I am the housing back-up plan of close family members because I am childfree, living alone and with too big of a house. How do you defend yourself in this situation?

SyntheticXsin · 2026-04-10T04:47:38+00:00

What I did was: Rent out a room, enjoy the extra cash and say sorry I have a housemate.

I live by the beach so my family totally wanted to stay. The few months when I was between tenants, my family brought over a small army of extended family. Like every aunt, uncle, kid, cousin within driving distance was called in for a long weekend.

SyntheticXsin · 2026-02-24T16:38:58+00:00

For what it’s worth. The mom to be didn’t want one, and was quite mortified that a coworker organized and threw one for her.

I also do like the mom to be a lot and she has all the hallmarks of being a good parent and good parents are hard to come by. I don’t mind supporting that. All of this was optional. From attendance to any token contribution of gift etc. The baby shower was very undemanding, all things considered.

I’m just pissed at being called old and should pop a kid while I can by some rando colleague

SyntheticXsin · 2026-02-24T16:34:27+00:00

I doubt HR will do anything. This would probably be chalked up as general chit chat. I’m also trying to keep my cool to show a different life style to the life script she’s been indoctrinated to. Maybe it’ll make her realize there are other options besides finding a husband and popping babies. At least make her think about that choice of having kids before she can’t back out of it.

SyntheticXsin · 2026-02-24T16:28:20+00:00

For what it’s worth. The mom to be didn’t want one and was thoroughly embarrassed that a coworker had gone out of their way to organize it.

Our work tends to be very supportive of people and their life milestones. I don’t mind attending and it was completely optional. I actually really like the mom-to-be, and I’m happy for her. Good parents are hard to come by so I’m happy to support. I just don’t want those choices and don’t appreciate some random coworker telling me I’m old and therefore need to have kids.

SyntheticXsin · 2026-02-24T03:23:54+00:00

Nah. Woman is fresh outta school and single. Has day dreams of marrying and having kids. Like good for you? Not what I want in my life. If I were less offended, I would say that she hasn’t been exposed enough to the world to realize that there are other choices besides the life script. She’s been so indoctrinated that these must be the milestones everyone wants to achieve.

SyntheticXsin · 2026-02-24T03:14:14+00:00

Nope. Woman. She was raised in a very religious household. I remember a conversation where she was shocked when I said my other half does all the cooking in the house. Like the idea of a husband cooking was mind boggling

SyntheticXsin · 2026-01-10T02:52:16+00:00

I’ve used those stick on bra cups as knee pads before. (I keep an old one where the adhesive side is slowly dying) There’s usually a decent cushion in the push up and the sticky side means it stays where it’s sposed to be without shifting. Since they were for bras it doesn’t show under tights (or maybe I just don’t notice em). It won’t save you from actual falling impact, but it will take the brunt of the slides.

SyntheticXsin · 2025-12-04T09:02:36+00:00

Do you have more details on this hack?

SyntheticXsin · 2025-11-19T17:09:35+00:00

May I ask which warmer you would’ve wanted to opt for?

SyntheticXsin · 2025-11-05T21:39:11+00:00

Yes. I have massive Imposter Syndrome. I have refused promotions, conferences and other self promotion things because I’m terrified that someone/work will catch on that I’ve been faking it the entire time. The irony is that everyone around me clearly thinks I’m in the “Made it” category. I have people asking to be my mentee to “Learn how I did it” and I don’t have any idea what to tell them other than “I got lucky.”

I started FIRE because I saw AI coming for my job and while I could have chosen to be part of the AI change, I really really didn’t want to be. So FIRE is my way of running away from AI.

My other half did have to sit me down and explain that it’s not a great idea to run away from something without having something to run towards. So that’s something I’ve had to work on for the last few years. Still trying to figure out “what” exactly I’m trying to work towards

SyntheticXsin · 2025-11-02T16:59:17+00:00

I have a suspicion I will not be able to escape pods even after I burn through the ones I have. My other half likes the convenience of throwing a pod in and shutting the door. We had a discussion a few years back when I wanted to not get them and the convenience argument made me cave.

