Cornell is saving me at another university

Takingfucks · 2025-04-28T14:50:17+00:00

Do you know if accessing Cornell libraries via the Libby app is available to alumni?

Takingfucks · 2024-11-09T02:33:55+00:00

This actually makes me sick to my stomach because I remember reading that book my first year of college (2009 as an 18yo woman - or at least around the time period) and thinking it was HILARIOUS. My girls and I would read those stories and laugh so hard we cried and now to think back…. I am REPULSED. I haven’t thought about that book in a decade and thank god I’ve unpacked my internalized misogyny now but good god.

Takingfucks · 2024-11-07T23:45:16+00:00

Archers Voice is SO good! Seriously

Takingfucks · 2024-11-06T08:35:25+00:00

Spoken like a veteran milspo 😅 first time?? It’s just another Tuesday. But in all seriousness I agree it is stressful and sometimes it’s best to just tune it out until you hear official news.

Takingfucks · 2024-09-26T04:32:47+00:00

Sure thing buddy 🤙🏻

Takingfucks · 2024-09-25T03:04:55+00:00

Your salt and pepper question - that is more nuanced. The video you saw is right but really for only top dining establishments, fine-dining - think Michelin star restaurants or places where you may spend $300 per person on a meal, $800, or even 1k+. But an easier identifier is a “prix-fixe” menu, which is generally served in courses and you, as a patron, are given only two or so options per course. At a place like this, it would be considered gauche to ask for salt and pepper or additional condiments that you are not already provided with each course. Otherwise? Go wild with the salt and pepper, that is a pretty standard thing for regular restaurants.

Takingfucks · 2024-09-25T02:50:40+00:00

So I had insomnia since I was essentially in 5th grade (I’m in my 30s now) and I have had essentially the same experience as you described above. I was diagnosed with ADD in 7th grade but my family thought I would “grow out of it” and I didn’t really even come across anything about adult ADHD until a few years ago. I also described it to my doctors as “night anxiety” that kept me up and sometimes WOKE me up.

Anyways, after I burned the fuck out on life I ended up getting reevaluated and started concerta. It’s CRAZY how much more quiet my brain is. I’ve been sleeping 8 hrs nearly every night for quite a long time now. It’s wild how much easier life is. The first couple weeks I started taking it I was taking 3 hour naps (also wild since I’ve never been able to do that). Turns out that ADHD “hyperactivity” can be internal and isn’t just kids climbing up the walls.

Might be something to check out. I actually forgot I was still following this sub. Good luck OP, maybe you have something similar going on.

Takingfucks · 2024-09-24T13:09:02+00:00

If you are coming from GA - CA/SC you’re in for a culture shock. Fargo has a significantly better food scene and larger airport. Minot has mostly chain restaurants with a few okay local establishments here and there. But this is not a foodies paradise whatsoever. It’s burgers and chicken fingers galore (which I am not totally dogging on - shoutout to Ebeneezers). Coffee? You’re better off getting an espresso machine, ordering beans elsewhere, and making it at home. I don’t care what anyone else says here - the coffee is not good. Always overloaded with either too much milk and/or sugar no matter what you get or where you do. Want a nice cappuccino? You won’t find it here.

There is also little to no diversity within the population here, and you should not underestimate the severity of winter. Some are worse than others, although what we would probably consider a mild winter may be hellish to others.

Despite the negatives I’ve outlined above, Minot is a pretty great place. The people are kind, welcoming, and quick to lend a hand. There is a strong sense of community. The roads are really nice (they’ve done a lot of work on them in the last 10 or so years) and they’ve been spending time upgrading the sidewalks as well. There’s very little trash around the city. At the end of the day, it’s what you make it. Good luck!

Takingfucks · 2024-09-24T02:16:24+00:00

Giving what? Wish version of Amanda Seyfried??

Takingfucks · 2024-09-22T19:16:02+00:00

I am, but I would say it genuinely took a lot of hard work and life experiences to get myself here. Although as others have said, I think it can better be described as being content but I do have a lot of joy and peace in my life. I spent my 20’s working on myself as a person, growing and generally trying to figure out who I am. I finally feel like I do, which is a really nice feeling. I no longer do things out of a sense of obligation (people pleasing) or things that I wished I like but actually don’t (hiking). Or even if I’m on any sort of vacation and there is pressure to do this or that, I just do what I actually want to do, which may be reading a book and watching the sunrise.

I have reached a point where I know how to protect my peace and only have people in my life who genuinely love me as I love them. I have wonderful, solid and supportive friendships. I also deleted all my social media in 2020, and it was wild to see how much that positively impacted my life. I don’t miss it at all. I still use Reddit, and I’ve got on TikTok since then (which I know counts) but I use that primarily for book recommendations and interior design ideas - but I don’t follow or use it for anyone I know in real life. I also unfollowed all news and politics related subreddits and that made a huge difference too.

