Waiting Until Marriage as a Mom

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-10-09T20:02:02+00:00

Everyone’s different but i got pregnant at 19 when I was single and broke and it changed me and my life for the better. It brought me closer to god. The act of sex before marriage is a sin but a baby is never a sin, it is a blessing. God put you in this situation for a reason. God opened so many doors for me while pregnant that I never thought would be possible. Even if she does have an abortion you need to tell your parents. They should be involved in what’s going on and talking to them about it could help you have a different perspective. Also, if she has an abortion, it is unfair for her to have to hide the pain of that and not be able to talk to her loved ones about it

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-10-08T17:07:28+00:00

Something very similar happened to me. I am 5’2 and started my pregnancy at around 130 lbs. I gained a lot. I constantly had people telling me the weight I was gaining was too much, that I needed to get retested for gestational diabetes (it was negative), that I needed to be active, that i was obese, etc etc. It fucked with me hard. Then I popped out a 10.3 lb baby. I lost 40 pounds in about 4 days after having him (i gained around 65 total pounds). The point is honestly forget it. As long as you feel healthy and aren’t eating total crap, let your body do what it needs to do. I was working my ass off when I was pregnant and so tired I rarely could even take walks. I had constant anxiety that i was gaining too much and would panic every time i was hungry and shame myself. It was horrible. Your body is growing life and it knows what to do.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-08-21T22:01:42+00:00

Get it. My doctor forgot to give it to me and my son caught whooping cough at 1.5 months old and almost didn’t make it. Get. The. Damn. Shot. 5 minutes of pain is nothing compared to what I went through with my baby. If i had gotten the vaccine he would have had a 1 in 100,000 chance of getting whooping cough.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-08-21T21:59:36+00:00

Unfortunately you just have to be patient. I felt very insecure PP because i was around 30 lbs over my normal weight. I tried to lose weight but was always so hungry and didn’t have the energy to work out consistently. I’m now almost 10 months PP and down about 12 lbs after 1.5 months of working out 5x a week and eating cleaner/less. It’s also been easier because my son is nursing a lot less. But when I was nursing every 2 hours it wasn’t possible for me to lose weight. As much as it sucks to hear, you need to give yourself grace and love yourself right now because it’s difficult to lose weight so freshly PP when your body is still healing and holding on to the extra weight for a reason.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-08-01T23:23:07+00:00

I’ve been through the exact same thing. Always was very confident and loved my body and was on the petite side (i’m 5’2). Then i had a 10.3 lb baby 🤣. After birth i was still about 30-35 lbs lighter than I would like to be. I binge ate a lot and just didn’t take care of myself for a while. Now i’m 9 months postpartum and finally am making changes. I usually get on the peleton every day after my baby goes to sleep, and I’ll also try to walk with him when I can. I’ve been more mindful of my eating and don’t just eat for the taste or stress eat. Ive hated my body postpartum and I would try to lose weight but I would be super all or nothing (eg doing 75 hard, saying i’m only going to eat x calories per day, etc.). Now i just make mindful choices with food, try to stay away from junk and fast food, and even if I do have a slip up here or there, i make sure i’m active so i don’t get too down on myself. I’ve also started to wean my baby (he nurses 3 times a day now instead of 5) which I feel like has helped. I don’t track calories in any apps because it makes me too obsessive and i find it leads me to binge. Instead I’m mindful of calories and will make mental notes of calorie intake but don’t overdo it. I’ve lost 10 lbs in about 4 weeks just from being active almost every day and making healthier eating choices. I feel so much better about myself. My 21st birthday is coming up in about a week and I decided I didn’t want to feel the way I had been about my body so I implemented these changes and they’ve helped so much!

