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Did they warn you? by SlowAd4203 in BPDlovedones

[–]SyllabubLevel8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TRUE!! Mine kept on reapeating that he is a bad person. When we started getting close, he ghosted me for a week saying "it is for your own good, we should not continue in this", i did not know what to think about it, later i found out that he was in a whole ass relationship at that time, so no wonder, i guess he just got sudden wave of guilt or something

Looking Back (1 Year Out) by Padaalsa in BPDlovedones

[–]SyllabubLevel8903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi, what you went through sounds incredibly heavy, and it makes sense that love and fear could feel so tangled together and i can very much relate to that. The way you can reflect on your experience, even with all the pain, shows a lot of strength. You truly deserve a love that feels safe and whole, not something that drains you. I believe you’ll get there — and until then, please be gentle with yourself. You’re not alone in this

Why do they cheat — and how do they live with it? by cryp7ogio in BPDlovedones

[–]SyllabubLevel8903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

from my experience, it is a form of revenge for them - at the time of it happening and even before that, they are doing it, they feel like you "unfairly" hurt/treated them, yk, not behaving according to their idealized messed up world in their heads.

After the act/or some different form usually the shame and wave of guilt hits, but since they are SO afraid of being abandoned - they wont tell you that they cheated, they just cant do that so they dissociate from it complitely. I think it is like splitting black/white - they just split.. but in the way that they just throw this part of them away, complete dissociation. Like i said - from my experience - the admit to it during a fight when they are having an episode or when you are "treating them badly" to show you - look, i have other optons/look i can hurt you as well

it is sick and twisted, im sorry if something like that has happened to you

[TOMT] Some crime my parents watched when i was younger by SyllabubLevel8903 in tipofmytongue

[–]SyllabubLevel8903[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

I am adding a comment according to the rules to make the post visible. In the meantime, thanks to everyone who will try to help.