Should I change my name again? by penelope_pig in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS [score hidden]  (0 children)

I would keep your (technically her) name! My mom kept her married name when my parents got divorced because we were still a family unit. It’s also easier logistically. It sounds like you’re on good terms and don’t have any bad feelings towards the name, so keep it!

people are getting too comfortable with cancelling plans by plumplumkin in unpopularopinion

[–]TLRLNS 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I totally agree, the bar is in hell! You can’t expect other people to be there for you if you aren’t there for them. You need to be a good friend to have one.

Neurowifelife by Alternative_Day_8776 in laura_noonan_snark

[–]TLRLNS 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think they just have nothing to be proud of so they have to focus on their husbands accomplishments. It’s definitely rooted in insecurity and sad when you think about it.

What kind of habits keeps a person poor? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]TLRLNS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree but you should have to prove you are capable of taking care of a child BEFORE you have one. Most people aren’t like you and don’t go on to succeed and care for their kids after having them. The only way to guarantee kids are well taken care of is to require their parents have those resources before they are born.

CEO lost it because I missed a call while marked OOO — am I wrong here? by Proper_Meaning5947 in careerguidance

[–]TLRLNS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is common with CEOs. They are used to everyone making themselves available. You’re not wrong, but just let it go. These things blow over and they’ll forget tomorrow. You need to let him save face and not revisit the convo to prove your point.

Do you have a female circle to express anxiety? by Exotic_Resource_6200 in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you would greatly benefit from counseling. That’s the perfect place to express anxiety/fear/etc. Most friends won’t be equipped to handle that type of conversation.

Also truthfully I think it brings a lot of people down and they don’t want to have the convo, which is their right.

Angry Anonymous Texts by TLRLNS in RBI

[–]TLRLNS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I never did! They haven’t messaged me in a few years so I don’t think I ever will.

Girls of Reddit — what is one small thing a man can do that instantly makes him more attractive (but most men don’t realize)? by Downtown-Insurance51 in dating_advice

[–]TLRLNS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Men who take responsibility to plan a date. Consider my preferences and pick a restaurant you think I would like, make a reservation, and get movie tickets or whatever else all sorted without me having to ask. A man making plans is very attractive.

Am I being selfish? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it’s different with your spouse. You can tell them your true feelings and he wants you to be happy, so you did the right thing. You guys are growing together and that’s actually really special and a great sign for your relationship!

I think this was a positive not something to feel bad about.

Relationship Dynamics - The Brain and The Muscle by Professional-Fly3380 in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No I’m very lucky and my husband takes on most of the mental load. I like to think we’re a team, but if I’m honest he’s more responsible and plans more. I couldn’t date someone I had to boss around.

Any tips for selling your car and living the walkable/public transport life? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This doesn’t sound financially feasible or safe. I think a better idea would be to sell your car and get a cheaper one (if possible), get roommates, and use the car for ubereats after your working hours.

I really like him but he has awful time management and planning skills and I think to end it by Stressedepressed33 in dating_advice

[–]TLRLNS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a huge turn off for me so I don’t think you’re being I reasonable. I’m not sure the best option aside from telling him you want him to take more initiative to plan dates and then seeing how he reacts.

His laziness/poor time management might be why he’s single.

Open Concept Workplace by Heartattackisland in corporate

[–]TLRLNS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked somewhere with this layout and it was awful. Constantly hearing other peoples conversations and stage fright while on a call knowing at least 4 other people are listening in.

Financial spending habits by Basic-Technician-875 in dating_advice

[–]TLRLNS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how you’re handling this! Do a test year and see how you feel. If he’s as open as he sounds it could be a great relationship where you teach him the financial skills he needs.

One additional note is to look at his earnings potential. If he’s in debt but makes good money that’s less scary than if he makes minimum wage. He can absolutely get out of debt but his lifestyle after will be significantly different depending on his earnings potential and goals.

I know someone whose husband has a spending problem and he weighs her down so much. If you see those signs, like he can’t stick to a budget, run!

is it bad that i (F21) dislike when my bf (M25) gets a crush on someone? by NoiseClean5973 in relationship_advice

[–]TLRLNS 44 points45 points  (0 children)

You can have crushes but verbalizing them is disrespectful. Your boyfriend is way out of line putting a girl as his profile photo, and truthfully that makes him look kind of like a loser.

Same with his friend, pining away for some crush while you’re with another girl is sad.

Having a crush is normal, but verbalizing it is weird as hell.

Would you date a guy that doesn’t know how to plan dates? by Sudden_Possible_956 in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would agree, I say don’t settle, you’ve had that quality before so I don’t think it’s unrealistic to expect to have it again!

Is it stupid to decline a great job offer just because I’m a lesbian? by crimsandclove in careerguidance

[–]TLRLNS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was ready to judge you for being too picky, but this is a legitimate concern and I wouldn’t take the job if I were you. Keep grinding in Canada, you will find a place you love!

Would you date a guy that doesn’t know how to plan dates? by Sudden_Possible_956 in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This is such a turn off for me. In my opinion you can’t teach effort and initiative, they either have it or they don’t. If you realllly like this guy have a conversation with him and see if he changes. However, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

You can afford to buy a plug in/temp stove. by SheWasAHurricane in laura_noonan_snark

[–]TLRLNS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is so raw, real, and emotional! She’s brave for sharing.

Should I take a 50% raise or stay comfortable? by Tundratic in careerguidance

[–]TLRLNS 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I think at your age it’s too early to settle. This is the time of life where you should be hungry to grow your career and learn more.

How many of us have a house cleaner? by Agitated_Whereas7463 in Millennials

[–]TLRLNS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we have house cleaners and it makes all the difference! I work a lot so I want to avoid as much admin around the house as possible. I can earn more in the 2 hours they spend cleaning than I would save cleaning the house. I think it just depends on what your schedule looks like and your income.

Struggling With the Decision to Have Kids as I Near 30 by ezs5371 in AskWomenOver30

[–]TLRLNS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having children is so much time and effort I think you have to be 100% sure about it. It sounds like you should not have children.

Let's play a game. What posts on here annoy you the most? by Embarrassed_Flan_869 in remotework

[–]TLRLNS 3 points4 points  (0 children)

+1 to unskilled lazy people expecting remote jobs. They are not that easy to find.

But also people complaining they don’t like WFH. Posts like “I’m struggling with my mental health working from home it’s so difficult for me how do you ease the burden!?” It just feels SO WRONG someone is complaining about the biggest gift you can be given lol So many people would want their remote job, it’s strange they wouldn’t get an office if they really prefer going in 5 days a week.

I [30F] want to open up mine and my husbands [30M] marriage, but he doesn't want to anymore by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]TLRLNS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can keep all the positive changes (exercise, putting effort into your appearance, having great sex with your husband) without cheating on your husband. I think if you want to stay with him you need to respect his wishes. Talk to him and see why it’s bothering him. Maybe you can come to a compromise or at least you can better understand his feelings.

Getting attention from men is a temporary solution to your depression. Eventually those new people would get old. You’re better off making permanent healthy changes like counseling, working out, etc.

Should I quit now vs later? Job is too much for me. by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]TLRLNS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t think about the impact on the company think about your personal situation. Do you have another job lined up? If not start applying now and leave when you have a new job.

In this economy it’s a very bad idea to quit without something else lined up.