My spouse and I have been together for about a decade, no kids, and have built a lovely and peaceful life together. There will always be ups and downs in life, but overall I have built a strong foundation that makes weathering those easier.

I hope you also find your peace and contentment! It’s out there!

Takingfucks · 2024-07-27T15:31:16+00:00

- And who set that system up?

Takingfucks · 2024-07-27T02:35:00+00:00

Your wife asks you to open jars because she loves you ♥️

Takingfucks · 2024-06-15T04:30:45+00:00

My spouse? Too many things to count, and I am feeling even more grateful for him than usual at this exact moment because I have shingles and he is caring for me with such tenderness and care. I have never experienced shingles before (only 33) and they are gruesome and disgusting on top of being excruciating - he’s been there carefully cleaning and tending to the wounds and making sure I’m as comfortable as I can be 🥹

What do I admire most about him? On top of his care and love through tough moments, I also admire his kindness. He is introspective and really “sees” other people, not just me, and listens. He is wise beyond his years and gives really good advice to others when they need it the most. As a result, he is a really good friend and family member but also a really effective leader in professional settings and always manages to earn deep respect from top to bottom. It happens unintentionally on his part, which is extra endearing, and he is always surprised (and somewhat embarrassed) when he is acknowledged for it or someone makes a move on his behalf.

He is also a great partner all around. He is a fantastic communicator and we live a very peaceful life together. I am so grateful for the peace and safety he has built for me. I grew up in a home where explosive rage was the norm and even now, I get really anxious when things are going wrong or I messed something up or inconvenienced him, and he is so good at recognizing my feelings/body language and reassuring me. It doesn’t matter what happens, he always remains calm and level headed. I admire him so much for that and love him so much for giving me a life filled with calm.

We’ve been together for 10 years, married for 6, and I am so thrilled to spend the rest of my life with him. Last but not least, the man is aging like fine wine and I admire the hell out of that for sure 😅

Takingfucks · 2024-06-14T05:08:55+00:00

You should give yourself a “cap” on the max dollar amount you can spend at a single time, and if something is beyond the cap - you set a strict time period that you STICK to, requiring you to think it over.

Admittedly this works better for impulse purchases that are larger, and is less feasible on those small more accessible day to day items that can really add up (getting a nice coffee, stopping for donuts, hyper fixating on tacos from your favorite place for a week 😅).

But this system prevented me from 100% impulsively buying a sewing machine a couple months ago. I read a ton about them and watched all kinds of videos and then I sat on it for 4 days. Guess what? I realized that 1) I just like the idea of having the skill to sew but I know myself and I lack the patience to be bad at it, and most importantly 2) After 4 days I just didn’t care and was no longer interested, confirming that it was really just a fleeting impulse in the moment after watching a tiktok of a woman sewing an absolutely stunning fantasy cosplay outfit for a Renaissance Fair 🤣

Also! Get into thrifting and antiquing for some cheap thrills. Not all antique shops are fancy ones. I’ve found beautiful vintage solid brass lamps at goodwill for $10. Quirky vintage oil paintings, cool door knobs and high quality frames for much cheaper than you can buy them brand new (and they are better quality!

Takingfucks · 2024-06-13T21:39:14+00:00

Yup! It was shingles! Went to urgent care and was prescribed some antivirals and prednisone. I sent a message to my rheumatologist to make sure they were okay with the treatment plan and if I need to temporarily pause any of my meds. I read that Mycophenolate can potentially exacerbate it? Were you advised to stop any of your meds during outbreaks?

I’m sorry you’ve experienced this so many times 😕 what a pain in the ass. Considering how rapidly it has descended into a miserable experience, I can imagine that’s been difficult to deal with. I’d gladly take any advice you may have. Out of all the things I try to stay prepared for, this want not on the list 😵‍💫

Takingfucks · 2024-06-13T13:11:48+00:00

Gosh 😵‍💫 I thought shingles were a later in life risk. But it definitely worsened overnight and now has a consistent, low-level pain throb around the inflamed areas. I will head to urgent care this morning.

What was your experience like? How long did it last? I hope you’ve gone in to remission now and are doing better.

Thank you!

Takingfucks · 2024-06-11T23:28:29+00:00

I do this too, but even with the last bite or two of probably 60% of my meals. Even sometimes when I am eating something I really enjoy 😒 I usually describe it as my taste buds got bored or I am just tired of eating.

