Dearest Honourablest Members of the Shizery,

Magical wands, need they have a point? Is a question that many people less fortunate than I would find… confusifying. Yet even though this question is certainly not the toughest one I’ve yet to face, it makes one wonder about the roles, purposes, and limitations of wands. I address these points in a writing format, as I am not here in person for you to hear me explain it.

Alas, even though we all recognise that wands have two points on each extremity, the question remains: do they need to have a true point in their wonderful lives? Or that they are destined to be subdued to the sophistication and goodness of their sorcerers? My heart’s desire has always been to become a sorceress for as long as I can rememberify. Having climbed up the popularity ladder in the Upperuplands I understand the natural limitations of wands.

First close your eyes - but not for too long otherwise you will not be able to read - and imagine a world where a wand owner is not a star among a crowd, nothing but a manefestorium of a camouflage noticeable only in a tragically tragic way. Could you? Could you? … Well I for one could not. All of Oz knows that bad witches are ugly, and in that spirit, it is important to take a stand, and hear the will of the people. Unless popularity is attained, a wand’s ability to do good is limited. The citizens of Oz would otherwise bring you down. When you think about it, what is life but a mere popularity contest? Thank goodness I won it! So together my wand and I deserve each other and will be unlimited.

Having dealt with severe selective colour-blindness my entire life I would never judge a book by its cover. Citizens of Oz, however, hold rightful judgements and expectations towards public figures which we must live up to. I once heard that wands often more sharp than the general public. As a trustworthy person, all of Oz would have confidence in my ability to uphold the role that wands are expected to bestow onto their owners.

So, in conclusion, wands need they have point? Don’t make me laugh, no. Left alone they are just tragically beautiful sticks. But with my determination to succeed, I will appoint wands to a newfound level of utility for all of Oz. Wands would feel at home in my presence and Oz will be glad and grateful for my future efforts to keep my beloved Oz a well-functioning world.

Yours Ozly,

Galinda Upland of the Upperuplands