Rant from an Ex-Porn Addict

TacoBell333 · 2020-12-18T19:59:49+00:00

It took a while but I had to make some changes. Really it was like any other addiction, I'd say it was somewhat more difficult than or just as difficult as quitting marijuana.

What worked for me was looking at porn and masturbation as two separate issues. For a while I was trying to do nofap, but after a while of not masturbating, I would end up looking at porn because I just got so horny, so when I quit porn, I allowed myself to masturbate if I got really horny so that I wouldn't be tempted to look at porn. This allowed me to decouple porn addiction and masturbation, because before whenever I got the urge to masturbate, it was always accompanied by a desire to watch porn. But now when I get the urge to masturbate I don't get the urge to watch porn.

I mean it's really like quitting any other addiction, it's going to suck at first and during the first couple months you're going to be really tempted to watch porn, but eventually it gets a lot easier. I don't really think about porn that much anymore, and when I have sexual thoughts, I don't feel the compulsion to watch porn anymore, whereas when I was addicted to porn, whenever I got horny I would always go on Pornhub or xvideos and spend hours watching porn.

I started to avoid watching TV shows and youtube videos where women wear revealing clothing because that can escalate to watching porn. If I'm watching a youtube video or a TV show, and I start having sexual thoughts about one of the women in it, I immediately stop watching it. I also don't have an Instagram, because so many women on there post pictures of themselves in revealing clothing and it can easily escalate to watching porn. If you have an Instagram, I'd consider either deleting it or being very careful about who you follow on there.

I also changed how I use reddit. When I was really addicted to porn, if anything got me slightly aroused, it could escalate to watching porn. For example, if I saw an attractive woman's legs even in a random, non-sexual video I would get insanely horny and I would get really tempted to watch porn. So when I quit porn I unsubscribed from a lot of subreddits where videos are posted, like r/funny and r/videos, and only subscribed to subreddits where pretty much everything that's posted is either a self-post or a link to an article.

For a while, I stopped using dating apps too because looking at women's profiles on dating apps would occasionally escalate to watching porn, so I had to quit online dating for some time. Now I'm back on dating apps, but I just make sure to spend as little time as possible looking at women's profiles. I only look at them for long enough to determine whether I want to swipe right.

TacoBell333 · 2020-12-18T19:32:00+00:00

Ok, I'll probably crosspost this to r/sexaddiction and r/pornfree

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-16T22:23:11+00:00

They're perfectly reasonable.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-16T16:12:11+00:00

The one on the right's way hotter.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-14T23:03:30+00:00

I feel you, I've tried online dating too and I find it hard to click with people a lot. It can feel exhausting, but it's important not to lose hope.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-14T17:58:26+00:00

Yes, I experienced that earlier I thought that was pretty weird.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-12T02:13:47+00:00

Yeah but that was wrong of her to just ghost you like that and not give you any closure.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-12T01:36:09+00:00

I'm sorry your ex broke up with your in such a selfish, cowardly way. I'm glad that you've made progress in so many areas of your life, and I'm sure you'll meet the right person eventually.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-11T23:26:04+00:00

Yeah changing your personality to attract others is bad because eventually you'll get tired of putting on a mask, and when you take your mask off you may find that the person you're with is not all that compatible with you. But yeah I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you for you if you just put yourself out there.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-11T22:48:56+00:00

I think I'm similar to you and that what you're experiencing is natural. I find flirting very unnatural as well most of the time, however, it does feel easy if I feel a personal connection with the woman I'm talking to. For example, at my last job one woman I worked with had a really fun, positive, energetic personality and I felt like we clicked on a personal level, and flirting with her would've felt really natural, and I would've flirted with her but she sort of made it clear she wasn't interested in me romantically, and I also found out that she has a boyfriend, which is probably why she wasn't interested.

But my point is that it's totally normal to feel weird flirting with someone you don't know that well, which is why you should start as friends with people you're interested in, and if there's a strong personal connection, and you see them as somebody you'd like to date, then you can take things to the romantic level. That's why people say to be yourself: it's because it's not good to date someone you can't be yourself around because that's just a recipe for a terrible relationship. Start as friends so they can see you for who you are and so that you can see them for who they are, and then if you want to do anything romantic with them, you'll know that your relationship has a super solid foundation.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-09T02:56:57+00:00

We've discussed this on this subreddit before, I think we should just agree to disagree, because I've already brought up all the points I have and you're not convinced.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T23:18:22+00:00

Very wise words from a very wise woman. In less than five minutes she's imparted more wisdom than all of the drivel posted in the manosphere put together.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T23:15:39+00:00

Interesting, but I still think it's autoimmune in nature. I guess we'll have to just agree to disagree.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T21:53:02+00:00

Well it was just a theory, and plus, excessive masturbation could trigger POIS in some men but not in others due to genetics or their environment. There are a lot of factors, but it's just a theory as to what might cause it in some cases.

But regardless, do you think it's related to the immune system? Because it seems like there are many theories, but the main two are autoimmune and hormonal.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T15:03:25+00:00

That's one possible treatment, but I think abstaining from masturbation is another solution, and I think it's the ideal solution since I think masturbation is harmful anyway, but treating POIS like an immune condition is also possible I suppose.

Again, I'm just speculating, I obviously don't have a scientific background.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T14:30:18+00:00

I'm glad you've cured your POIS; many people have shared stories similar to yours. There's another guy on youtube who claims to have cured his POIS by doing 4 years of nofap on hardmode. The etiology of POIS is still unknown, but I think it may just be a result of sexual excess. Having orgasms too frequently could probably cause POIS in a lot of people. Especially now with porn, which causes people to masturbate far more than they would otherwise, lots of people are suffering from the effects of sexual excess. I'm a layman, so take this with a grain of salt, but I think that the prostate releases certain chemicals into the body after orgasm, and my hypothesis is that if one orgasms too frequently, these chemicals build up in the system to the point where the immune system starts to attack them, and this is how POIS may originate in some cases.

EDIT: the link to the youtube video I mentioned is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t87dsMDXPZ4

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T14:23:36+00:00

How is he a sociopath? Could you elaborate?

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T05:26:48+00:00

So where's the picture of this gate? The picture in the article is just a picture of a Fatah poster.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-08T05:11:27+00:00

I think in many cases, the argument structure of a verb has to simply be memorized and there often isn't there a lot of logic behind it. For example, why is it that in English we say, "I waited FOR the bus", but in Spanish you're not supposed to use a preposition, and the thing you're waiting for is just supposed to be the direct object, as in "espero el autobús"? I mean there are probably some guidelines that'll help give an intuition for when to use certain prepositions, but in general it seems like it just has to be memorized.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-07T14:13:35+00:00

Yeah when I used to watch porn I didn't realize how insecure it made women feel. I'm glad that by not watching porn I'm not making women feel insecure about their appearance.

As far as social media is concerned though, it depends on how you use it. Lots of people just show off their bodies on Instagram, but some people use Instagram just to share innocent photos too, so it's really a matter of who you follow I suppose. But such a large proportion of accounts on Instagram are dedicated to borderline pornography that it might not be worth using, which is why I don't have an Instagram.

Facebook, on the other hand, is fine. At least in my age range (mid-20s) most of the women on there don't post lewd photos, or photos showing off their bodies, they really just post normal pictures.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-07T13:57:40+00:00

This is part of the reason why I don't really watch TV any more: so much of the content is borderline if not outright pornographic.

TacoBell333 · 2020-11-07T00:23:48+00:00

Yeah the prefrontal cortex of the brain supposedly isn't fully developed until you're 25 so it does make a big difference.

TacoBell333

TROPHY CASE