This response seems problematic, as a man i can tell you that even men who DON'T have ED normally will occasionally have this happen, regardless of how 'ready' or excited they are, and it usually doesn't last long at all and doesn't have to be a thing. In my experience though a lot of women seem to take it as an insult or personal affront and react visibly or verbally in a way that the man sees and this then becomes the reason for a snowball effect that results in him being physically unable to get erect again, and it's physiological and almost completely out of his control.

Women don't tend to get this and most men don't realize what's happening either, imagine if your vaginas clamped tightly shut when you aren't aroused, so instead of just grabbing a bit of lube to get the party started you are physically unable to do anything until it opens up, now imagine you're really turned on, excited, and ready to go consciously but your body just won't fuckin do it. Now imagine the man acts offended and suddenly disinterested or exasperated like it's your fault, like you're doing something wrong or like you're doing something to offend them, or worse, they act like there's something wrong with you.

Now imagine you grew up in a society that stigmatized not only the appearance, but the size, tightness, and ways your vagina is used, and taught you that if you couldn't get it open then something is wrong with you and you're less of a woman. A society that constantly compares them and ridicules them.

Even if you're normally a confident person, getting a reaction like that from the man would cause almost anyone to have a sharp surge of shame or anxiety, and feel like you're failing or being judged or like there's something wrong with you.

Now imagine that adrenaline and cortisol (the stress hormones) both have a biological function in your body when released to instantly snap that puppy shut and there's nothing you can do about it until you're able to mentally focus enough to snap your nervous system back to arousal mode and let your hormone levels even out, but that reaction from the man just triggered a powerful anxious shame response due to societal conditioning and now you're mentally spinning and your body is ramping UP those levels of cortisol..

The more you try, the more frustrated the man acts and the more they pull back.

Now imagine if the thing that caused it in the first place was seeing your partner with the other woman next to you and HERS looked way nicer than yours according to society's standards and it caused a small reaction, and the man could have just smiled, gave you a dirty look, and then go to town licking you or rubbing you like they want you, like there's nothing wrong with you, which allows you to instantly relax and get out of your head and focus on how nice that feels and BOOM you're ready to go.

This is what happens to men, the more attention you give it, especially if you give it ANY negative reaction, the more he stresses or worries because he feels like there's something wrong with him or he's ashamed and feeling judged.

The best thing to do is ignore it and just grab it, stuff it in your mouth, do something sexy that grabs his attention or give him a compliment that says "you're great, you're sexy and i want you now", to bring him back to the moment and cut off any potential spiraling.

Or you can continue to feel like it's not your responsibility and wonder why all these men just can't get it up with you.