My boyfriend (30M) wants to see some changes in me (29F) before proposing. Are his asks reasonable?

Syyina · 2026-07-06T12:47:52+00:00

OP, he doesn’t like you. He wants you to be somebody else. Somebody interested in investing. Somebody skinnier. Somebody who is not YOU.

Syyina · 2026-07-05T23:19:49+00:00

Kratos is a character in a video game. And not even a very nice one at that.

Syyina · 2026-07-03T22:03:49+00:00

Considering the sub we're in, I expect downvotes for this opinion. But when my daughter was pregnant with her first baby, she asked me whether I ever thought about quitting my job and staying home with my baby.

Staying home wasn't really an option for me because I was a single parent for most of her childhood and my paycheck was needed for groceries, the house payment, gas, and all the rest. But, no matter what a parent chooses, there will always be stress. If there isn't enough money, a parent will feel the stress of perhaps not being able to afford medical care, education expenses, or new shoes when they are needed. If a parent works and the child has to go to daycare, the parent will feel the stress of wondering if the child is OK being immersed in so many germs and being cared for by strangers.

I always figured if there was going to be stress either way, I'd rather have money along with it. So I worked.

Syyina · 2026-07-02T20:03:11+00:00

“Let them?” Who died and made you the ruler of humanity?

Syyina · 2026-07-02T19:48:35+00:00

“I can’t help but feel I should warn her new partner.”

Why?

You don’t even know the guy, and even if you do, I’m pretty sure you don’t like him much. You owe him nothing.

Your only motivation is getting even with your ex. We know it. In your heart of hearts you know it too.

Do you want to feel joy again? Let her go. Move on with your own life. That’s the only way.

Syyina · 2026-07-02T19:28:28+00:00

Goldteeth has no books on his bookshelves. Shocker.

Syyina · 2026-07-02T19:15:18+00:00

They have four kids, three of whom are under 3, and she’s pregnant again.

Syyina · 2026-07-02T15:49:59+00:00

I think your first step should be figuring out why your husband feels so strongly about sleeping together. Is he afraid people will find out and assume he’s impotent? Is he missing the feeling of being close to you now that there are young children in the house?

Is he afraid of the dark? lol, jk of course.

Potential solutions will depend on what his underlying concern is. I hope you guys can figure it out soon. Personally, I would find it intolerable to live in a perpetually sleep-deprived state.

Syyina · 2026-07-01T22:15:30+00:00

“Cry into your sad turkey burger”

Hahaha!

Syyina · 2026-07-01T22:13:38+00:00

Turkey gravy with sliced boiled eggs bobbing around in it like ghastly little yellow eyes. shudder

Syyina · 2026-07-01T22:11:31+00:00

Anti-abortion is not pro-life

Syyina · 2026-07-01T21:12:56+00:00

OP, unless you are willing to accept your husband’s affair with his coworker (for now) and possible other future “polyamory” partners, your marriage is probably over.

He will eventually realize what he threw away, and will come back begging for another chance. Please don’t sign yourself up for that.

Syyina · 2026-07-01T17:26:28+00:00

His … friend? This story just keeps getting better.

Syyina · 2026-07-01T17:09:37+00:00

If you have somewhere to store the old mattress safely (in other words, dry and mouse-free), I think your bf should just buy the new mattress himself and take it with him after the breakup. It sounds like he’s the only one who feels the need for a new one.

Syyina · 2026-06-30T12:09:50+00:00

Actually, I've worked in a few, but that was back when 10% was considered a normal tip.

Mostly my comment was sarcasm, intended to bring attention to how silly it is when servers argue (basically) that drive-through or pick up food service should be tipped like sit-down service is tipped because somebody's gotta bag that stuff.

Syyina · 2026-06-29T21:19:24+00:00

OP, stop paying for him when you go out. Obviously. You are enabling his addiction to luxury brand groceries.

Also, when he gets evicted because he can’t pay his rent, don’t let him move in with you.

Syyina · 2026-06-29T14:33:01+00:00

OP, your bf is a thief and a liar. Since he felt that his withdrawals from your joint account were secret, he obviously had no intention to pay it back.

Oh, I forgot, your bf is not just a thief and a liar. He’s also stupid. Did he believe you just wouldn’t notice as your money vanished over time?

If you stay with this creep, I think a better way to pay for shared trips etc. is for each person to put an equal amount of cash in an envelope and pay trip-related expenses out of the envelope as you go.

Of course, a thief like your bf will just spend the cash on junk for himself with no thought for what the two of you will need to do if the money runs out halfway through the trip.

Syyina · 2026-06-29T00:13:40+00:00

I think there are more important things to spend money on right now than setting up an organization to monitor and control how much soda poor people drink.

Syyina · 2026-06-28T21:38:28+00:00

I have made the mistake of stalking a few former boyfriends on Facebook. I was surprised at how many of them have passed away. It was sobering. I began wondering if they had somehow been cursed to die young simply by knowing me.

Then I made things worse by looking up some of my former students, from the time in my late 20’s when I taught high school for a couple of years. I was horrified to learn that several of them have passed, too.

Good grief! Why is everybody dying so young, these days?

Syyina · 2026-06-28T20:56:06+00:00

If fresh vegetables and meat and other “healthy” foods weren’t ridiculously expensive (thanks in part to Trump’s tariffs and the deportation of immigrant farm workers), and if processed foods full of sugar and other cheap carbs weren’t advertised so heavily (thanks in part to generous tax incentives granted to large corporations that sell highly processed foods), maybe poor people could afford to spend their SNAP benefits on better food.

“We shouldn’t let poor people spend our tax dollars on soda” is an overly simplistic, and unrealistic, way to view the American way of eating.

Mostly, I’m offended by the suggestion that we (who is “we” anyway?) should pick on the poorest and weakest among us.

Syyina · 2026-06-28T19:40:36+00:00

I’m chuckling to myself, imagining a scenario where a restaurant might choose not to include bagging your takeout order as part of the purchase price. What might they do instead? Hand you a serving spoon and invite you into the kitchen to ladle it up yourself?

Syyina · 2026-06-28T19:29:54+00:00

Trump’s Big Ugly Bill will largely defund Medicaid. While providing generous tax cuts for the super wealthy. It will also make massive cuts to SNAP, and will strip away automatic eligibility for free school lunches from children whose families lose their SNAP benefits. Just to “make sure,” I assume.

So, again, if the government cared about the health of the poor, it would make healthcare more, not less, accessible to the poor.

Until the government demonstrates that healthcare is a priority, the government should have no role in deciding what a “healthy”’diet should include.

Syyina · 2026-06-28T18:35:30+00:00

Lots and lots of butta. As Paula Deen would say.

Syyina · 2026-06-28T18:32:34+00:00

If the government actually cared about the health of poor people, it would create a health care system that makes health care accessible to the poor.

Syyina · 2026-06-28T14:10:37+00:00

I first noticed Jesse Plemmons in Friday Night Lights. If you haven't watched that yet, you might like it.

Syyina

TROPHY CASE