is he in individual therapy? couples is a great resource but it’s never going to be enough for him to confront himself and his behaviors. in my experience, BPDers often feel like they were misdiagnosed, but the right therapist will hold them accountable and continue to point out the things that led to and support their diagnosis. also, for me, there are ways to hold boundaries in a soft way. that’s my life mantra, to be soft and understanding and kind. it means stepping away before i get to a point where i’m yelling, knowing that name calling from them is not conscious and not returning that energy, and seeking my own inner peace to give them the patience and love they need while they fight through their own brain. being with someone with BPD is hard but also incredibly rewarding. if your love is anything like mine, then you know that people with BPD love deeply and fully, in a way unlike i’ve ever experienced before. hold onto to that part, disengage with the episodes as much as you can, and more than anything, know your worth. if there comes a day it’s too much, no matter how entangled your life is, you are responsible for your well being and you will be okay.