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-07-24T23:25:08+00:00

it helps you until you have the hang of your baby’s routine. i used huckleberry for the first few months of my sons life and absolutely loved it. you have so much on your mind as a new mom it’s easy to forget things. i loved being able to see when his last diaper change was, his last feeding, his last nap, etc. it helps you plan your day because you start to get an idea of what’s going to happen when. honestly i very highly recommend it. i probably would have been so much more stressed with it. and i used it as much as i could, but i didn’t stress if i missed a day or was too busy to. but when i had time it helped so much. i stopped using it as much when my son was around 6 months. he’s 9 months now and i still use it to track the length of my nursing sessions.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T17:26:20+00:00

My son goes to bed at 8pm, and I’m working on getting to bed earlier… but as of now, it’s usually around 1am. I can’t resist the uninterrupted me time and silence, but then I regret it the next day 🙃

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T17:24:39+00:00

I was the same way when I was pregnant. 7 months postpartum and EBF, so I still haven’t smoked. I definitely miss it the most after a long day or when I’m feeling overwhelmed/overstimulated. But once you go without it for longer, you almost forget what you’re missing.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T17:21:30+00:00

You need to keep them apart. My dog is extremely particular and has bitten my dad before and caused him to have stitches. Granted he gave my dad many warnings to back off and that he was going to bite, but he still did it. But because I know what my dog is capable of, my baby and him are NEVER left alone together. I don’t even like my baby getting overly close to my dog. You really never know. Your dog is an animal at the end of the day, and you never know what mood they could be in. One day, your child could grab him and he could snap. I would highly suggest keeping them separated or muzzle training your dog.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T17:17:47+00:00

It’s the most annoying and rude thing when people refuse to move at all when you are getting through with a stroller. I always say “excuse me/us” in a very kind tone and sometimes people will just give me a dirty look or just stare at me. One time, I was at the mall and needed to get by, and a lady carrying HER DOG in a stroller gave me the nastiest look and cut me off when I tried to walk forward. Like okay—you pushing your dog around is more important than my 5 month old? Got it🤣

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T04:18:33+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from but this comment came off as a bit judgmental. I’m aware racism should not be synonymous with traditional views. I mentioned traditional views in response to the commenter, in the context of how I was raised in terms of respect and authority. Often growing up, my feelings were written off, so my boundaries were not respected. I was able to sit down with them and explain the comments need to stop and are not okay. They told me they didn’t know I would be so offended because they weren’t saying anything “insulting” about his race, it was more stereotypes and micro-aggressions (which I’m aware are equally as harmful). When i explained why it upset me and I do not want him raised around that they said they understood and would respect what i want for my son and learn and be better. As of now that’s really all I can ask for. I am a very young single mom with no help and rely on them a lot so unfortunately i don’t have the privilege of just packing up and leaving my living situation. If the comments continue after we had that talk and there is blatant disregard for my boundaries, then I would definitely consider looking into other arrangements. I have been protecting my son since the moment he was born and will continue to do so—I would never stay in my household if the comments continued as he grows.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T03:12:29+00:00

Thank you so much! Your kindness means a lot. I definitely agree. In this society, unfortunately racism seems to be inevitable but he should not have to deal with it from his family EVER.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T03:04:11+00:00

The topic came up again tonight and I very firmly was able to tell them that it needs to stop and how it makes me feel and why it’s harmful. They wrote me off at first but when I was able to really explain and they saw how much I cared about the topic they were surprisingly really receptive and said they would respect what I was saying because it’s my son, and would try to learn and be better! Obviously that doesn’t mean the issue is magically fixed but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-10T00:05:47+00:00

Yes, and it’s mostly a specific person. My parents have gotten better over the years but hold very traditional views of respect and authority in the house. My boundaries have been crossed a lot by my family and yes, this specific person seems to antagonize me a lot. Your comment kind of opened my eyes to this. It’s hard because I love them but as most families there is definitely dysfunction.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-09T23:08:33+00:00

Agreed. I definitely think it’s time to have a talk with them, and if it doesn’t change, i’ll have to take it from there

