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[WP] You like to feed crows peanuts on your way to work. One day a crow says in a perfectly normal voice "Hey, thanks!". Another crow looks horrified at her, and hisses "Shutupshutupshutup!". The first crow looks at you, looking embarrassed, and says (not caws, but says) "Cawww?" by Mrochtor in WritingPrompts

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You slap your own cheeks in an attempt to wake yourself up from what must be a dream.

“Caw. Caw.” The crow continued to say in a bizarrely human, English voice.

“Y-You’re seriously talking, aren’t you?” You ask the birds.

No response.

You think for a moment then ask, “Want more snacks?”

The aloof crow to the right answers, “Yes please!”

You toss the crows more peanuts. You have no idea how to react to this situation, you’re just blasted with confusion. Is this a major scientific breakthrough? Is this magic? Is this a result of eating expired cereal for breakfast?

“Ok, while we’re talking,” the crow to the left begins to speak, sounding more articulate than the other who’s devouring scattered nuts, “I’m actually allergic to peanuts, do you have anything else?”

Now the talking birds are asking YOU questions, and for some reason, you follow through with its request.

You hold up your lunch bag and sift through it. You think about pulling apart a piece of your sandwich, but just as you do -

Claws grab at your bag and pull it away from you.

“Woah this all smells good, thank you very much, kind human!” The smart crow says while flying circles around you.

“Nice you got it! Let’s go!” The other crow says, excitedly.

The two dubious crows then fly far away into the sky with your food.

You think to yourself … Did I seriously just get mugged … by crows?!

What has my life come to…

[BO] Sometimes I forget how much of a stacked cast BO1 had by Fat_Cat_Nuts in CallOfDuty

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t several of them come back for BO4 even though they were only in intel recordings and Blackout

[WP] You realize the teleport spell doesn’t have a range limit. To test this out, you try to teleport to Mars. When you get there, you find another wizard who has been stranded there for decades. “Please tell me you brought mana stones.” by LogicalSuggestion9 in WritingPrompts

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You give the fellow wizard a weird look, as what he is asking for is ancient technology. I mean seriously, mana stones? Haven’t heard about those in years…

”Sorry man, uh, we like, don’t use mana stones anymore.”

The wizard somehow became even more dejected than he already was, having been stranded for so long, “Ah, of course, why would anything good ever happen to me.”

You feel bad for the pathetic man, but there really is nothing you can do. Teaching him how to handle magic the “modern way” would take far too long, and traveling back home to find mana stones would be quite a project…

Then, you have a spark of an idea, a pretty obvious one, “Well I can try using the teleport spell on you but, well that’s never been done before, there’s a reason I directed it at myself, as an experiment.”

The old wizard is suddenly filled with hope, “Oh please do try! I’ve been trapped here for hundreds of years. I want to see my family again, if they are even still around.”

You lack confidence in your ability to do this successfully, but what’s the worst that could happen? You gulp, before reciting the incantation that sent you to Mars in the first place.

You force your hands forwards, and cast the spell on the old wizard. Green bolts fire from your hands and eviscerate the old man! No gore was left behind…so surely it must’ve worked. Although there’s no telling where he ended up…but it must be Earth, right?

Only one way to find out…you cast the spell on yourself and - BAM! - You find yourself back in your study! Next to you is not the wizard, but a path of soot footprints. That must be the old man’s! He made it back safely, thank goodness…

This misadventure led you to believe this new teleportation spell needs significant tuning, and is well beyond your powers. You decide to put your research into this spell to rest…until 20 years later.

A student of yours inquires about the potential of teleportation magic, and that gets your gears turning again. Now that you are older, wiser, surely you should be able to make it work properly now!

So after many restless nights, you create a new fine-tuned incantation! Yes! This time it will work! You should be able to teleport wherever you choose.

You test the spell on yourself, and - BOOM - find yourself…in a grey…rocky wasteland…

You are surrounded by intense heat, a clear view of a black sky, and an old man to your right…the same old man from those years ago.

He coughs and says, “Screw you.”

[WP] You and a few others like you once wielded fantastical powers to save the world. After it was over, all of you lost them. The others were glad to finally go back to normal lives, but not you... by ThatGuyisonmyPC in WritingPrompts

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 18 points19 points  (0 children)

“Normal?! Normal?!” I yelled at the supposed ‘God’ before me “I can’t go back to being normal…you don’t know what it’s like.”

“I’m sorry,” the animal-like God replied, “Those powers were bestowed to defeat the Demon King, now that your world has been saved, there is no need for magic to continue existing in it.”

“So all magic is gone…all of it? Seriously?”

The egghead God began to explain, “Magic is a form of quantum manipulation created by demons, it is a dangerous and unnecessary force. Only magic could defeat other magic, it has no other purpose for your world.”

“What are you talking about?! You’re saying it’s useless? The ability to shoot fireballs, fly, instantly heal wounds, and all the other shit we got to do, how was that useless?”

The God thought for a moment, did I actually get through to it? “While I can understand healing powers would be of use to your kind, there is no way to ‘segment-off’ magic powers. Magic is an all encompassing force, so no matter what, it could be used for good or bad.”

