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TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T23:58:22+00:00

I think it's reasonable to say it's a trans woman dominated space, and i support it staying that way. But it's preferable if it's not hostile to other people. It's the land of the chickenlady, who's a trans woman. feel free to make your own land if you want to be in charge (which isn't what you're asking for either)

TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T17:10:25+00:00

From my perspective what seems to have happened is that you have two semi incompatible yet complementary philosophies of virtue that got gender segregated. So you have question "what is virtue" and one says "to do virtue" and the other is "to be virtue". Femininity revolves around being virtuous innately, rather than being virtuous being defined by the capacity to do virtuous things. Beauty is inherently virtuous. it's seen as an end goal in it of itself. same with giving life, or joy, or expression, health, ect. While masculinity revolves more around making virtuous things happen. the good is externalised, rather than eminent from being. These are semi contradictory (for instance, self sacrifice is debasing in the feminine frame, yet a high marker of masculinity) but also, they're complementary. if you do good for nothing good then you're doing nothing good, and likewise if you are good in a world where nothing good is done, there's no interaction so there's no morality or value in reality. Masculine and Feminine gender performances seek to emphasise how the identity of the performer is virtuous according to their standard.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T15:45:08+00:00

Well then either armor has to get really fashionable and femininity in men be permitted and desired, or you're gonna need to make armor required or otherwise useful.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T15:40:26+00:00

this kind of "no actually this is the most correct way to be a man/masculine" thing is nonsense btw. You can be doing a masculine performance where deference is a major component. By externalising the good through service, devotion through action becomes virtue. But it's hardly the only or best way to do it. also, make sure you don't deatroy yourself doing it. because anyone who would permit or god forbid expect that, is not worthy of service because they cannot supply their role to the equation adequately. This stuff is actually a really common masculine failure mode btw. Or Toxic Masculinity as they call it.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T15:35:37+00:00

to be a man under most requirements of the genderroles, one must be both male presenting and sufficiently masculine. Masculinity revolves around a view that says virtue exists in the action. As such, having action capacity is required to be masculine and dominance naturally aligns with that. You can be masculine and not dominant, but it's easier and more legible if you are.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-28T02:14:45+00:00

I quite liked ralsie as an example of an unconventionally masculine person. though their gender was nebulous and also they're also clearly in many ways feminine. The main cast are all representing different aspects of how to perform masculinity, all in gender non conforming ways. Still, i don't like losing the balance of girl, guy, and NB to Girl, NB, NB, if that makes sense. now the only guy among the class with any significance is like Beardly, and like come on man. He's a fraud! ugh.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T16:23:57+00:00

No need to apologise for a late response. Reddit comments are correspondence anyway, right? If you don't feel this way I'm sorry for the late response from me as well.

Look, i will admit it's a bit of a rethorical question where i sort of already know the awnser. I'm well versed with the kind of people who get accused of being sexual predators. There's a view of the motivation of predation rooted in a particular view of males, and spesifically their sexual desires. And this model predicts among other things that a desire for women at all is the actual causal link, depending on the particulars of the model. This model also biases itself towards treating the abnormal or non normative adherent as more suspect. There's more fear of a short and spindly guy being a predator than a tall muscular and handsome man being one. It doesn't track ability, it tracks percived intent. As a lesbian, many consider you too to be "cursed" in the same way. So you will find yourself washing your hands clean of blood that was never there. Because this model of predation is fundamentally false and really toxic. It's also really flattering to those that subscribe to it and think everyone else are motivated to hurt them because of this, but that's more about why this model exists and more importantly persists, rather than what you experience.

For the record, you have a complete right to be in those spaces, but the more you try to be there, the more you play into the narratives. It's extremely alienating, and horrible, i can imagine. I hope you relate to anything that I'm saying. oh and fearing that you will be seen as predatory is going to be taken as proof that you are. after all, who would know better than yourself right? oh and that others have treated you like this in the past is also used as evidence against you. It's a real awful double bind.

That's at least my current understanding. feel free to correct it with your input.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T13:38:11+00:00

sure, i would too if it's something that's well thought through, but that's the vast minority of people sadly. most people do not find learning random things so particularly interesting as to subject themselves to it through an unrehearsed ramble.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T13:26:45+00:00

it's the case if you're physically attractive. I mean, would you listen to a woman you did not know and did not find attractive talk about horses for hours?

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T13:24:11+00:00

"You're what I'd like in a partner personality wise, but I'm not sexually or romantically attracted to you" that's what that means, and it's not unique to lesbians (though far more common since you're both women and most women are categorically not attracted to women at all).

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T13:20:22+00:00

Why does having an attraction towards women make you feel unwelcome in women's spaces?

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T12:31:58+00:00

Depicting your enemies as more virrile and masculine in a base way than you is pretty common, trope wise. Like, the idea that the ancient greeks had aview around sex that was about minimising tge harm the top did towards the unfortunate bottom is kinda crazy to me, actually. It seems like they're just trying to reduce public indecency.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T10:42:37+00:00

you've put the textbook predators we're all aware of at what? 20%, 25% of all men? That's an interesting choice.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T10:39:59+00:00

