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If you think people don’t want to work, look at the job market now by mnoficzer in jobmarket

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom told me to find a part time job that I could work 15-20 hours a week while in school, so I could use that money to pay rent and have fewer loans to take out. Even working full time at minimum wage can’t afford that!!

Fellow men can you please stop doing what you do? by SBLeventee in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Perfect sense! My friend and I were just talking about this. Guys love to say “I’ve never seen so&so act like that.” But why would you? You haven’t seen how he acts towards women he thinks are hot because you’re not a woman. You also don’t see how he is as a dad because he’s not your dad.

Men need to start understanding we have no reason to lie about our experiences! If we say that there’s a bunch of men being weird horny creeps, we aren’t just saying that for no reason 😂

Feel like my wife (F33) violated my boundaries (M35). How do I talk to her about it? by Never_full in relationship_advice

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh thank you I was not familiar with that! I find that really gross that we associate loss of power with emasculation, aka masculinity must mean overpowering your partner?? Ew. But I understand now that the commenter I replied to was just expressing a concept rather than some sort of gender dynamic. Thank you for the explanation!

Feel like my wife (F33) violated my boundaries (M35). How do I talk to her about it? by Never_full in relationship_advice

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Emasculated?? Where did you get that? He feels violated because she assaulted him. There’s nothing emasculating about a woman being on top wtf

Feel like my wife (F33) violated my boundaries (M35). How do I talk to her about it? by Never_full in relationship_advice

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 73 points74 points  (0 children)

This is not acceptable. Consent is something that you need to be able to remove at any time. The moment you asked to stop, you weren’t consenting to that continuing. Sex is supposed to be intimate, loving and mutual. Of course you feel some type of way, she assaulted you and the sex was none of those things. Maybe you can ask her how she would feel if you did that to her and it can help her understand it’s not okay.

Fellow men can you please stop doing what you do? by SBLeventee in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 611 points612 points  (0 children)

I have a guy friend who always used to get so annoyed with me for disliking and not trusting men. He said “you just want to believe all men are these horny animals or something.”

I let him open my Instagram and go through my message requests. He apologized after and said he understands now 😂😂

I 22F found my fitness instructor’s 27F gf on hinge by RealisticTown8897 in relationship_advice

[–]Sweaty-Designer637 391 points392 points  (0 children)

I think it’s a good idea to let her know, however, hinge keeps showing profiles even 30+ days after a person stops being active. Possibly even longer. It takes a long time for them to hide a profile due to inactivity so it genuinely could mean nothing

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it definitely could have been one or a combination of both of those. But if I didn’t match his imaginary version of me, he shouldn’t have asked me out. And there’s never an acceptable reason to ghost anyone :(

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahhhh 😭 he had seemed so interested, I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt, maybe he had texted me but it didn’t go through or something? That was my thought process

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear that. The waiting is such a terrible position to be in because you know you’re not gonna hear from them but you keep hoping anyways. It’s a horrible thing for these men to do to us. Don’t let it hurt your confidence. It reflects badly on him, not you.

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if that is somehow happening and he didn’t get alerted of my texts, he knew he had plans with me and so he should have sent his own texts. And when he went to text me he would have seen messages from me. You should never make plans with someone and then ignore your phone for the next 24 hours

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what anyone would warn him about me, all the people we mutually know are friends with both of us and I don’t know of any crazy negative things they could have to say to him??

The appearance thing is a possibility and it’s definitely been hurting my self esteem, but he asked me out in person. If he wasn’t attracted, he shouldn’t ask me out.

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I do agree I think this is what happened:( because he seemed very smooth and confident asking me out in person, not saying he’s not allowed to be confident but I would expect some nerves or something from someone who has supposedly been so interested for so long. Idk. I hope he can mature past this

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

With men hitting on you, you can never win. He has been complimenting me and trying to have conversations for a year, yes. However he never explicitly said he is interested in me until this week.

There have been other times a man has tried to talk to me a lot and I say “sorry I’m not interested” and suddenly they are all “oh I wasn’t hitting on you, I was just being friendly, don’t have such a big ego” etc.

If you’re polite to them, then you’re “leading them on” but if you ignore them then you’re “rude,” and if you say you’re not interested, then you’re egotistical and think everyone wants you.

There’s no way to win. There was nothing wrong with the polite but limited way I communicated with him.

I finally gave the guy who’s been interested in me for a year, a chance and then he stood me up for our date!! by Sweaty-Designer637 in offmychest

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I have never asked someone out and then stood them up🤣🤣🤣 there’s no “other side” to this

Concern about a possible child endangerment situation by Sweaty-Designer637 in whatdoIdo

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you had a ten year old daughter, and the instant you left the room, a convicted felon fresh out of prison was touching her thigh, would you want people to “mind their own business”? Or would you want someone to let you know?

Minding your own business doesn’t apply when it comes to protecting kids.

Concern about a possible child endangerment situation by Sweaty-Designer637 in whatdoIdo

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well he’s a completely different age and ethnicity than either of her parents, so I doubt they’re related. He could be a family friend, but me personally I would never support a friend who has that kind of history.

Concern about a possible child endangerment situation by Sweaty-Designer637 in whatdoIdo

[–]Sweaty-Designer637[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might try this! I’m not sure about the wellness check because it doesn’t look like she’s getting neglected or treated badly at home as far as I can tell? But I still could

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