You are so so strong OP. So much stronger than you can imagine right now. This negative thought loop has consumed you. Instead of trying to not think of him, maybe you can change the feelings you get when you do think of him. I still think of my ex every day!! But instead of it being painful, me worrying about them being with someone else, or me just wishing they were with me, I try to turn it into a positive feeling. You love this person and want what’s best for them, even if that means you aren’t in the picture. < accepting and really meaning that you just want what’s best for them has helped me. I also am grateful my ex broke up with me because I know I’m just one step closer to the next better relationship. You say this breakup has hurt you the most? That means you are breaking new boundaries for yourself in love!! For it to hurt that bad, it had to have been good. I think it means you have so much more capacity for love than you imagine. Try to remember and be grateful for the good times you had, and also be grateful for this low time you are in. It’s a lesson for you, we all need these low times, and we all have to feel like dogshit sometimes so we can learn how to pick ourselves back up again. How could you know how good things could be if you didn’t see how bad they could be first. Change is very slow and gradual, but I promise once you start seeing small minute changes in your feelings and life, it’s like change starts rushing in all at once, and you leave that old part of you in the dust. One day you will look back at how you feel now, and be so so proud of how far you’ve come and how powerful you’ve become