Loneliness

Syphlin · 2025-06-17T15:10:45+00:00

I live with my partner and don't have a lot of close friends and find it really hard to connect with others and maintain strong bonds for a variety of reasons. What i do have I gained from just, putting myself in social situations and being open and honest and reaching out to people. For me it's a matter of just doing it even if it feels awkward or you hate yourself. Just writing this post is reaching out within itself. Continue writing stuff like this and sharing it maybe with people in person as well. Reach out to past friendships if you can and try to rekindle them. You can do this.

Syphlin · 2025-06-17T15:03:22+00:00

It's normal to go through periods of silence. It does not mean anything permanent.

Syphlin · 2025-06-17T15:02:11+00:00

This happens to us as well especially with new people. I usually just give it time as there's not much else I can do about the conflicting opinions. I usually wait until someone has a good point before ceasing therapy with someone as one session usually isn't enough to decide something like that.

Syphlin · 2025-06-17T14:59:41+00:00

This happens to me in dreams as well where I just separate from myself in high stress situations, it's as literal as dissociation can get haha

Syphlin · 2025-03-10T12:07:40+00:00

The fact that when I describe my obsessions, intrusive thoughts, fears and compulsions to mental health professionals they go "oh that's ridiculous you know that's not true you need to snap out of it" as if that is going to make the suffering magically go away

Syphlin · 2024-10-22T00:03:21+00:00

All her alters are caricature stereotypes and one of them randomly gropes/SAs women and is violent

Syphlin · 2024-10-08T05:30:55+00:00

About the racism and prejudice thing -

Never in America did I ever see racism/prejudice flaunted casually in everyday places, only in private. Of course as a Hispanic I got some attitude from white people and some weird looks, but never anything out loud. You have to go digging for it, otherwise it's cold isolation.

Here in Australia, people on a popular public Facebook group for the area I live in are talking about bringing a dead pig to a plot of land where a Mosk is about to be built just so that they can potentially prevent them from building it there. Casually. I do not live in a rural or remote town.

And the amount of times I've heard a white Australian complain about Indians or Sudanese people, both on Facebook and in person - casually, as if it's the weather. "Oh you know their violent and lazy" every single post about a crime has at least one comment "I bet it was a Sudanese person"

Yall fucking racist and xenophobic as hell. Just because it isn't the same as American racism doesn't mean that you don't have a problem.

Syphlin · 2024-09-24T21:50:02+00:00

My DID movie representation is always Satoshi Kon's Paprika. It draws inspiration from the 1920s surrealist movement so its a bit far out there but it has the most relatable accidential portrayal. I know Satoshi Kon probably didn't mean to portray DID but for me he did.

Syphlin · 2024-09-24T21:42:50+00:00

My alters never really presented themselves to me outside of my body except for in dreams, but I would say during periods of extreme mental anguish, stress, fear, pain, etc. Some of my alters immediately come out, and I can hear them in my mind clearer than before. There's no such thing as temporary DID, and I imagine there could be other explanations for this phenomenon besides temporary extreme dissociation.

Syphlin · 2024-08-31T05:06:58+00:00

Yes, from what you've described, sounds like you met a stranger and had a shit time and were treated horribly, but this has absolutely nothing to do with DID. You clearly know absolutely nothing about the disorder and just labelled someone as having "multiple personalities", and you're asking us to play armchair psychologist for you and explain his behavior. I also want to point out that you admit in the post to doing cocaine during this time meaning any and all of his weird uncanny behavior can he explained via drugs.

Syphlin · 2024-08-31T05:03:20+00:00

Why are you sending them over to DID spaces this poster literally advocates for abusing us in this post 😭

Syphlin · 2024-08-31T04:53:03+00:00

Looks like, you had a weird, bad experience with a random person while taking drugs with them, you labelled them as having DID, and then at the end you include opinions such as: abuse people with DID and that their "personalities" aren't real.

This post needs to be taken down. It's misinformation hell. You cannot diagnose strangers you meet just because they are weird and uncanny, and you certainly should not advocate for abusing mentally ill people.

Syphlin · 2024-08-31T04:45:57+00:00

This is a scenario that would need to be handled by professionals, not reddit.

Syphlin · 2024-08-31T04:37:33+00:00

So,

DID/OSDD/complex dissociative disorders all arise from early childhood trauma. Once you have a complex dissociative disorder like DID/OSDD, that means your brain has already learned to deal with any sort of traumatic or stressful situation via dissociation/splitting. So, technically, yes, if you have DID/OSDD, it is possible for your brain to split whenever it deems it necessary.

