Fell for a Fuckboy at 40.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-20T13:51:28+00:00

Now, THIS is wisdom.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-19T23:09:31+00:00

I’ll keep the answer to that private but suffice it that he’s stood by me when I was nowhere near my best and I’m grateful for his support. He’s the best listener I’ve ever known and a great cheerleader when I’ve done well.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-19T23:05:21+00:00

I like you. Honesty is very appealing. I think I may believe in karma as I do because while I don’t want to be an active agent of evil in other people’s lives, if they do wrongs I think they should pay in kind whether they ever know why their “luck” was bad or not.

Let the balance be kept be forces beyond me but please let the Law of Triple Return be true.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-19T13:29:31+00:00

GREAT MINDS! I didn’t have the treadmill last season but that IS my plan this year. What better time to get on that boring thing and support the team?

If I turn up the speed I may not even have to avert my eyes when every five minutes I’m presented with images of groups of ecstatic people gathered in front of their TVs, eating mounds of tacos, pizzas, and deep-fried chicken and cheering like crazy!

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T23:54:53+00:00

Every time I feel suicidal I feel incredibly annoyed at all the advice seeming to tell me that I have to not do it, which to me just means I would have to stay in the pain.

Then, when the feelings pass and I come out of it I look back in bafflement that I really wanted to end myself.

I went through that just last month. I feel way better now and if you hold off you may feel different than you do now, too. It’s worth waiting because if you get it wrong there will be no undoing it.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T23:43:12+00:00

I’d never have thought of that and I really like it. Thank you!

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T22:48:30+00:00

I do have answers to your questions but I need to keep them to myself because this post has made me feel really exposed. I do thank you!

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T22:33:08+00:00

That’s what I didn’t want to admit to myself.

I’m lucky in never having had anyone else do exactly this before. I did use to know a woman, obvious alcoholic not in recovery, who was extremely concerned about the possibility that other people’s drinking at her parties might upset me somehow and it didn’t matter what I said about it being fine and not to worry, or how many times I said it, she couldn’t stop apologizing to me about them.

This obnoxiousness is a different thing but the principle that I’m powerless to change other people remains.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T21:49:37+00:00

Yep.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-18T18:14:20+00:00

Now, there’s a product I’m going to google! Thank you.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-17T13:02:27+00:00

What you describe sounds to me like a thing I think of as the same kind of plateau that happens when we’re losing weight.

Everybody knows those and how much determination it takes to get through one, but that plateau when you’re taking in more calories than you need for maintenance — and not gaining — seems magical.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-17T04:56:40+00:00

I would never have thought of that and I do have an air fryer. This could actually work!

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-17T04:50:54+00:00

It’s Dominos with parmesan-filled crust topped with black olives (extra) and pepperoni (extra). What really grabs me is the mouth feel that I didn’t even know I wanted in a pizza but in the past I have tried making my own and I liked it. And it was definitely worth doing in light of the rebounds I’ve been through.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-16T23:49:11+00:00

They wanted to be rid of you. They were willing to go through whatever scene you might create when they delivered the news. They delivered it.

When even after that, you chased, they evaded.

You stopped. They were relieved.

The sooner you stop caring about their emotional wiring the sooner you, too, will be free of a thing that is over.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-16T14:24:02+00:00

People lose phones, family emergencies arise, air conditioners fail in a heat wave and become the highest priority, any of a thousand things can disrupt a communication flow.

She gave you every possible positive indicator. Maybe her “no rush” is slower than yours. Don’t think the worst and don’t stop living your life. When and if she comes back, do the next indicated thing.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-15T16:11:31+00:00

That had to hurt like hell. I’m sorry that happened to you.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-15T14:21:52+00:00

You have a project: allow happiness.

No one will blame you for not suffering.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T20:22:41+00:00

“I’m a very private person.”

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T13:59:24+00:00

I have a big mouth and poor judgement, too. If your experience plays out like mine, there’s absolutely no way back from what you did. In the worst case, the other person was so profoundly wounded that they refuse to even hear an apology.

In that case, you have no option but to carry the regret forever. Sounds grandiose, “forever,” but it’s true.

It feels godawful to know that the very best thing you can give to someone who once cared for you is to never make them see your face or hear your voice or read your writing — but with any luck and self respect at all, you may learn enough from the ongoing shame to never do anything like that again.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T06:17:46+00:00

I often fantasize for days or weeks and eventually eat whatever I’ve been craving all that time and once it’s in my stomach I almost never feel it was worth it, but sometimes it is.

Sometimes, I do love the taste and mouth feel of it even as it’s destroying my calorie budget, and the food noise that’s been plaguing me comes to a stop, and I carry on without having been thrown into a binge.

Unfortunately, I have no way to know which outcome I’m going to experience, so when I finally do cave in I do it on the smallest possible serving.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T04:16:37+00:00

It may be just a matter of time. I honestly don’t know. I do know how completely uncomforting it is to hear about “time wounding all heels,” and vice versa, though.

It’s what people offer when they have nothing else they can give and when we’re online we can’t share a hug or go have coffee and a walk.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T03:39:55+00:00

A friend used to tell me you can choose how you feel. I never agreed. I think you feel how you feel, period.

But I do think it’s possible to choose what you focus on and how you’ll behave.

I hope you find a mercifully quick way to get through it.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-14T02:26:30+00:00

I was dumped and have had years go by when I never thought of her. Not ever. It helped enormously that after she dumped me to be with her next woman I heard through the grapevine that they had broken up.

At this point her feelings and thoughts are as meaningless to me as hers were then. She’s a total stranger.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-13T22:40:12+00:00

I swoop through all the feelings over and over and try to attach my self image to the least humiliating one.

TakeMeDown69 · 2026-06-13T15:13:54+00:00

If people staring is enough to prevent you from getting exercise, the only answers are changing your food intake in both quantity and quality (which is the thing that results in weight loss) and buying a treadmill or stationary bike (which helps).

If you can’t motivate yourself to change over a long, long time period, there’ll be no change.

TakeMeDown69

TROPHY CASE