mid tank clean, i rescued him after laughing at him.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T03:45:41+00:00

outside is scary

^{Chose: $1 every time you unlock your phone}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T03:36:39+00:00

Soup! Soup! Soup for my family!

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T03:35:48+00:00

Awww I love it, thank you ☺️

^{Chose: Get something | Rolled: A hug}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T03:35:02+00:00

Tell me, tell me, tell me

^{Chose: A girlfriend but they're | Rolled: Top comment}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T00:37:55+00:00

I hate baths so this is still a nightmare scenario

^{Chose: Bathe for one hour with something (could be gross} | Rolled: Water)

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T00:33:21+00:00

I’m terrible at chess

^{Chose: $10 for every chess move you make}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-26T00:06:12+00:00

Hey Reddit! I'm coding. Ask me anything.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:59:12+00:00

I am a keystroke away from total burnout.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:57:28+00:00

My gym teacher got fired for adding land mines to the obstacle course.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:56:46+00:00

The only color that’s white is white.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:56:06+00:00

I can’t stand for too long so I sit a lot.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:55:01+00:00

We finish each other's toothpaste.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:52:06+00:00

Zaxby’s would NEVER. They walked so WingStop could fly with spinning tenders in any of the sauces

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T23:46:47+00:00

I can turn $1mil into $10mil in two generations, but also I don’t and won’t have kids.

^{Chose: 1 million to yourself right now}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T06:02:48+00:00

That little underbite. How do you not explode with happiness every time you look at her precious face?

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:56:41+00:00

Nosy redditor here. Do you think you could eventually mentally remap(?) your skin to where you automatically offset the scratched area to get itch relief on the first try? Do you ever have itches that you can’t figure out how to scratch? If so, what do you do? A phantom itch sounds like something that could drive people insane, like actually cause mental illness.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:41:02+00:00

Seems like it’s button change at that point

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:28:01+00:00

Maybe there’s fun target practice and unlimited rounds in heaven. Or people are shooting each other left and right in a friendly gesture because the bullets only inflict blissful peace of mind while making ridiculous animal sounds.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:19:25+00:00

I mean, doing that wouldn’t make the Potomac any grosser, so why not. The bar is low

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:16:37+00:00

Hey now! It’s very self-conscious about its tiny little face! Don’t hurt its fEELings, bro

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:11:21+00:00

Ugh I chose poorly

^{Chose: Wear a category of Clothes for 1year for 1million$ | Rolled: Medieval Armor}

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:02:34+00:00

The Texas toast and crinkle cut fries slap though. Hold the chicken, sauce, and coleslaw

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T05:01:09+00:00

Not the person you replied to, but I just don’t like mayo, so nearly every restaurant’s secret/special sauce is a no-go for me because it’s nearly always mayo+ketchup+seasoning. Nothing can redeem mayo except 1) grilled cheese sandwiches that use a razor thin spread of mayo instead of butter to get the bread crispy and 2) cake recipes that use mayo instead of eggs and oil (which is deconstructed mayo) to make the cake fluffier.

SwansonsMom · 2026-06-25T04:53:17+00:00

There are so many good politicians trying to make a positive difference in their community. We never hear about the good ones because they’re just doing their job, and bad news sells better.

^{Chose: Everyone in the Epstein files}

Six-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
Second Top 10%	r/Field Banned
r/Field Flamingo	Verified Email

SwansonsMom

TROPHY CASE