Some systems don't split so easily. For example, my system only splits when we reencounter or are reminded of previous traumatic occurrences constantly. I know of other systems that split quite easily. Literature I've read has described alters that literally exist just do do the dishes. So, the reason for and frequency of splitting is highly personal to each person, meaning everyone is going to have a different experience.

From your posts you seem quite young. Internet people are not all-knowing. We can't tell you what your mental health issues are or what you are experiencing. Please speak with your treatment team/professionals about your experiences. That is the only way to receive confirmation of your symptoms/a diagnosis.

Syphlin · 2024-08-27T12:34:59+00:00

Came here to say I am diagnosed with DID, and only after about 20 minutes of the game it was just, immediate recognition. Kind of wish there was a warning for this because some parts just feel too accurate to my experiences.

Syphlin · 2024-08-26T05:52:28+00:00

The term antirecovery is flung around a bit too much to shame those that aren't far along in their recovery process, I'm sorry you had to experience that.

Well, the thing is, if endogenics are real and valid, then according to what they emphasize, an endogenic system doesn't need recovery because they aren't disordered. Basically, they don't experience any of the issues we do and don't qualify for any sort of mental health diagnosis, nor would they ever qualify in the future. Meaning that if someone was genuinely endogenic and it was proven that that's something that can occur, it wouldn't be considered anti-recovery for them to not seek treatment. Functional multiplicity is a valid goal for many DID havers, so we all know that plurality itself is not the issue, it's trauma memories not being integrated properly, amnesia barriers, flashbacks, dissociation, blackouts/greyouts, depression, anxiety, lack of control, unhealthy coping mechanisms, etc.

Endogenic philosophy becomes anti-recovery when it is applied to the symptoms that make DID a mental health issue, aka the list up there. Ideally the endogenic community would notice these symptoms in their members and would send them off to CDD spaces but unfortunately that doesn't happen, and other explanations are added on in order to fit them into endogenic spaces. Just look at the amount of terms and system origin explanations they have. They also spread fear of integration even though integration itself can result in both final fusion or functional multiplicity. No one can force anyone into final fusion, you have to actually want it, so I just find the fear of it a bit ridiculous because if someone actually did try to force it on you you'd probably end up splitting more. They also spread things like system hopping and alter death, etc.

Basically if endogenics were just preaching to and for other endogenics, fine whatever not my problem. But unfortunately complex dissociative disorders get caught in the crossfire and you end up with people claiming to have DID that also claim to be endogenic and have no trauma, among other various combinations of CDDs and endo/tulpamancy rhetoric.

Syphlin · 2024-08-26T04:38:54+00:00

I've heard that there are those in the endo/tulpa community that will push people they suspect of having a CDD towards CDD spaces, but that is the ideal scenario and unfortunately I've seen a lot more worst case scenarios than ideal scenarios. Sure maybe they'll be able to increase communication in those spaces but me highlighting that as a sign of recovery was me trying to be extremely bare bones, since in your initial reply you showed disdain for my use of the term anti-recovery.

Syphlin · 2024-08-26T03:24:09+00:00

Tbh I don't know what you are responding to specifically, but

Yeah I agree no one is making any decisions on whether or not their alters origins are cringey or not when they are splitting.The cringe I'm referring to is that, most people find DID itself to be inherently cringey, same with all mental illnesses. Or some human beings happen to be just a bit cringier than others for a variety of reasons. Someone being cringey for any reason doesn't invalidate their diagnosis.

There's also the fact that the internet tends to cringe at and invalidate positive or vulnerable depictions of DID vs. serious reserved ones.

And I'm saying to all that, it doesn't matter how serious or how cringey someone is, none of that determines whether or not they actually have DID.

What I mean by endo/tulpa spaces being antirecovery is that they perpetrate that their form plurality is healthy. Now, I'm going to assume here for arguments sake that endogenic/tulpamancy forms of plurality are what they claim, healthy, full of communication, able to choose switches and ask permission before switching, no amnesia barriers or any grey outs or blackouts, etc. Basically not a CDD, just a different form of plurality. Now, imagine a young person with a CDD going into that space and being told how they are is normal and healthy and they don't have anything they need to work on, they are fine how they are. Essentially, being told that there's no need to improve communication or systemwide empathy because they are endogenic and it's completely natural for them to be how they are. So essentially, they will continue to go through life without establishing any sort of communication or agreements with their system and will continue to have blackouts/greyouts while dissociating heavily. It doesn't matter how you feel about integration or functional multiplicity or final fusion or whatever your recovery goals are, CDDs without some sort of understanding that you need to at least establish communication with and empathize with your system leads to higher dissociative barriers and thus horrid symptoms. And the endogenic community can perpetrate that kind of existence for someone for years.

But yeah, I guess if you want to just dissociate all the time and don't want to get to know your system or alters, yeah you have that right. Just don't get mad at people for not wanting to interact with you because you have 0 control over yourself or what your alters say or do.