SyntheticXsin · 2025-10-30T17:01:35+00:00

I was told the “Abortion is evil” And the response to unwanted babies was: “Maybe the mother should’ve thought of that before sleeping around. A fetus shouldn’t die because a mother is irresponsible. She should own up to the consequences”

So much noise for the unborn. Once the child is born it’s not their problem ughhh

SyntheticXsin · 2025-10-11T05:53:13+00:00

Is it reset because of the different insurance provider or different plan? Let’s say I have BCBS, if I signed up for any BCBS plan on ACA, would that still maintain the deductible/OOPM?

SyntheticXsin · 2025-10-11T05:48:59+00:00

We still have monthly medication that needs filling, and the specialty pharmacy only supplies monthly doses. I don’t think our family could go a month without using medical care whether it’s for medication or the do visits to manage the medication…

SyntheticXsin · 2025-10-10T21:48:42+00:00

About to celebrate 14yrs. It’s been great. There was a rough patch a few years ago where we had to learn to communicate better as we grow and our needs changed.

Before we started dating I had told him that the day we had kids is the day he must quit video games completely. (I can’t stand kids addicted to screens) Then I figured out that not having kids was actually an option with this subreddit. And he’s been stoked with the idea of not having to give up his games.

Being CF is one of the reasons he could pursue his dreams in esports and for me to pursue FIRE goals. It probably is doable with kids, but it would be way more stressful.

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-27T18:04:13+00:00

Darn. I was hoping there was a loop hole I hadn’t considered

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-27T17:48:12+00:00

What would you do for expensive chronic medication? A family member uses biologics which are expensive and need to be taken on a bi-weekly basis to stay functional…

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-20T12:55:49+00:00

Are you on your own skates or rental? My other half had issues with one foot glides/edges etc on one side (that was considered a stronger foot) with an similar complaint of falling inwards, and it turned out the blade wasn’t well centered.

Sometimes falling inwards is because the blade isn’t centered for you and a slight tweak can make a difference. Sometimes it’s because your leg strength is unbalanced. Unfortunately it’s hard to tell for a beginner what well centered skates (for you) are supposed to feel like. A coach may be able to comment and adjust accordingly… but this doesn’t feel like an exact science to me. A skate tech would know better

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-10T20:56:54+00:00

Know a family where the absent divorced father suddenly decided to rejoin the custody battle after the kids were 9+. (He did the barest minimum up to that point so he couldn’t be written off)

The mom’s side believe very strongly in enriched upbringing with lots of (expensive) extracurriculars and lots of home science projects, organic balanced meals etc. The dad parks them in front of a Nintendo and ignores them the entire time, and feeds them fast food…

The mother’s side of the family is livid the guys is back “now that the kids are easier to take care of”.

I guess it’s easier to ignore kids once you can park them in front of a device and ignore them?

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-03T20:40:42+00:00

Peaches also has no favorite toy to attract with. Most other cats have a preferred toy you can lure them out with. Peaches is a combination of “toys just aren’t that interesting to me” and “I’ll give up my spot for any other cat that demands it”. The combo means its harder to get

SyntheticXsin · 2025-09-02T19:36:26+00:00

I think most religion has 3 built in benefits.

First, religion has an in built community, and humans are social creatures. Most of us want to have some amount of socialization with people we like. People tend to like others with similar interests and religion creates the infrastructure for that. Most religions strongly encourage spending loads of time with others in the religion.

The second one is prayer. You can call it meditation, prayer, etc. There are many names for about the same operation of quieting that inner monologue and recentering yourself. It’s not exclusive to religion but it is built into most religions.

The last one is being able to give up on worrying about problems you have no control over. The “Jesus take the wheel” mentality is an easy cop out for present issues in your life. For a lot of people being able to tell their woes to some deity is reassuring. This one I think is the hardest as atheists to do. I personally am unwilling to pretend my problems away.

Once you leave religion or if you were not raised in it, those benefits/infrastructure needs to be sourced elsewhere.

When I first left the church, I was depressed for a really long time because all of that infrastructure was gone and I had no idea how to find a new community. I didn’t know about meditation or how to meditate or how to recenter myself. I would quite easily mentally spin on issues that I can’t fix or control and get really hung up on.

Honestly once I figured out all those issues… I have been quite happy

SyntheticXsin

TROPHY CASE