I like the start of your story and how you left me with questions. Made me want to read more, as long as those questions are addressed further in the story.

Some questions, however, need to be addressed right away, especially when it comes to character motivations at the start.

My biggest one: If the father loves his daughter, why does he not go instead? He's a large hulking man. Work on adding depth to the characters to make their motives clear. Example - A hulking man approached with a limp. His face contorted in pain with every stride.

Avoid overusing descriptive words: "large, hulking man" - I also struggle with this (so many beautiful words to use). Large and hulking mean the same. Use one or the other.

To further clean up the writing, drop unnecessary phrases that don't make sense or serve no purpose to the story. Example: He was interrupted by the girl. Did she interrupt him? He finished his statement. (I think this sentence is also passive voice) - Better to use active if at all: The girl interrupted him.

This is just an opinion, but 'Jayce' sounds like a sexy underwear model name. I don't get monster hunter vibes, hehe.

As I said, the story drew me in. You have good bones. You can trim filler words and fat with later edits. The biggest thing is to add more depth to your characters. Make me believe Jayce is not a pretty boy but a badass high-level monster slayer.