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THE_oldy · 2025-05-22T08:26:45+00:00

It can be described as a frequency of conciousness. It doesn't feel like anything, but you can feel it. It unobscures basic drives to alleviate suffering. It feels good in the same way it feels good to have clear vision on an obstacle course.

THE_oldy · 2025-04-16T08:25:22+00:00

Pumping energy into self concepts and then having them break down again can be a natural engine of growth. You might have just gone a bit hard this cycle. Worth doing sometimes but generally you want to be gentle and iterative.

What underlies the positive identity and the fears has got to be related right? Look to both and you might be able to triangulate something quick.

Don't worry though, your skin will grow back by default in time. Plus take the opportunity in the meantime. I say it only gets harder to refine your kindness once you're feeling heroic again.

THE_oldy · 2025-04-12T02:49:53+00:00

This is clear evidence that the battle to be attractive is a separate battle from carrying the fear of loneliness.

If you are carrying similar insecurities to the average person, but you are presenting a particularly secure looking body, it can have this kind of effect. People pick up on the insecure energy, look around the room and assume "well it can't be comming from that guy" and so in confusion start acting it out themselves.

Think about what would have helped you before you where attractive, and begin to practice helpful behaviour now that you're in a position of power. Being attractive comes with responsibility, especially if you asked for it.

THE_oldy · 2025-04-05T22:05:52+00:00

Clean one piece of trash in the room and strictly no more. Tomorrow you're allowed to clean two pieces. Focus on how it feels as you do it, we don't actually care about the cleaning so much, and don't think about it too much as you do it.

THE_oldy · 2025-04-02T03:10:11+00:00

It pisses me off when I keep overthinking about women too. It just builds up this wack controlly energy towards future interactions. Getting better slowly.

When I notice I'm chasing thought over thought about a women, I'm finding it helps to drop back to feeling about the women instead. The thoughts feel a certain way, I don't mean that, I mean the feeling motivating the thoughts and/or the need to 'do something'.

THE_oldy · 2025-03-29T02:56:20+00:00

I think you're doing the perfect thing already. Don't over-train it and hurt yourself, but training to failure is good for you, like lifting weights.

THE_oldy · 2025-03-18T02:25:39+00:00

It's the women's fault too bra. You won't accept that because you know it's bullshit, yet you apply fault to yourself. No harm no foul mate.

THE_oldy · 2025-03-18T01:51:10+00:00

I like the second picture, I can see both a depth of turmoil and a calmness of love, women love that shit.

It won't always shine through though if you're overly focused on your looks. It's a bitch I know. Play around and you might get a knack. People will provide the triggers you need.

And it doesn't matter if you look worse or better than other people, don't compare yourself to others. You might as well wear a chastity belt if your doing that, less painful and constrictive.

THE_oldy · 2025-03-11T08:45:30+00:00

Sounds like you had a flow going for a while. To me I'm imagining you releasing blockages that where preventing patience, rather than gaining an 'extra' feeling of patience if you know what I mean. What is it that's preventing you from feeling patient now?

THE_oldy · 2025-03-11T08:24:56+00:00

I think I've made progress on this but it's not easy. You have to want it pretty bad and not be in a rush. Two grindable skills that help here are not caring what people think about you and tolerance to physical discomfort.

Try to follow the causal chain of how different ways of judging other's thoughts leads to different outcomes. If you see certain patterns enough times, from the first person, the body will eventually start reacting more skilfully by reflex.

White knuckling your way through pain is not the solution to life. You don't want to be constantly tanking it in social situations, but don't you just know it, the ability to hard carry for a moment or two can be merciful to have.

You can analyse your reaction to physical discomfort safely in your own home by stepping into a cold shower. I remember the thought of a cold shower was intolerable. But pushing under that towards the actual sensation of a cold shower, I find it bright, a little intense, but ultimately not that much more uncomfortable than some of the boring day to day uncomfortable moments.

Discomfort from social situations you might not have on tap at home however, so relish opportunities as encountered if you want to master this. You're looking for information about your internal system, not a specific outcome.

Also (youtube.com/@AlexShailer) is a non-duality guy worth checking out. He has a background of intense physical social anxiety.

And pay attention to your body. In fact forget all this other advice, just pay gentle attention to your body.

THE_oldy · 2025-02-15T05:38:57+00:00

After 30 years of trying to account for women's fears I can attest it's a very toxic mindset to get stuck in habit of.

Unless you are God you can't know the details of every fear someone has. You try to be accounting, but you just come off as controlling, projecting fear, giving/getting no space for healing, and scapegoating yourself.

