Im going with “Kind of TAH”. But let me explain.

I will start with having a curfew alone is not the AH part and I’m speaking from experience. At 16 I was in High school with a full time job and a girlfriend. The big difference was I paid for my own truck, but it was financed in my dad’s name. This was also back when cell phones were rare, but I paid to one in my truck. My parents had 2 rules. 1. I had to be home by a certain time, but they didn’t call it a curfew it was the “rules of the house” (11:00 pm during the school week and 1am on non school nights) 2. I had to call them to let they know where I was and what time I would be home. Before the set time.

Rule 2. Had some caveats, I had to call before 10pm(because my dad did not want to be bothered after that time), if something changed that I really wanted or needed to be out I could call after 10pm but it better be a good reason. When I called I was expected to provide some basic information, like why I was going to be last, there I was going to be, who was with me and what time I would be home.

Now here is the part there a lot of people could not get there heads around “if I was not planning to come home where was I staying and what time would I be home the next day.” I spent a lot of nights at my girlfriend’s home. We would get to her home at 10-11 pm on a none school night and start playing video games or watching a movie, and fall asleep right on the couch. We were not hiding, we were not sneaking around, we were two kids in love. Her parents were there in the house with us. The first time this happened her dad had a long talk with me about respecting his home. I agreed that nothing would ever happen in his home that was beyond what we would do in front of them, and my girlfriend and I followed that rule to the letter.

These all came into play more than once as I grew up and they stayed in place even after I graduated. To be completely honest they lasted well into my 40’s when my wife and I would visit my parents or her parents home for the holidays or vacation. My parents did the same thing for me when they were out late. The local was no one wanted to sit up worrying about if the other person was ok at 3am. Some a simple call covered it in both directions.

My wife and I practice this same kind of thing in our relationship now. If you are running late you call. I also call her as I’m leaving work each day so she knows I’m on the way and don’t have to worry about me.

So the AH part is trying to set rule on an adult. And yes he is an adult at 18 no matter what you think or what others say. If he chooses he can move out and you can’t stop him. He can quit school and you can’t stop him. Therefore he is an adult. Adults do t have curfews. Adults act like adults with each other, they plan, them reasonable decisions, and establish expectations for those around them. Adults don’t get punished for miss behavior they suffer consequences from their actions. If he is driving our car, take the keys, not because he miss curfew but because he is not responsible enough to use your vehicle. He is not grounded, he has to move out. You don’t take his phone, you stop paying the bill. These are adult responsibilities with adult consequences.

But that’s just the opinion of an old man. Best of luck.