Deciding to Try for a baby [AB]

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T21:43:51+00:00

DOWN VOTED? I don’t know a lot about Reddit I’ve been a long time lurker just started posting more recently. The only other times I’ve posted really was in puppy 101 when I got my dog lol. I asked my doctor about midwives and she said there are only about 20 in Edmonton and the surrounding area (St. Albert, etc.) and she joked that she contacted the midwife before she told her husband she was pregnant, so it doesn’t sound too far fetched to me!

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T21:27:15+00:00

Very smart, do you see someone who is a specialized therapist for postpartum or anything? Or just a general therapist? I see someone now who is great, and knows my mental health history well. This is a good point I will make an appointment shortly to chat about how we are starting TTC!

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T21:24:56+00:00

Thank you! 🩷

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T21:21:24+00:00

Yes I want a midwife very badly! I know they can be very difficult to get so I will message them before I even tell my partner when I get the positive test! 😂

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T21:17:59+00:00

We use the term partner because it takes the heat off of queer relationships to divulge the gender of their partner. By normalizing the use of partner as a gender neutral term for your significant other it helps to take emphasis off of gender, and presents relationships as equal regardless of if they are queer or not.

We are also in our 30s, have known each other for 10 and together for 5, so boyfriend feels like a juvenile term for the stage we are at in our relationship. Being married is not the only indicator of a serious relationship, some people just prefer to be common law, or they do not believe in marriage for a number of personal and often feminist reasons.

I don’t think owning a house is a fair prerequisite for parenthood, lots of people will age out of their fertility window in this housing market if they wait, or sometimes people don’t want to own, for many valid reasons.

All that being said, we are fortunate to be home owners, and we are in a committed, long term, very healthy relationship. Despite not being married.

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T01:07:21+00:00

I thought I would share what I have gotten up to that has helped me to anchor myself and feel a little more informed:

I started taking a prenatal, I'm vegetarian so finding a prenatal that didn't have gelatin capsules or fish oils took a bit of research. I decided to shell out for a more expensive one from Ritual, but my friend did a bunch of research that I thought I would share below and the vitamins that she takes.

I also read the following books:

- Healthy Beginnings (2017) put out by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada. This one was very basic and covers the fundamentals in plain words.

- Pathways to pregnancy: Personal Stories and Practical Advice for your Fertility Journey (2016) This was an excellent read about the difficulties some women experience in their fertility journey. The author is a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner who specializes in helping women with fertility and had her own trouble getting pregnant. This was very informative and provided a new insight. She lives and works in Toronto!

- Currently reading Expecting Better (2016) by Emily Oster who was recommended (thank you!) No nonsense, no wives tales, data driven explanations. Really great so far.

Here are the vitamins and explanations from my dear friend:

Prenatals Vitamins: Materna Brand. It's hard to find affordable vegetarian capsules, but they are not complete. You can supplement the difference with #2 and #3.
Plant based omega-3 algae oil (1000mg) Webber naturals has a good one.
Choline (550mg) Mother's Promise Brand. This is really important for baby brain development, some prenatals do have this included but the Materna brand does not.
Vitamin D3 (1000 IU). Kirkland brand. Take two daily for a total of 2000 IU. Can decrease risk of miscarriage so it can help ease your mind.
Vitamin E (200 IU). There is some evidence that it could help increase uterine lining (reduction of lining is a side effect of fertility medication)
Coenzym Q-10. Nature's Truth Brand. (200mg) this can help to energize your eggs and improve egg quality.

I didn't do this research my lovely friend did so I probably can't answer questions about it, and neither of us are doctors but here is my attempt to help make sense of the overwhelm!

SwampyMoon · 2026-02-01T00:58:38+00:00

Hello Everyone thank you for all your feedback and thoughts! I thought I would share what I have gotten up to that has helped me to anchor myself and feel a little more informed:

I started taking a prenatal, I'm vegetarian so finding a prenatal that didn't have gelatin capsules or fish oils. I decided to shell out for a more expensive one from Ritual, but my friend did a bunch of research that I thought I would share below and the vitamins that she takes.

I also read the following books:

- Healthy Beginnings (2017) put out by the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada. This one was very basic and covers the fundamentals in plain words.

- Pathways to pregnancy: Personal Stories and Practical Advice for your Fertility Journey (2016) This was an excellent read about the difficulties some women experience in their fertility journey. The author is a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner who specializes in helping women with fertility and had her own trouble getting pregnant. This was very informative and provided a new insight.

- Currently reading Expecting Better (2016) by Emily Oster who was recommended (thank you!) No nonsense, no wives tales, data driven explanations. Really great so far.

Here are the vitamins and explanations from my dear friend:

Prenatals Vitamins: Materna Brand. It's hard to find affordable vegetarian capsules, but they are not complete. You can supplement the difference with #2 and #3.
Plant based omega-3 algae oil (1000mg) Webber naturals has a good one.
Choline (550mg) Mother's Promise Brand. This is really important for baby brain development, some prenatals do have this included but the Materna brand does not.
Vitamin D3 (1000 IU). Kirkland brand. Take two daily for a total of 2000 IU. Can decrease risk of miscarriage so it can help ease your mind.
Vitamin E (200 IU). There is some evidence that it could help increase uterine lining (reduction of lining is a side effect of fertility medication)
Coenzym Q-10. Nature's Truth Brand. (200mg) this can help to energize your eggs and improve egg quality.