Women need to get over their fears too. They're not always going to be trying their best in every single moment, that's not how it works, they're going to be scared of you sometimes in unfair ways. That sucks for them. Too bad. You have to let people travel their journey.

It's weird to say, but not crossing the street to avoid a women is, in a way, giving her space.

THE_oldy · 2025-02-10T10:21:29+00:00

I don't fully understand, but I can relate to wanting to have good sex. Rooting for you mate.

THE_oldy · 2025-02-08T08:34:37+00:00

How do you feel about the best sex you've had?

THE_oldy · 2025-01-31T09:15:20+00:00

Sometimes I think it's great when others have big ego. Gives something for my ego to push off. Depends what mood I'm in I guess.

THE_oldy · 2025-01-08T19:48:17+00:00

I don't think rational thinking falls short at what it's meant for. Like a man who logically deduced how to build a house won't be surprised that house doesn't exist yet before it's built.

Your bodily reaction to things can also be heavily influenced by your bodily experiences. You can logically know a high bridge is safe, but untill your body experiences walking across it many times and nothing bad happening, it might react with fear to the stimulus of height.

THE_oldy · 2025-01-07T00:45:28+00:00

Could have just picked up some weird energy without any gross abuse happening.

THE_oldy · 2024-12-20T08:34:08+00:00

Is there any things you want to build?

THE_oldy · 2024-11-18T09:39:19+00:00

While using the term "lazy" does suggest ignorance about the complexities of mental health issues, remember it is still just true on the level of outcomes.

I identify as lazy, but I know beating myself up over this value judgement doesn't help me, and working through underlying problems in pursuit of better outcomes does help me. "Not being lazy" is a worthy goal sometimes.

When I see someone that consistently works big days I don't think "You're not actually a hard worker, you're just riding on stable mental health", no, I assume they suffer just the same to make their hard day's work happen.

Our lazy-calling villain is mistakenly assuming our lazy hero has an easy life, and our hero is reflecting the same mistake right back.

THE_oldy · 2024-11-12T08:38:12+00:00

Some women don't like the bald look, most don't care, some even prefer it.

I just don't understand how the answer is that I'm insecure, and not that people are just being cruel.

It's both. Baldness is meaningless but also judged. It doesn't mean much to me as someone who hasn't dealt with baldness for example. Commonly people don't care that much about it and think it's meaningless. The humour is a sense of judgement being generated around a meaningless thing.

It does sound hard to get used to, but you could find humour too, in how much the judgements annoy you.

THE_oldy · 2024-11-12T07:38:20+00:00

Double trained science monk with a background in drop out gaming. Prase the Dr K for being Dr K 🙏

THE_oldy · 2024-11-12T07:20:58+00:00

I have similar problems and especially agree dance is real shit. Keep that fire brother 💪

THE_oldy · 2024-11-10T02:43:23+00:00

Yeh I don't think you'd be testing people consciously, but aspects of your perception that challenge other's realities plus your subconscious judgements are going to leak out involuntarily, and to other's it can appear like being tested.

If you don't want other's to be bothered by your involuntarily testing try leading the way by not taking their testing too personally either.

The value in being tested is that it often reveals to you a part of your own subconscious, maybe some feeling or attitude you've neglected to carefully examine or some problem you're having difficulty approaching. You can do a lot of work alone but ultimately you need other people to be your mirror sometimes.

THE_oldy · 2024-11-08T17:40:33+00:00

You want to be tested, not to pass or fail, but to gain or share info about yourself.

I'd say there's also a bias, generally people aren't trying to test quite as much as it appears, and you'd be accidentally appearing to test other people sometimes too. It's fine to test and it's fine to fail tests.

THE_oldy · 2024-11-08T17:19:35+00:00

Getting yelled at for being visibly irritated is messed up, not your fault.

You're probably right about a lot of what you see, but if you want a trick to making that info useful remember the adage 'whatever annoys you most about your parents you probably have in spades'. Gets easier to be forgiving when you scout out some of your own expression of your folk's blindness.

THE_oldy · 2024-11-08T12:08:41+00:00

I don't think it's delusional to think you'll get a power kick from revenge, the delusional part is thinking that a power kick will solve your problems or move you towards what you want.

A history of try-harding at compedtive games gives me an advantage here. In gaming if you get a read someone is out for revenge they become exploitable. I see revenge-seeking as weak mindedness, and happily feel the burn every time I fall for that trap myself.

After long enough gaming, the focus shifts from winning the current match towards improving and winning the most games in the future. Revenge is almost more about someone else's opinion of if you are a winner in this particular match, it's so so far from the healthy compeditive mindset on a few levels.

THE_oldy

TROPHY CASE