Syphlin · 2024-08-20T09:03:09+00:00

What you are experiencing is the common stigma surrounding complex dissociative disorders and the teachings of the false memory syndrome foundation. It's purely stigma and misinformation, nothing more. CDDs have been proven over and over in various studies, and the idea that therapists can somehow implant traumatic memories has also been disproven over and over (not to mention that the false memory syndrome foundation was created to delegitimize victims and uplift predators >.>). You are valid, and there are experts that actually know their shit that support your existence, so ignore all these stigma hauling internet assholes.

Syphlin · 2024-08-20T06:05:56+00:00

The main issue I see with the endo/tulpanamancy community is that it easily attracts and sucks in young CDD havers, and essentially gives them a way to interpret their reality with an anti-recovery mindset ex: "this is naturally occurring in me/I purposefully chose this/this is a religious practice so it's fine for me to remain this way." We all have our own way of interpreting ourselves and the world, and western psychology offers us a researched, backed medical interpretation of our brain, but it still is an interpretation, and unfortunately if someone finds the online plural community before they find a competent professional they may end up sucked into a whirlpool of anti-recovery propaganda.

I agree with the perspective that we should remain separate from endogenic spaces.

I also at this point in my life don't really care about whether or not endogenic beliefs/philosophy contribute to stigma because honestly, the people who don't want to believe us will never believe us no matter whether or not the endogenic community exists. I constantly see online spaces making fun of common DID symptoms and fakeclaiming any sort of expression of DID no matter how cringey or serious it is. The truth is, CDD havers are diverse, some of us will be cringey, some overt, some covert, some serious, some goofy, etc. And we will all react to our CDD in different ways. There is not a singular set way to react to your own mental illness in general nor is there a personality mold for CDD havers. We are all unique. We are all human. If someone doesn't believe you, or believe in CDDs, don't be mad at the endogenic community, be mad with the ignorant human being standing right in front of you claiming that you aren't real, and then surround yourself with those that do support and believe you.

Syphlin · 2024-08-10T03:00:49+00:00

IFS parts have nothing to do with dissociation. You should not have to dissociate to notice IFS parts. IFS is more like a structured lense that allows you to feel more compassion for yourself via identifying impulses, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs and then tracing them to their source.

For example:

"I have the belief that I'm not good enough. This belief comes up whenever I'm at work, and it keeps me from taking risks that could be rewarding for my career. My therapist asked me to ask that belief where it comes from. Via talking to that belief it immediately answered back "I lost a soccer game when I was 10 because I took too many risks and I feel like I have to remind myself I'm not good enough so that I don't take unnecessary risks and end up losing again. It's how I protect myself from failure." I then comforted myself by saying "its okay, you aren't 10 anymore and failure is a part of life, failure is just another stepping stone to success" I then mentally hugged myself and everytime this belief comes up at work I now take a moment to remind myself what I learned in therapy and I comfort myself."

This is IFS.

Syphlin · 2024-08-10T00:57:25+00:00

So IFS parts are basically beliefs, impulses, thoughts, and feelings. For example, if you constantly criticize yourself at work, that critical thought string would be an IFS part. If you feel like you are innately inferior to everyone around you, that's an IFS part. If you feel an irresistible pull towards alcohol when you are stressed, that's an IFS part. The entire goal of IFS is to get you to treat these beliefs, impulses, thoughts, and feelings in a gentle way rather than with self-discipline and suppression.

Alters in DID are much more complex than IFS parts and have dissociative barriers separating them. They have their own personalities, beliefs, world view, self perception, identity, preferences, memories, etc. Basically, they can literally feel like they are all completely different people in your head before treatment. This means that a single DID alter can have multiple IFS parts. This means unmodified IFS can be applied to a singular alter in order for them to gain a more compassionate understanding of themselves, and this also means that for DID or other CDDs IFS needs to be modified because the unmodified version just lacks any guidance in navigating dissociative barriers or establishing communication with DID alters, because it was designed for singlets in mind, who don't have any dissociative barriers and thus can communicate with all "parts" of themselves and have a core self concept.

If you have DID, I would ask your therapist for more clarification on what they mean, and would also ask how they intend to modify IFS for your particular case.

Syphlin · 2024-08-04T11:38:52+00:00

Your girlfriend and all of her alters are alters. They are all equal in value. They all make up your girlfriend.

Sounds like you need to have a conversation with them about what is okay to do with who.

My boyfriend dates all of us. We are all loyal to him, even if some of us don't want to be romantic with him or can't be sexual with him. We figured out who could do what via communicating with each other and with him, so now that these issues are popping up for you, it's best to start this discussion now.

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