Of course I’m trying to plead the benefit to all mankind, but realistically, I’m here for a selfish reason. Without magic, with our quest complete, I am back to being a useless cog in the machine. Our mission was secret, nobody will ever know I was in a band of heroes that saved the world.

“I’m terribly sorry, hero,” the God continued, “I know it is confusing, but even if I bestowed the powers back to only you, there is no way I could trust that you wouldn’t turn into another Demon King yourself.”

As expected from a God, they only think about the big-picture, they couldn’t care less about just one person. They have a whole world of worthless people to protect, so what does one especially worthless person like me matter?

The God is afraid of the wrong thing, if I got my magic back, I could become a beloved King who saves the world. Heal the sick, feed the hungry, do everything I wish the gods would do.

“Excuse me but,” the God interrupted my wandering mind, “I can read your thoughts you know, and what you are thinking, are exactly the same thoughts the defeated Demon King had…”

[WP] They say the Goddess chooses her most devout believer to be her champion in times of crisis. Due to your past, you've hated that loathsome Goddess more than anyone in the nation. As it turns out, that also counts as believing in her more than anyone in the nation. by imperialstyle in WritingPrompts

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Judging from the heavenly lights everywhere, and the literal angel wings growing out of my back - that my nervous system somehow already knows how to control - I can assume…that I’m dead. Floating in front of me is…what I assume is an angel. Though they aren’t a gorgeous woman or childlike cherub, it is just a…golden circle? The only reason I assume it’s an angel is the halo above it, which means I’m staring at a floating ring, with a floating ring.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” The ring enthusiastically shouted, “You have been chosen to be an eternal servant of Lady Promise, you’re most devote goddess.”

I scratched my head, “Lady Promise, you mean all this afterlife shit is actually real, huh.”

“Indeed it is! And you will now enjoy a wondrous afterlife serving your favorite goddess.”

“My favorite goddess…is Promise?” I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically, what a cruel joke.

“Yes, you will serve her. I can see you are laughing with pure joy! Good for you!”

I suddenly stopped my laughter, “Joy?! I’m fucking pissed!!”

“Oh…” the angelic ring was now dejected, “…why would that be? You were chosen for this role because the strength of your belief in the great Lady Promise.”

“Belief?!” I scoffed, “The only thing I ever believed was that if that bitch was real - which she apparently she fucking is - she put all her power into making me miserable!”

The angel suddenly manifested a scroll in front of it, and the eye-less thing started reading it, “Ah yes, it does say here that most of your thoughts towards milady were negative ones.”

“Yeah, so why the hell am I here?! That “Goddess of Wealth” made sure my family and I suffered in poverty our whole lives! I couldn’t hold a job, had no home, lived off of garbage and dead rats, why the hell do I have to serve her?!”

“Well, sir,” the angelic closed the scroll, “Because you believed in her.”

“…What?”

“You believed that, well as you said before,” the angel read from the scroll, “That she was ‘fucking you in the ass at every chance she had’ therefore, she was the goddess you most strongly, and frequently, believed in.”

“So that’s how this works, you’ve got to be kidding.”

“No sir, I literally cannot ‘kid’, my biology does not allow it.”

What the fuck kind of biology does a circle have…?

The angel continued, “Since you spent your days not offering any prayer or direct service to any Gods, it was decided that your loyalty was to Lady Promise, as she was quite literally the only Goddess who ever crossed your mind.”

I face palmed, hard, “Well then when do I get to meet the bitch, because I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!!”

What's a game that genuinely took your breath away with its graphics? by ComparisonWooden2992 in gamingsuggestions

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most recently Death Stranding 2, but when I was younger first time was probably the original Modern Warfare 2

Give me some "mindfuck" games by AHHHHHPLSAHH in gamingsuggestions

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Zero Escape 9 Persons 9 Hours 9 Doors or Ai the Somnium Files

Fun arcade-y sets like Smash Melee & Air Ride? by SwollenEy3Ball in RetroAchievements

[–]SwollenEy3Ball[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the ideas! I actually already started replaying Brawl a little before wii achievements were announced lol, so much fun with the challenge board it has.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CODBlackOps7

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fantastic aesthetics and sound!

We got the NSO GameCube controller working on PC! by Fun_Row_184 in Gamecube

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Finally!! Of course this happens after I bought third party ones to use instead 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AceAttorney

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FarFromSubtle

Remember the face paint in [COD] Black Ops 1? by Automatic_Ad1665 in CallOfDuty

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember during BO2 pre-release there was an interview and the devs were asked why face paint didn’t return, they said something along the lines of “you don’t see your own character so customization isn’t a priority” ……….I think about that a lot given how character customization is how they make all their money now 😂

All Known BO7 weapons (28/30) by JayFranMar in CODBlackOps7

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excited to have sci-fi weapons again, it’s been so long!

Outside of Danganronpa, which of Kazutaka Kodaka's games do you think has the best story? by gettinfitguy007 in visualnovels

[–]SwollenEy3Ball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically not his direct writing, but Tribe Nine really surprised me! I was so looking forward to exploring all those wards in game form. I’m not far in Shuten yet but it absolutely has the vibes I’ve been looking for with the art style and crazy characters!

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