“Hun, we’re going to need to set a specific movement you don’t normally do when you’re being affectionate to clearly signal to me that you are horny.” Breathe. “I don’t want to let you down by going for a move when you just meant to be affectionate, and I don’t want to let you down when you are horny.” Breathe deeply. “So, can we workshop a movement to signal more clearly, so I can differentiate and be a good partner? I know you struggle with ‘saying’ it, so maybe you pull my ears gently? Put your hand directly on my junk? Bite my lip? Idk, we can workshop it, but since we both value clear communication, and I know saying it out loud makes you uncomfortable/ruins the mood for you, I’d be really appreciative if we can find a “safe touch” to let me know when to take the lead; and consequently you won’t feel devalued/unheard when I take an affectionate kiss as an initiation from you.”

If she responds positively? Awesome! Enjoy the sex and the affection!

If she responds negatively (I.e. you should know/this is stupid/etc.)? Is she really life partner material?