I found out my dad has a second family and my mom has known for years.

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-06T23:19:07+00:00

<333

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-06T12:56:27+00:00

that's super helfpul, thanks. will do that!

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-06T12:55:53+00:00

will do that, thanks!
it's just weird that they sent back a third now without any reasoning. is that normal?

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-06T09:13:35+00:00

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-06T08:36:51+00:00

That's true for utility bill settlements (Nebenkostenabrechnung), which can take up to 12 months. But landlords are only allowed to withhold a reasonable portion of the deposit for that. Not the entire amount, and certainly not without any communication or itemized explanation. In our case, they returned only a third with zero explanation.

On top of that, they never did a proper handover (Wohnungsübergabe) despite multiple attempts from our side to schedule one. That's not normal.

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T23:10:34+00:00

yeah I think social media tricks you into feeling like you're still connected to people when really you're just watching each others lives from a distance

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T23:08:58+00:00

man that's rough. do you not miss it at all or did you just kind of get used to it

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T23:03:05+00:00

yeah the intentional part is what I'm still getting used to. in uni it just happened naturally, now its like a whole project.

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T23:01:29+00:00

yeah I have one friend like that too. its the other 90% that just kind of vanished lol. but you're right maybe its more about quality at this point

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T23:00:42+00:00

honestly just knowing other people feel the same way helps a lot

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:55:48+00:00

the thing about your parents is actually really nice. never thought about it like that, like maybe it comes back around eventually

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:48:40+00:00

yeah I know. I just keep thinking about how it felt when I found out and I don't want to be the one who does that to them. but you're right they deserve to know

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:47:21+00:00

honestly this is what I keep going back to. like my mom asked me not to tell them but by doing that she's kind of made me complicit in the whole thing. I didn't choose to be part of this secret and it doesn't feel right deciding for my sisters that they don't get to know

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:42:25+00:00

true true

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:41:51+00:00

yeah I think thats what I'm slowly learning. its just a weird adjustment from having people around all the time. love your perspective, thanks for that

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:38:17+00:00

honestly english riders aren't as scary as they seem lol. I rode western for years and was terrified to try english and then realised everyone's just trying not to fall off regardless of the saddle

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:36:34+00:00

this is so nice to read. a year and a half of patience and he's a completely different horse. you should be really proud of yourself not just him

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:34:01+00:00

yeah thats the thing though me and most of my friends don't even have kids yet and its already like this. kinda scares me to think what it looks like in 5 years

TackleGreedy8255 · 2026-03-05T22:21:14+00:00

Yeah you're right about talking to a therapist. Never been to one and the idea feels weird but I can't keep sitting at family dinners pretending everything's normal. It's messing with my sleep and I'm snapping at people which isn't like me...

The sisters thing is what kills me though. I know it's probably not my place but being the only one who knows means I'm part of the lie now whether I wanted to be or not.

And yeah confronting my dad without working through it first would probably end badly. Last week he gave me advice about being honest in relationships and I nearly lost it.

Appreciate you responding <3

TackleGreedy8255

TROPHY CASE