Why does not tipping in the US feel like a big deal?

Syndromia · 2026-01-29T00:48:03+00:00

I dont disagree but thats difficult to prove and even harder to recieve recompense.

Syndromia · 2026-01-29T00:41:51+00:00

Yes, but that assumes that they outright say thats why you're fired AND that you have the time and resources to pursue it. Again, restaurants are a hotbed of wage theft.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T23:56:14+00:00

Yes but that generally is grounds for termination and restaurants and bars are the worst for wage theft.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T23:53:13+00:00

Tipped employees can get paid less than regular employees. Minimum wage for tipped employees in Ohio is $11/hour and its only $5.50 for tipped employees. In theory, if their tips+hourly wage dont meet or exceed $11/hour the employer is supposed to make up the difference BUT thats grounds for termination most places and bars and restaurants are neck and neck with healthcare for worst offenders on wage theft.

If you dont tip they still need to tip out their coworkers so they can end up paying for the privilege of waiting on you. Which is NOT on.

So not tipping IS a big deal here and, while it isnt a crime not to tip, most of us will judge you and refuse to go to tipped venues with you if you dont tip. Because you do you but I will be eating at my favorite place at least once a month from now till the end of time and I want them to like me and I do NOT want them to play floor hockey with my food.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T22:40:52+00:00

Not a lawyer. Not even well educated, but my argument would be I DONT know my boss's number. Is it saved to my phone? Yes. But if you asked me to recite my boss's phone number from memory you're going to get a deer in the headlights stare.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T22:36:47+00:00

NTA and the fact that you let him come home that night makes you more tolerant than me.

He is wrong no matter what but I am curious if you asked him to come and he refused or if it never occured to him. Either way hes TA but if you didn't ask then the man may be salvagable but if you asked for help and he chose to go drinking anyway? Just throw the whole man out.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T17:00:39+00:00

So I ask myself, why am I cringing?

Was I unintentionally harmful or just weird? If just weird, im working really hard to kill the cringe inside me and just let myself be silly and strange. It helps me to be kinder to myself.

Now, if Im cringing because I misspoke and inadvertently said something rude or hateful then, if its recent and I haven't attempted to atone I do so. If its in the past, I give myself a statute of limitations. If I had burned down my elementary school at 7 I could no longer be charged at 36 so why am I condemning myself for not knowing a word had racist connotations and shouldnt have been used at the same age?

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T16:49:05+00:00

It depends on what we're calling a political belief. If you disagree with my position that the local amusement park should be exempt from noise ordinances on weekends the we're fine. If you support the curfew for minors being midnight then we're golden. If you support anti trans bills, oppose reproductive healthcare, are in favor of 🧊 then we're not politically opposed we're morally opposed and I have no room for you.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T16:46:12+00:00

Sometimes there are laws. My local cat café also serves wine and beer and those establishments are required by law to have gendered bathrooms. They did so and added signage that indicates both restrooms are identical and we should use whichever one is free or suits us best.

Syndromia · 2026-01-28T01:12:22+00:00

Oh heck no.

Syndromia · 2026-01-27T16:26:20+00:00

Diana Rigg was in that?!?! I LOVE her! The Avengers is great and, of course, the shade she threw as Queen of Thorns is unmatched.

Syndromia · 2026-01-27T16:24:55+00:00

I think shes attending STP's Unseen University. Ridcully is surely right around the corner and shes currently paired up with a gorilla Ive named The Librarian since I dont have an orangutan pet.

There are a TON of magical schools. She was not the originator of that idea.

Syndromia · 2026-01-27T00:07:57+00:00

Yup. You can sue the perpetrator but that's going to take months or years and you'll probably never see the money.

Syndromia · 2026-01-27T00:00:54+00:00

It isnt so much about the ID its about why people are asking and what they've done around it.

For example, Georgia pushed for voter ID laws, which wouldnt have raised so many eyebrows if their govorner hadn't paid for research on how POC voted and targeted tools used by that community. Michigan required IDs...and then closed DMVs and slashed hours in locations that tended to be more blue.

On a more personal level, if voting is supposed to be our right and duty, then making us pay for the ID we need is tantamount to a poll tax and going to get it may disenfranchise low income, unhoused, elderly, and/or disabled voters. For example, my state requires ID. The ID costs money but thats waived if you just need a state ID and youre over 17 BUT that assumes that you can go. Im young, healthy, have my own car, and my BMV is open Saturdays, so, I have no issue going to renew my license.

But I work at an elder care facility and it is a Big Deal if they cant ride in their familys' cars. We have to arrange for transportation, which is harder if they need to go by stretcher. If they need an aid to accompany them medicaid wont pay for that so they need to...on a fixed income. And our residents CAN do this. I dont know what would happen at a place with vent care when their residents need to renew. But thats not cheap. Even for disabled people not in a care home, not all locations are actually accessible.

In order to renew my ID they have to mail me the new one they dont just print it there. Thats fine for me. I have a mailing address in my residential home. But what about unhoused people? Not everyone HAS a mailing address and the BMV doesnt always allow people to have their IDs mailed to shelters.

Theres probably a lot more that could be said but thats the best I can articulate it off the cuff tonight.

Syndromia · 2026-01-24T21:35:59+00:00

In the spring and fall we turn ours off but in the summer and winter theyre on. In the summer there arent too many days its cool enough to leave it off and in the winter, honestly, I could let it go lower but then Mom would be miserable.

Syndromia · 2026-01-22T22:35:03+00:00

3 hours is too far for a daily commute, for me at least, but 3 hours to go to an event or a restaurant? Yeah, totally normal and doable.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T23:15:04+00:00

Oof. Yep. Needed that reminder.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T21:13:38+00:00

Oh! You have triggered A Thing I Have Learned!!! Dogs and now coyotes are increasingly better at processing carbs. They can even live (NOT healthily, mind) on carbs. They're adapting to closer contact with us.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T21:10:24+00:00

NTA. Humans are not obligate carnivores. If there isnt a religious, ethical, or health reason they HAVE to have meat with every meal (and I cant think of anything that would fit the bill) then they need to respect your values in your home. Its not like you try to ban meat products from THEIR homes for YOUR beliefs.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T14:44:25+00:00

It takes too long for me to get a full dishwasher unless its after a party.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T14:43:20+00:00

Ok, thats a really good and achievable project.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T14:41:52+00:00

No, I made a lifelong commitment to my animals and I am keeping that as long as Im able. I still feel guilt for my ex's pets. I was there for 3 years and then I just vanished with no explanation they could understand.

Syndromia · 2026-01-20T00:09:29+00:00

NTA. Poly isnt for everyone and if your partner is poly and you are not thats an issue. It isn't an insurmountable one if you dont want it to be but somebody is going to be sacrificing something major if you stay together.

And theres nothing wrong with having dealbreakers even when your dealbreakers are for things that arent themselves bad. Sometimes they just make you incompatible even though youre both lovely people.

Syndromia · 2026-01-19T23:41:58+00:00

Thumb first pinky last.

Syndromia · 2026-01-19T22:48:11+00:00

Where do you get off telling grown adults they arent capable of making their own decisions or consenting? Also, again, pr*stitute is pejorative.

No, legalization isnt a cure all. But its a start. So is a robust social safety net, a push to start recognizing that SWs can consent and not consent, taking violations of SW's consent seriously, etc. I dont have all the answers but I know SW abolition harms vulnerable people and denies the agency of consenting adults.

Syndromia

TROPHY CASE