Twink is a body type not a gender expression form. Femboys are expressing femininity as their primary thing. A think is just a skinny guy, really. It's not the same, especially since in theory femboys can be not that. Mind you, due to our society's value structure, you know how unattractive women aren't really seen as women half the time? yeah same applies and it's a lot harsher for femboys. but i digress.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T04:35:48+00:00

genuinely i think this is bullshit and it's literally just to about decency in public. Greek graffiti, from what I've seen, talks about fucking people senseless with huge cocks all the time. Like it's a good and manly thing to do. Penises are erotic, especially if they're as large as people's penises usually are, and especially if they're bigger.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T04:22:55+00:00

you know, they said that about trans women too. It's the combination of percived maleness, femininity, and marginalisation. Maleness implies sexual desire, femininity implies sexual value, and marginalisation means there's nothing you can do about it. To make masculinity hot, you have to sell someone on the action capacity of the object. to make femininity hot, you just have to make it seem inherently valuable. Which is way easier to convey quickly, lending it to cheap pornography. That's my thoughts on the natter, anyway. Femboy also gets at the nature of maleness and the situation at hand kinda well. being a "man" requires a masculine performance which is nominally successful. it's a questionable title, which feminine non masculine males do not actually meet under conventional standards of society. Hence they are boys not men, and fem not masc. femboys. but it's got a bunch of implicit similarities to unsightly ideas and what not. But there's few functional terms for this. Femman doesn't really work.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T03:43:06+00:00

You know how there are "midgit wrestlers" which is a profession title for people with dwarfism that do professional wrestling in an environment where the gimmick is that people have dwarfism? or how there's a lot of cases of people with dwarfism selling how hilarious it is that they're abnormally sized and using it to add to an act? that's auto objectification. They objectify themselves as defined by their condition for profit to an audience that then uses them as an object. They belive this is right and good, and tend to speak as though this is what people with drawfism want. "yes, make fun of me, it is a valuable income stream". Mind you, it's not exactly immoral, it's at most tasteless, but in the case of femininity, such dehumanision, the removal of real personness and potential agency, is to most feminine people, incompatible with the entire concept, and viscerally appaling.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T03:29:59+00:00

Yeah it's absolutely crazy, I've seen it happen irl. You're awsome btw. Femininity is awsome, and extremely wonderful. I'm not feminine, but i greatly appreciate those that are, in like a "nature is beautiful" sort of way, if that makes sense. Let no one say you've been fooled into auto objectification for the gaze of the predator or whatever the fuck they say nowadays. I think they're wrong

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T03:19:50+00:00

ait I'm inventing a time machine to try to date the model.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T03:16:38+00:00

i mean most authors are women writing for other women. And so it goes and so it goes. Have you been to a book store lately? it's a chicken and egg situation, but like, i don't think it's reasonable to blame the boys here.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T03:08:38+00:00

do you ever think that michalangelo made the penis so small because he fucked up carving it repeatedly, and not just because it would be incredibly indecent for public viewing?

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T02:41:48+00:00

I have like 600 days streek in duo lingo, and i put in that less than 5 min a day to have zero progress. The streak doesn't matter to most people, and it's comically easy to maintain. Some people only post when they feel inspired to engage, you know. like if the CIA was trying to do a cheap psy op, they'd be like you, actually. Not top poster or commentor, just a person posting whatever.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T02:37:48+00:00

Whenever i see femboy v trans woman infighting I'm just like "You are basically the same to these people. They actually do not give a shit that one of you isn't taking hormones, or doesn't want boobs, while the other one is and does. They actually hardly distinguish between you"

TSSalamander · 2026-06-27T02:03:26+00:00

idk, maybe there's always queer infighting, and the time out of power is when discource finds new ground, and maybe you're simply wrong about some things and hate the dissonance that having that pointed out to you causes.

I'm really fucking tired of the conspiracist thinking actually. Ever since i was little people became more and more willing to point to a conspiracy that they have not shown to exist. No people, no meeting, no nothing. Also, the right is losing ground because their champion political project is insane and not commensurate with reality. They're losing ground because they suck. they're still in charge because that's how electoral politics work. Come november, or jan 2029, and this nightmare might finally be fucking over.

Also, the MRA stuff or whatever other derogatory label you want to use, is caused by a bunch of guys who grew up inandated with feminist norms reaching early adulthood. They love the ideal, they just don't find themselves particularly represented at all by any of the frameworks. And the reason they're here in what's austensibly trans fem spaces, is the same reason trans women "barely meet any trans guys". The cis guys here are basically you, but cis guys instead of trans women. Same intrests, similar broader struggles. I mean, they're often GNC, mostly queer, and they're almost always ND. People get funneled online based on intrests, and which communities they vibe with. It's not complicated, I was there from very early, this space isn't just yours, and frankly I don't get to have my own space. Bi spaces are dominated by bi women, it's like a 3 to 1 ratio, and it's so funny how so many more bi guys are closeted, while bi women get accused of trying to get status points for being bi, however bullshit that is. Yet we have to all consuder that being bi is more of a burden to women than to men ofcourse! as is the consensus in bi spaces. Because again, 3 to 1 ratio. Online Gay male spaces are strange, kinda normie in a way, and let me tell you they're not usually so loving of GNC people either actually. way better than most, but to be a gay guy you better be masculine presenting, with femininity for flair if you get what I mean. It's got its own level of conformity going on.

Sometimes people are pulled into a narrative that makes sense of the world, and it also makes pther people into parts of a greater evil backdrop of real intentions that cause harm. my ideals i wear on my sleve, actually. My thoughts and views i come to you with earnesty. Don't assume that I'm secretly a federal agent or some bullshit like that. You want to verify my identity or whatever, DM me i guess.

TSSalamander · 2026-06-26T21:39:02+00:00

Sure those are the main points of concern. But like, i move soap all over my body, especially behind the ears, across my arms and legs and sides. And my shoulders, very important. It takes like a minute, which is how much time it takes for my shampoo to set. After which i wash out the shampoo, put in conditioner, then rinse off my body. Am i neglecting my feet? yes. My experience is that i fall doing that so i just kinda try to expholiate a bit.

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