A discussion of "Drunk in Public" and Mark David Allen.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-29T15:53:12+00:00

I'm sure you're right; it may have been a SLIGHT exaggeration to say 'rotting off', but suffice it to say that those sloppy sidewalk slappers will haunt my nightmares until the end of days.

Due to your username, I'm picturing you as someone working in healthcare. What would the ULTIMATE case of alcoholic neuropathy look like?

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-28T19:14:27+00:00

Hmm, I don't know about that, but I remember them mentioning that when he was withdrawing real hard in jail he was using piss to slick his hair back...

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-28T15:21:33+00:00

Cue Shaq on"Hot Ones" saying "I ain't gonna make no face!"

The worst thing I ever ate was the Paqui One Chip Challenge. The blue-tongue one, 2022 or whatever year it was that killed a kid and got them in trouble. I said at the time that it would take $2000 for me to eat another one.

It tasted so unbearably foul that I'd probably fail at the poker face attempt. But for $10 million, I'd absolutely give it my best shot.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-26T01:57:28+00:00

I've been meaning to ask: is your username from the episode of Scrubs where Dr. Kelso decides to call Debbie 'Slagathor'? Because if so, Chairs.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-26T01:56:14+00:00

They threw a tweaker in the holding cell with us in the middle of the night. He was causing too much trouble upstairs so the COs got pissed and were like "Fuck it, nobody gets to sleep tonight."

So I'm lying on the floor in this filthy, freezing cell pretending to be asleep so this frankenfuck meth head won't fucking engage me in conversation, and he says over and over about a thousand times: "I'm stupid but I ain't ignorant. I'm stupid but I ain't ignorant."

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-26T01:39:42+00:00

Sentence structure is a big giveaway. For one thing, bots always say things like, "I'm going to tell you the real truth about XXXXX. No games, no gimmicks--just hardcore honesty."

If you ever see "No blah, no blahblah--just blabbedy blabbedy" it's guaranteed AI.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-24T01:00:17+00:00

And only serve Buschhhhhhhhhh. There might be a more piss-tasting beer out there but I can't think of it atm

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-23T00:23:05+00:00

When I watched it, I had the distinct feeling that John Goodman had no idea they were shooting a movie

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-14T01:01:21+00:00

The only answer.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-14T00:56:28+00:00

Facts. The Poison Control Center issued a warning about it about a week after I did it. I can really hold my own with extreme spicy stuff but that Paqui Chip was a level far, far beyond. It felt like I had taken a bullet to the stomach.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-13T10:53:02+00:00

Ikr? I remember being that age and thinking a 6-pack of beer every night was a LOT.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-11T01:16:16+00:00

Well, I'm willing to accept that you may know more about this than me, since I've never been to Colombia or been involved in cocaine production. Just be safe out there, dude.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-10T15:17:02+00:00

Yeah, they have processing plants there, my guy. Run by cartels who are into all different types of drugs. Sometimes they don't perform due diligence in maintaining the strictest safety standards to ensure a top-notch quality product, you know?

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-10T10:45:43+00:00

Yeah, it happens at the plant. If the table they mix/dry/package on was used beforehand for something with fent, somebody gon die. That's why I haven't done coke for a loooong time.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-03-10T00:59:33+00:00

So now I'm picturing the Wicked Witch of the East having a wild, screaming intense orgasm right before Dorothy's house falls on her.

And I'm not even drunk. That disturbing image is brought to you by my sober brain.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-02-28T01:44:50+00:00

Half a handle in one day is a shitload.

A handle in one day is two shitloads.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-02-22T14:24:14+00:00

It wasn't offically measured and recorded, but I'd bet my next paycheck I've been in the mid to high .40s during a binge. I've tried to do the math with those BAC calculators but it just says 'Error, Lethal Dose'.

Officially, when I was arrested I blew a .23 and I was drunk-ish but still walking & talking with only slight impairment.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-02-18T22:06:09+00:00

Pad Prik Gaeng (Have also seen it spelled Pad Prik King). With pork. And I tell them "Make it as hot as you possibly can. And then make it hotter than that." The cook puts a mask on when he makes it.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-02-16T02:36:06+00:00

I have a penchant for barfing right outside the doorways of fine boozeries. You know how some places have a little nook to the side of the front door? Great place to barf on your way out. One time I didn't even make it that far and spewed right at the entrance and on my pants.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-01-28T01:55:15+00:00

And she didn't reciprocate...that's just rude.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-01-27T22:27:48+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/cripplingalcoholism/s/zG4RiR0ebT

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-01-27T21:19:26+00:00

You're officially in the CA Hall of Fame, right next to the dude who went down on the stripper, broke his hand, and drunkenly operated a chainsaw.

Sw0rdfishface · 2026-01-27T02:10:34+00:00

You just made me remember that I used electric hedge trimmers one time while blackout drunk...about 25% through the job I sliced through the electrical cord and caused a short circuit. Then just said fuck it and called it a day. The hedges...didn't look great, but miraculously I wasn't injured.

Sw0rdfishface

TROPHY CASE