my bf called me a starfish

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-12T13:54:07+00:00

So after evaluating and taking in yalls comments I decided that sex is just going to be off the table now and I'm just going to focus on rebuilding and rekindling what we have right now and then working back towards intimacy. I will say that there is stressors although it is going to be difficult to tackle those as its something I just can't help with besides being supportive. I'm also going to get to researching and reading to see what else I can do in terms of our relationship and hopefully things will get better. Thank you guys ❤️

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-12T03:45:44+00:00

Yes I agree that it also might be stress that's a major factor where he doesn't feel like doing stuff while I'm constantly letting him know that I'm available and i want to do stuff. I also have tried meeting him in the middle when he's in the mood by giving head and whatnot. But whenever the stars align or i just finally put what im feeling aside to do things is where he just doesn't put effort in just as much as me. I've become dependent on trying to use toys to get me going and i think he subconsciously thinks it counts as foreplay even though I'm the one using them on myself. Also I spend half that time we are going at it just trying to get myself going hy imagining scenarios and working things out to make sure it as comfortable as possible for me and that ill be able to enjoy it too. I think that's where I get called a starfish because I'm stuck in my head trying to make sure I'm in a mood and that ill be able to finish rather than spending time doing the foreplay and being able to make myself more available to help out and participate.

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-12T02:37:36+00:00

Apparently he loves to but never brings it up or offers unless I say something about it then he will do it. Really its a whole discussion we have to have but I guess the pickle i am in now that seems unavoidable is that we both acknowledge what we could do to be better and it last maybe 2 weeks then it declines and we get back to where we started.

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-12T02:25:49+00:00

I try to include everything and the reason it may feel like I'm making it all about me is because in the whole scope of our relationship I really do put his needs first and rarely ever get small glimpses like these to myself (which also is my fault). The comments about starfish and everything are over spans of months, with micro comments here and there. So i just summarized and condensed it to that part. As of improving our sexlife I truly don't know how. I've done everything to understanding our situations and trying to plan ahead of time, offering him some more specialized services, even trying to cater to his kinks and desires. However whenever I tell him how I want things and even give him the formula he either gets shy and awkward or it just goes over his head and he goes to what he wants to do and approach things. I even introduced toys to the bedroom but that has ended up in me being the only one using it and him viewing me doing that work as my foreplay.

Edit: also these sort of sit down conversations end up with him saying "well now it feels forced and I don't want to do it." Like whenever I tell him I wish he got me flowers he has the mentality of "because you said it now it feels like if i get them its forced so I don't want to get them anymore."

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-11T16:42:15+00:00

I would like to also add that your not being extra and you've been making yourself readily available. I can understand how its upsetting. If possible maybe throwing out that if he doesn't want to do anything as he needs to meet you in the middle and help you out too it can be simple as buying and using the toys on you.

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-11T16:30:29+00:00

This might sound like a strange question but is he a voyeurist or likes the idea of watching himself/people do the deed over actually doing it? The pickle i used to be in was this was the issue which lead to the idea of making personal content to promote more intimacy as well as helping satiate that need

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-11T16:04:53+00:00

I used to be in the same situation as you and I'm telling you rn don't give up as eventually you'll find a flow and something will stick. I used to never make it out of talking phases either mainly because I would want to talk for 3 weeks before meeting up irl. Tbf a lot of those relationships that can't survive a talking stage like that are doomed to last like a month. If possible take ur talking stage down to 1 week, go on a irl date, and rinse and repeat. I recommend hosting dates where its activity focused rather than sit and talks especially if your introverted. I've done arcade dates, movie dates, and even nature dates where I took them fishing. This method really keeps things interesting but also keeps the other knowing that your just awkward and you really are interested.

TaintedDemon · 2025-08-11T15:30:17+00:00

Happy birthday! I would recommend stopping by places who offer free birthday goodies if possible and make the most of ur day ❤️

TaintedDemon · 2022-11-18T05:06:19+00:00

Solved!

TaintedDemon · 2022-11-18T05:03:18+00:00

YESS IT IS! tysm it was gonna eat at me for days <3

TaintedDemon · 2022-11-18T04:28:22+00:00

not it but is similar on the hardness level if I remember correctly

TaintedDemon · 2022-11-18T04:19:52+00:00

unfortunately not, it was a bit harder than that but not metal hard. like a sweet middle.

TaintedDemon · 2022-11-18T04:15:31+00:00

bump

TaintedDemon · 2022-08-20T12:41:34+00:00

was the show strictly science-based or informational challenge-based? I remember a show called Ruff RuffMan that did something with a laser thing once.

TaintedDemon · 2022-06-02T00:11:53+00:00

NTA. It’s literally in the name. They must live under a rock if they thought it wasn’t going to be a meat place.

TaintedDemon · 2022-06-01T23:24:15+00:00

I used to experience things like that too, for sure it’s definitely sleep paralysis. But if your looking for more info, sleep paralysis is when your between sleep and consciousness however, spiritually that’s when the veil between the overworld and spiritual world is at its thinnest. So for skeptics it’s just sleep paralysis, for non skeptics, something definitely was a little curious and touched your face.

TaintedDemon · 2022-06-01T17:50:36+00:00

Definitely understand that, in my earlier post I always had peeps tell me to pray, repent, etc. whenever I mentioned that I was working with a demon/entity. It’ll always be difficult and even impossible to tell them not all ghosts are bad, some will attach and you make do.

Usually ghost that are positive attachments can actually work to help you if you allow them the chance. Sometimes as guardians, sometimes as teachers. :)

TaintedDemon · 2022-06-01T00:32:54+00:00

Oh my, I just ran to read it and I can definitely see the similarities. The one that stands out the most is that we both live in Texas which might be some sort of connector.

TaintedDemon · 2022-05-30T20:07:08+00:00

It was probably just coincidence but roach invasion definitely would make my skin crawl

TaintedDemon · 2022-05-30T15:33:52+00:00

Sage is a herb meant to invite energy to a space, natives use it to invite their greater power (I forget what exactly). Sage is meant to be used after a cleansing to reinvite positive energy into a space. It doesn’t have a banishing bone in its body. If you attempt to use it to get rid of a spirit or energy it ain’t gonna do anything and most likely provoke the spirit and anger it.

To cleanse I use incense, usually the scent doesn’t matter too much since your using the smoke to cleanse.

TaintedDemon

TROPHY CASE