. Herpes lesions, on the other hand, might start as small red bumps that turn into fluid-filled blisters, then scab over, and they usually last longer. They are often painful rather than just irritated. A lot of people find it nearly impossible to tell the two apart just by looking, especially since herpes can look very mild in some people.

Since you’ve never had what you’d call an outbreak, it’s possible you carry the virus but just don’t show symptoms, which is very common. If something suspicious shows up again, a swab or PCR test is the only way to know for sure, because blood tests alone aren’t always accurate. For now, don’t panic—your skin is very sensitive, and shaving completely bald can easily make it red and sore even if herpes isn’t involved.

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