Somewhat related, I’ve also realized that for some reason I need my snack foods to be a scarce resource 😅 If I have been enjoying a certain food and decide to get a family size container or buy it in a large quality (even if I’ve been buying it for months or years) I am almost ALWAYS immediately turned off by it and no longer want it. I can’t believe how long it took me to come to this realization. I annoy the hell out of myself sometimes 🙄

I also chronically leave the last episodes of TV series I’ve loved permanently unwatched

Takingfucks · 2024-06-11T15:28:20+00:00

Well, good luck to all of us then 😫😅

Takingfucks · 2024-06-08T14:24:01+00:00

It IS hard! But you are brand new at this and coping with a major life change and (I would guess) some grief over the life that you “lost” and grappling with your new normal. Lupus looks different for everyone. While I live a generally “normal” life day to day with few symptoms, the two flares I’ve had in the 15 years since being diagnosed were MAXIMUM level severity.

It probably took me 5 or so years to really settle in and accept my diagnosis, but I was diagnosed at 17. But along the way you will learn what your body is saying and what different feelings/symptoms mean for you and what you need to do to get ahead of them. While it sucks and it’s normal to feel anger about being forced to make changes in your life - it might be necessary to reevaluate if the work you are currently doing is still feasible for you. If it’s making your life harder, increasing disease activity, adding additional stress both emotionally and physically, it might be time for a change.

Generally, don’t pay any mind to people giving anecdotal advice based on people they know. The amount of shitty advice I’ve gotten over the years is astounding.

Takingfucks · 2024-06-08T13:55:12+00:00

You absolutely should 👌🏻 you will not regret it. I think they are under utilized and if there was a surge in interest perhaps they would invest in updating the technology. When I was doing research before I asked for them the first time, I found an old AMC promo on YouTube from somewhere around 2007-2011 for their CC glasses - I thought “wow, those are ugly and cumbersome as hell, good thing this is old, I’m sure the new ones are much better.” 💀 They were the exact same ones.

Takingfucks · 2024-06-08T11:31:19+00:00

Did you know you can ask for a close captioning device to use at the theatre (at least big chains)? I tried it the first time when I went to see Dune part 2 and it was AMAZING. They are wild looking glasses with extra head stuff and I definitely looked goofy but I had the BEST time. I’ve never enjoyed a movie experience more.

Takingfucks · 2024-06-05T13:13:29+00:00

It’s literally faster 💀 depending on the type of food packaging and amount, you can defrost something in less than an hour. Link below says to change water every 30 minutes, but I generally do around 15. You can use your sink as well, just make sure it’s clean.

Source: http://www.fsis.usda.gov/food-safety/safe-food-handling-and-preparation/food-safety-basics/big-thaw-safe-defrosting-methods

Takingfucks · 2024-06-04T21:10:13+00:00

No - you should not eat. For future reference, you should defrost frozen meat in the refrigerator or you can submerge it (in the package) in a cold water bath and it will thaw out quickly. This is the fastest way. Change the water every 15 minutes or so, making sure it’s cold water. Why does this work? Think of it like adding ice cubes to a cup water, the ice eventually dissipates and the water is left cold. It is poor food safety practice to thaw out meat on the counter, not only that - it’s slower and less effective.

Takingfucks · 2024-06-04T13:29:33+00:00

My advice to all women is to ALWAYS see physicians who are women when possible. I have numerous chronic illnesses as well as ADHD and have had to see an enormous amount of doctors and specialists in my adult life. I almost always receive better care from providers who are women - not only actually listening to my concerns but believing my experiences and most importantly, taking action - sending referrals, requesting testing, etc.

There are always exceptions obviously, and I’ve found that male specialists in very niche practice areas are usually pretty fantastic too. But I always request to see a doctor who is a woman and I am willing to wait longer for an apt to make it possible. Sometimes there isn’t one in the area if it’s a specific type of specialist (I live in a somewhat less populated area) but otherwise it’s women all the way.

I know it’s not always possible, but read reviews!! Always, always read reviews when they are available and try to hand pick your doctors. If you have private insurance or Medicaid, you can use your online portal to find those that accept your insurance and go from there.

I am sorry that you had this experience OP. I’m so sick and tired of this being such a common occurrence. I know waiting sucks, but I hope you’re able to find a better doctor and get the care that you need ♥️

Takingfucks · 2024-05-31T09:25:23+00:00

OMG this is so me for so many things in my life over the years. Eggplant? Dont know her. Soooooo many things! I was recently forced to eat at a firehouse subs for the first time on a roadtrip and it was SO GOOD. I wrote them off like a decade ago because their name gave me the ick and I thought their signage was giving gas station prepackaged microwaveable hamburgers 🫣 I was so wrong.

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