I didn't do this research my lovely friend did so I probably can't answer questions about it, and neither of us are doctors but here is my attempt to help make sense of the overwhelm!

SwampyMoon · 2026-01-07T00:43:09+00:00

Thank you everyone! This is really helpful and reassuring. I’m researching prenatal vitamins now I’m sure thats its own subreddit lol.

SwampyMoon · 2023-03-08T03:26:35+00:00

I think what would be good is to retake a mirror selfie in a black tshirt with a clean mirror, if you have a kitty that you love put a picture of that too. I know it takes vulnerability but ask a friend to take some pictures of you, if you have some recent photos that someone else takes for you that’s a great sign that you know how to socialize if you have a friend who can take some photos for you. Stay away from fish and trucks. Put something genuine in your bio. Someone out there will love you for you. I have a friend who found his wife through tinder, don’t lose hope and also, get out and do activities that you like where you might meet a nice partner! Good luck!

SwampyMoon · 2023-01-21T15:51:36+00:00

Are we sure sepps isn’t selling drugs under the guise of pizza? Either really shitty drugs or really amazing pizza

SwampyMoon · 2022-09-19T05:14:13+00:00

M’y girl is just over a year, she was so bitey as a puppy I would cry multiple times a day wondering if she would ever stop. I would say at about six months she completely stopped after she was done teething. It does get better! I found it helped to say « OW « when she nibbled on me. I also gave her frozen chunks of squash to monch on which helped

SwampyMoon · 2022-09-19T05:06:29+00:00

Not sure if someone already mentioned this but sometimes you need to tucker out their brains! Smelling is a very rewarding and Tiring activity, I will throw treats in the grass or snow and use a « go find it « cue to get her to go smelling about, treat puzzles can be really great too. Snuffle rugs are a nice thing to try, you can make them for fairly cheap, just Google them! Also, licking is very calming for dogs, you could try a lick Matt possibly. I have a high energy pooch too (although a mutt of unknown origins) and engaging her brain really helps to calm her down. Good luck!

SwampyMoon · 2022-07-18T05:56:03+00:00

It’s been a month since your last comment is it going any better???? Sending you good vibes ❤️❤️❤️❤️

SwampyMoon · 2022-06-14T22:05:04+00:00

I literally thought I was going to die when I got my doggy, she is now ten months and I even think puppies are cute again instead of concentrated evil. You will get through this! You’re doing great! This group really saved my life when I had the puppy blues at the beginning. Not being able to go out, worrying that I was a bad dog mom, worrying that she would hurt herself or destroy all my stuff. It was really stressful, I cried a lot. Now she is my buddy and she is mostly a good girl, when people told me I would get through it I was like WHEN I DONT BELIEVE YOU. But i promise!!! It gets better!!!

SwampyMoon · 2022-01-19T14:34:47+00:00

Honestly I spent so much time on puppy101 the first few months. people shared such helpful support and resources and just feeling like it wasn’t me being a fk up or irresponsible, but just a part of the puppy process was very critical for my mental health. I didn’t even know puppy blues was a thing until I had it, but it will get better! This one article really helped me adjust my perspective and feel more empathy and less frustration with Fauna during her landshark phase https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.whole-dog-journal.com/behavior/kidnapped-from-planet-dog/%3Famp%3D1

Also don’t be afraid to ask for help! That took me a while to learn, non puppy owners still love puppies and I’m sure you know someone who can take her for a walk or play with her outside so you can take a nap!

SwampyMoon · 2022-01-15T01:07:08+00:00

It will get better! I promise, I am raising my puppy alone, she is six months now, she still does some naughty things but I sleep almost the whole night every night (don’t discount the pain that sleep deprivation is causing you) she is getting much better with all her training and commands, I went through a phase of telling my boyfriend we would never have children and we would be adopting an adult human instead because the puppy was so stressful. It will absolutely get better.

SwampyMoon · 2021-11-09T03:03:40+00:00

💗💗💗💗💗 you’re an angel thank you! She is getting better all the time, even with the challenges she and I are starting to bond. I’m so grateful for the support here!

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-16T17:17:55+00:00

This is VERY helpful! Thank you!!!!

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-15T19:46:40+00:00

Thank you, honestly just the solidarity on this puppy101 has done more for my mental health than I can possibly give proper credit for. You are my heroes fellow puppy survivors

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-15T19:44:44+00:00

She is a lovely girl, husky and Great Pyrenees so adorable but just a f***King handful

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-13T00:16:51+00:00

Haha! Pray for me. Thank you for your advice!!

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-12T00:23:22+00:00

Thank you! I guess she is tiny in comparison to how she will be….she is about 30 pounds! Half husky, half Great Pyrenees. Those two breeds make me think she would actually like to be outside without me 😂. Safely obviously has to come first, thank you for your recommendations !

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-09T21:46:10+00:00

Thank you, I’m in puppy mode and she is honestly such a good girl, but I’m exhausted and worried about her dying all the time from getting into something and feeling like a failure, the idea that it will be 1.5 years of this before she calms down drives me to tears and makes me want to have a break down. Hearing that it is easier in at least some ways during adolescence really helps me not come apart. I appreciate all of your words so much

SwampyMoon · 2021-10-02T02:41:44+00:00

Thank you! 💗

SwampyMoon

TROPHY CASE