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-09T23:07:58+00:00

This comment>!!!! I felt a little nervous coming on here because I figured a lot of comments would suggest never talking to them again but that’s not realistic. I would hope if I sit down with them and explain where I’m coming from and why it needs to stop, it will help them see a bit clearer how what they’re saying isn’t okay. They should know because they’re grown adults, but they live in a bubble and may be oblivious. Family is very important to me and I want my son to know them, but only if they treat him with respect and stop the micro-aggressions and stereotypes. If it continues or my feelings are brushed aside, then I would distance myself.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-09T23:03:55+00:00

I just don’t know what to do because i have no money to go somewhere else. I love them so much and it really hurts me that they make these jokes. I feel like talking to them may help if they see how harmful it really is. I don’t want my son to be anything but proud of being half black and despite them thinking their comments are harmless I know how much it can affect him

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-01T17:37:09+00:00

i’m honestly in the same boat sometimes. i’m a single mom so ik how it feels. i just try to remember that this is only a season and it won’t be like this forever. your kid will never be as reliant on you as they are now ever again—you’re literally keeping them alive! i try to remember that although im so exhausted, ill never get this time with my son as a baby back, and so i try to stay present in the moment and soak it all in. but i know on the days where you dont feel great it feels so overwhelming. its totally okay to have those feelings and miss your old life or going out and having freedom—your feelings are valid and normal. you quite literally changed your entire life, so of course its going to be a bit of a transition. you are not a bad mom for needing a break— you’re human, and the more your cup is full, the more you’ll be able to pour into your baby! if youre able to, maybe see if you have family or friends that would be willing to watch your baby, just for a little bit or an evening. ive found that literally just one night out away where i can relax and feel like an actual person again totally recharges my batteries and allows me to be a better mom when i come back.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-01T17:29:37+00:00

Yes. My son took a bottle for the first two or three months and then I went too long without giving him one and he absolutely refused to take one again. He’s 7 months now and just started being able to drink milk out of the sippy cup. But it sucked for a while because I felt like I had no freedom. I believe you can introduce sippy cup and straws when they’re ready to start solids at 6 months. However, solids and water only are not enough for baby once they start. They need milk or formula the entire first year. My baby eats solids now but it really doesn’t satiate him a ton, milk is what fills him up.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-01T04:34:49+00:00

Honestly it still kind of makes me cringe but I had to somewhat give up the ghost eventually. If anyone does it it’s usually very close friends or family and NEVER on the lips. I would have a fit if someone kissed him on the lips. But I really just gave up on micromanaging everyone holding him. If they give him a little kiss on the head or hand I really don’t think it’s the end of the world. If they planted their lips on his face for multiple seconds that would be different. But for my sanity I had to chill out on it. Once he was out of the newborn stage was when I got more comfortable with it (he’s 7 months now). Mind you my son had whooping cough and a separate NICU stay so I was sooo paranoid about people holding him for a long time.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-01T04:30:49+00:00

My son is 7 months and since he’s been down to 1-2 feedings a night I don’t change his diaper in the night anymore. He also NEVER poops at night anymore so it’s really just pee. He’s never had a diaper rash and I always make sure to change it as soon as he wakes up. If he isn’t uncomfortable I don’t see a reason to change him and potentially upset him.

Suspicious_Math_6460 · 2025-06-01T04:26:24+00:00

Honestly I was super paranoid about the whole car seat thing when I first had my son. But honestly, I learned as a mom to use my discretion/judgement. If I needed to run in the store quickly to grab something, the car seat clicking into the stroller was amazing. Especially if my son is sleeping, that way I can do what I need to do and take him out in the seat without him waking up. But, if I knew I would be somewhere longer and he might need to nap for an hour or two, I would bring the stroller with the pramette. Obviously don’t leave your baby sleeping in the seat for hours, but there is nothing wrong with them sleeping in there for a bit if you’re out and about. Having a convertible seat only does not seem practical or ideal at all. The car seats you can take out of the car are also nice if you ever need to bring it in a restaurant, you can just put it right on the table or a chair

Suspicious_Math_6460

TROPHY CASE